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The best of a bad situation

A friend tagged me in an instagram video last night and I was totally mortified as I watched a chick sashay across a hall and fall smack on her face when her high heels did a 360 on her. Amidst loud guffaws she picked herself up unceremoniously and ran out as fast as she could and there I was thinking ‘that’s a nightmare’. The truth is there is so much worse out there than merely falling flat on your nose and what you do with a bad situation really matters in the grand scheme of things.

A while back social media was agog with the news of a vlogger’s marital woes and I wondered how she stayed bright, beautiful and positive all through the nightmare and still made a buck and got an award while at it. The age of social media has seen relationships lose the element of privacy as everyone is eager to be social which includes sharing everything and I mean everything online. Now while this might be a lucrative and exhilarating hobby there’s the downside of not being able to hide your sh*t when an ill tide blows your way and while little can be done to quell this trend (we are so past the point of return), something can be done about your reaction to a bad situation.

I may not be able to ask her about her bounce back formula or how she was able to ride the storm but whatever she did I am sure she applied these surefire rules to making the best of a bad situation and I know they’d work for you regardless of whether you’re dealing with a cheating partner, a failed exam, conflict, a scandal or great loss…

  1. Take a break. You don’t need to impress anyone, there’s no award for putting on a facade and we certainly wouldn’t want you to crack. Seriously take a break. You don’t have to go on leave or quit your job or flee the state but it would help if you had a few hours alone to just breath. Inhala-exhala.

  2. Be careful who you share your woes with. Sometimes the people around you are more interested in your ‘gist’ than in sincerely giving a shoulder to cry on and bad news travels fast. If you must speak, keep it brief and vague, it’s your personal life after all. Also telling the wrong person your grievances could blow them out of proportion. Plus family never ever forget wrongs done to their bloodline so if it’s something not so catastrophic that you know you can one day get past, limit the dissemination of information.

  3. Have that one friend: That person who gives you a shoulder to lean on, has stood the test of time, would be brutally honest with you and yet show empathy. Someone who you are not ashamed to bring on the waterfalls in front of. Someone who would pray with you, encourage you and ultimately cheer you up. If you don’t have such a friend start looking, you only need one.

  4. Count your blessings. When everything is going so crazily wrong, trying to hold on to the little that is going right could be your lifeline. Is your marriage falling apart? Hold on to that great career. Is your career over? Hold on to that supportive family. Is your heart broken? Remind yourself what a hottie you are. Find a reason to smile. This might be the hardest rule but it’s the only light you have in this pitch dark tunnel. Think of the people you bring joy to or the people who think you are fabulous. Feed off their positive energy. There’s always that one good thing in the midst of the bad.

  5. PMR: Pray-Meditate-Recuperate
    Pray- Everything gets better when you pray. Jeremiah 29:11 says His thoughts for you are thoughts of good and not evil to give you a future and a hope. Let that give you reassurance. Tell him all about it. You might not understand why it’s happening but be rest assured he has a plan.
    Meditate- Get clarity on the issue. Think about the whole issue from start to finish. Focus on you this time- the mistakes you made, the things you overlooked and the things you could have done differently. Get some clarity.
    Recuperate- Think about your next step, plan, take control. You don’t have to have the whole thing figured out or your whole comeback planned out just the next step in the grand scheme of things. Never ever let yourself go in the midst of a bad situation. Have a plan no matter how unlikely to succeed it is and work your way up from there.

Bad days suck but making the best out of it is the only way you can come out stronger. Force yourself to look your best even when you feel your worst and avoid the 3 emotional pseudo-comfort foods – sugar, alcohol and sex. If you crave endorphins so badly, workout. Sounds crazy but exercise does release feel-good hormones. Don’t get fat, drunk or an STD! Sooner than you know it the sun would come out again and you’d kiss those stormy clouds goodbye! Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and that’s a promise!!!

Xxx

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Posted by on June 30, 2015 in Life

 

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Don’t take the piss out of my vanilla sky!

For a while now I’ve been unable to write. Call it a lack of inspiration or an unwillingness to write anymore bad news. With Boko haram bomb scares, economic recession, shocking deaths and doctors being sacked all over the news, it’s hard to get one’s mind into a place happy enough to write anything less dismal. On the flip side I wasn’t sure my readers would appreciate an ‘Alice in wonderland’ approach and worried that taking on the role of ostrich burying her head in the sand, acting like the world was painted in vivid shades of white and pink would be too darn eccentric! (I prefer optimistic)
But people, sometimes reality sucks! Sometimes we need to get away from it all and find our happy place if not, we risk losing our sanity. I found myself missing the old, funny, witty chutzpah before the state of our nation broke my heart. After a hard day or a bad mood, I knew I could get a good laugh out of writing a post on my blog. Needless to say, though the passion and anger of my recent posts have portrayed the state of our country, I want my happy back. Like my friend R said, peeps need to read something different from all the bad news the papers carry. The world is depressing as it is. So voila! πŸ™‚ My new resolve was born and people I’m proud to say that no matter how grey the skies look all I see are vanilla skies. (It’s the only way I won’t be needing botox by age 40!) πŸ˜‰

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not giving up on Nigeria, we cannot give up because the day we give up, we lose everything. Our words and our prayers and every little action geared towards making Nigeria better will all count one day but for now, I’m gonna rise above this and find my happy place and while I’m at it keep praying for my country and if any of you comes up with a way Miz Chutzpah can save Nigeria or even her own corner of Lagos, I’ll offer my services with a heart full of passion for my country and the Nigeria of our dreams! (Avengers assemble!) πŸ˜‰

Lots of lemonade’s gonna come out of this bunch of lemons. Thanks chutzpah fam for tolerating my long absences without suing my ass (Though I don’t think you could do that legally) πŸ˜‰ Nevertheless, I apologise. #plentyhugsandkisses

I read a tweet recently that I found so utterly ridiculous, I just had to share it and the amazing thoughts that entered my head after reading it.
Disclaimer: ‘I love vanilla, I always have, chocolate is the only flavour that trumps vanilla on my list’. (I’m talking basic flavours oh, not the hundreds of new flavours we have nowadays. Last time I visited an ice cream shop, it was like writing JAMB).
Back to the tweet:

Tweet from @UberFacts
————————
@UberFacts: Vanilla flavoring is sometimes made with the urine of beavers.

Did I hear an ewwwwww? Yep! My first reaction. Did I hear an ‘It’s a lie joor!’ Yep, my second reaction, so I googled it and voila, it was true as my bank statement which I actually do wish wasn’t true! Why would animal urine be used in food and perfumes? Ok perfumes I can understand since regardless of how many thousands of Naira a millilitre of perfume may cost, it still tastes awful! But food? How was it even discovered? And to think that it has to be a mature, male beaver makes my mind wander…

There are so many beautiful things created from things murky, terrible, frightful or just plain ugly. Of course there’s the popular lemons from lemonade but since I’m not so aversed to lemons, I’d prefer beaver’s urine to vanilla cos there’s no way in hell I’d ever consider a beaver’s urine remotely desirable. Urine in general isn’t regarded as waste for no reason, although a minute percentage of the world’s population would disagree. I still remember my cousin sitting on the toilet bowl with a ball of cotton wool in her hand positioned right at an angle to catch just enough drops and she would religiously wipe her face with it day and night. I have as much an idea about this Barbaric practise as you do, she claimed she saw it on TV. All I know is she still has the smoothest skin I’ve ever seen. (If you like, practise it at home! O.Y.O). πŸ™‚
Then there were the oddball patients who confessed to drinking their own urine as miraculous cures for varying disease conditions. We could say that these group of people believe in the ‘process’. No matter how unfavourable a circumstance is, as long as they can see the end results, they’ll carry on like they were on a Caribbean cruise ship having the time of their lives.

I for one have never enjoyed the process. If I could skip the pain and get to the gain, I would in an instant, but life isn’t always like that. Sometimes we may wallow in beaver urine till it stinks off our skins all in the hope of getting our own piece of Vanilla sky….
Sometimes doing the wrong thing seems so easy, less painful and way faster than just sitting there like you are in a clinic’s reception waiting for a nurse to tell you it’s your turn to go in; Your turn to finally get that job, your turn to hammer, your turn to find love, your turn to be celebrated. Yes, sometimes waiting for your turn can take forever but don’t be tempted by the treacherous shortcuts, remember that though you may still be in line and the line may look endlessly long, it’s already your time to be happy. With the break of a new day, God gives you all the ingredients you need to make it full of joy and laughter regardless of your circumstances cos as long as there’s life, we still have a chance.

Next time you’re about to delve into your favourite ice cream, think of the beaver’s urine and how it transforms into something so delightful and be thankful about the problems in your life cos the more impossible they are, the more fantastic your life’s gonna turn out. Relax, it’s just the opening act, the show’s just about to start and it’s gonna be fab!

So here I am, determined to be happy no matter what my 5 senses relate to me! Here I am telling the world; “Don’t take the piss out of my vanilla sky”. It’s liberating, you should try it! πŸ˜‰

Have a great day peeps….xoxoxo πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2012 in Inspirational

 

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