A friend tagged me in an instagram video last night and I was totally mortified as I watched a chick sashay across a hall and fall smack on her face when her high heels did a 360 on her. Amidst loud guffaws she picked herself up unceremoniously and ran out as fast as she could and there I was thinking ‘that’s a nightmare’. The truth is there is so much worse out there than merely falling flat on your nose and what you do with a bad situation really matters in the grand scheme of things.
A while back social media was agog with the news of a vlogger’s marital woes and I wondered how she stayed bright, beautiful and positive all through the nightmare and still made a buck and got an award while at it. The age of social media has seen relationships lose the element of privacy as everyone is eager to be social which includes sharing everything and I mean everything online. Now while this might be a lucrative and exhilarating hobby there’s the downside of not being able to hide your sh*t when an ill tide blows your way and while little can be done to quell this trend (we are so past the point of return), something can be done about your reaction to a bad situation.
I may not be able to ask her about her bounce back formula or how she was able to ride the storm but whatever she did I am sure she applied these surefire rules to making the best of a bad situation and I know they’d work for you regardless of whether you’re dealing with a cheating partner, a failed exam, conflict, a scandal or great loss…
- Take a break. You don’t need to impress anyone, there’s no award for putting on a facade and we certainly wouldn’t want you to crack. Seriously take a break. You don’t have to go on leave or quit your job or flee the state but it would help if you had a few hours alone to just breath. Inhala-exhala.
Be careful who you share your woes with. Sometimes the people around you are more interested in your ‘gist’ than in sincerely giving a shoulder to cry on and bad news travels fast. If you must speak, keep it brief and vague, it’s your personal life after all. Also telling the wrong person your grievances could blow them out of proportion. Plus family never ever forget wrongs done to their bloodline so if it’s something not so catastrophic that you know you can one day get past, limit the dissemination of information.
Have that one friend: That person who gives you a shoulder to lean on, has stood the test of time, would be brutally honest with you and yet show empathy. Someone who you are not ashamed to bring on the waterfalls in front of. Someone who would pray with you, encourage you and ultimately cheer you up. If you don’t have such a friend start looking, you only need one.
Count your blessings. When everything is going so crazily wrong, trying to hold on to the little that is going right could be your lifeline. Is your marriage falling apart? Hold on to that great career. Is your career over? Hold on to that supportive family. Is your heart broken? Remind yourself what a hottie you are. Find a reason to smile. This might be the hardest rule but it’s the only light you have in this pitch dark tunnel. Think of the people you bring joy to or the people who think you are fabulous. Feed off their positive energy. There’s always that one good thing in the midst of the bad.
Pray- Everything gets better when you pray. Jeremiah 29:11 says His thoughts for you are thoughts of good and not evil to give you a future and a hope. Let that give you reassurance. Tell him all about it. You might not understand why it’s happening but be rest assured he has a plan.
Meditate- Get clarity on the issue. Think about the whole issue from start to finish. Focus on you this time- the mistakes you made, the things you overlooked and the things you could have done differently. Get some clarity.
Recuperate- Think about your next step, plan, take control. You don’t have to have the whole thing figured out or your whole comeback planned out just the next step in the grand scheme of things. Never ever let yourself go in the midst of a bad situation. Have a plan no matter how unlikely to succeed it is and work your way up from there.
Bad days suck but making the best out of it is the only way you can come out stronger. Force yourself to look your best even when you feel your worst and avoid the 3 emotional pseudo-comfort foods – sugar, alcohol and sex. If you crave endorphins so badly, workout. Sounds crazy but exercise does release feel-good hormones. Don’t get fat, drunk or an STD! Sooner than you know it the sun would come out again and you’d kiss those stormy clouds goodbye! Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and that’s a promise!!!