RSS

Tag Archives: Travel

Sisterhood of the traveling bras

It’s been a hectic 12 hours and I finally got comfy 3 hours ago. Well not too comfy because the chairs are hard and I am stuck for another couple of hours at the Dubai airport enroute my final destination.

I always wear jeans and a comfy top with a jacket for long trips, guess it’s the sensible attire for travellers. However this trip, I wore a strapless bra I had bought on my last trip to DC and the bra was giving me all shades of drama. By the tenth hour I felt like my bra and I had gotten into a fight and she was winning.

I was cranky, uncomfortable, held at ransom by a beige push up and almost believing I was gonna suffocate so I did the only logical thing. I stepped into the bathroom, removed the offending piece of underwear, heaved a sigh of relief and walked out a free woman. Bra safely tucked into my handbag.

It was 4am in the morning so I was gonna pretend I didn’t see the middle aged white lady gasp when I stretched out my hands to wash them and my chest peeked out from the straight confines of the side of my jacket- bulbous, bouncy and unashamed. Perhaps a nipple winked at her but who cares it was 4am like I said and the breasts still had two layers of clothing between them and the world so I shrugged and smirked and walked out of the bathroom- a renegade was born!

Now what made this experience epic? I began to take notice of lots of women in my ermm predicament. If you are an avid people watcher like I am, you’ll be surprised at the number of braless women at an airport. You can’t blame them, sometimes wearing a bra for a very long flight can be akin to wearing stilletoes and trekking! Awful and unnecessary besides no ones knows you there except for your travel companions and immigration!!!

So here are 3 life nuggets to glean from the sisterhood of the travelling bras:

1. The little things matter- many times we plan for the big events but it may be the little ones that get us in a pickle. Pay attention to details.

2. If you can fix the problem, fix it! Caring more about how you are perceived rather than what makes you happy and able to live a full, free life is no way to live.

3. You are never alone in a situation. Once you take a leap of faith you’ll be more than pleased to know you didn’t jump alone. You just didn’t notice them earlier because you were operating on different wavelengths!

Have a great day Chutzpah fam,

xoxo

 
3 Comments

Posted by on November 6, 2018 in Memoirs

 

Tags: , , , ,

B-E-N-I-N

  I recently took a refreshing mini-holiday. I had been craving some excitement and some TLC so I packed my little bag and I was on the next Arik flight, destination: Benin city! I had never been to Benin by air and never flown with Arik so I knew there was an adventure lurking somewhere. As I boarded the plane, a very hot flight attendant ushered me in and he was the first thing I actually took notice of as I had been busy with my phone from the moment I checked in. And as if I’d been given the forbidden fruit, my eyes were opened and I looked around, seeing the other passengers for the first time and I was transported back to the time when the hunks on the covers of the Mills and Boons I read, ruled my world. It was like someone had cloned a whole plane of Tyson Beckfords and left me in there, I found my sit, took a deep breath and brought out a book to read. I always read on the plane cos if I’m not reading then I’m sleeping and falling asleep on the plane usually makes me wake up slightly deaf because of the pressure. The title of my book was ‘Act like a lady, think like a man’ by Steve Harvey and Lord knows, I definitely didn’t need to be thinking like a woman on that plane or my thoughts would have run amok! Kudos to Arik for getting me to Benin on time though the pilot did announce that the price for punctuality was that we would only be served water as the snack people hadn’t arrived by the time the plane was taking off. A woman beside me had groaned at the news, obviously she’d have preferred to have her flight delayed for an hour or two than be denied the pleasures of an almost tasteless bread-roll and a plastic cup of juice. I on the other hand couldn’t wait to get off the plane regardless of the eye-candy cos I was gonna be seeing a certain someone… 😉

One of the places I visited was Asotime groove. It’s Benin’s version of Abuja’s Blakes resort but with much more humor. I’d like to announce to you that Michael Jackson didn’t die, he only relocated to Benin where he now wears a green shiny shirt, obviously his favorite and was given another shot at dark skin. I might be wrong but the guy doing the moonwalk must have done some jazz after MJ died, like a transference of skill. Wizkid was in the building too or his twin maybe and the guy was dancing and miming like he was the real deal. I was ecstatic as I have of recent developed a great love for that under-aged boy and I danced and sang along to my heart’s content, maybe under the influence but I’d deny that in court… 🙂

While we are on the subject of alcohol, I couldn’t help noticing the customer service at a certain joint we visited. A guy called ‘Humphrey’ (don’t laugh) was our waiter for the night and he kept repeating his name like he was afraid we’d tip someone else when it was time to pay and while watching a football match, my eyes strayed to the big signboard on one of the walls of the bar. ‘IF YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH OUR SERVICES, PLEASE CALL 080….’ There were three numbers and I was absolutely tripped. In Lagos, the only signboard you’d see in a joint like that would be ‘NO CREDIT TODAY, TRY AGAIN TOMORROW’ or more to the point, ‘WE DON’T SELL ON CREDIT AND GOODS OPENED CANNOT BE RETURNED!’ Benin I hail you oh! I wonder if they’d give you your money back if you complained. 🙂

I couldn’t help noticing how fashion conscious everybody was. The boys had obviously never gotten past the 50cents or Ja Rule fad and wore chains on their necks that looked so heavy it made me wonder if slavery hadn’t been abolished in Benin. The bling blings matched their ‘Get rich or die trying’ attitude and their women weren’t left out. I honestly believe Bini girls are the best dressed girls in Nigeria. They don’t believe less is more and could give Miss Pepeye a run for her money yet they still look fabulous in a way all their own. Even the woman that sold me cow leg in the market was decked up! From false eyelashes and ?brazilian hair to clothes, shoes and jewelry all in bright yellow and long curvy fingernails to match. The way she worked that meat with her nails made me wonder…

On my last night in the town, I stopped by a supermarket and while I was there a man walked in looking like a cross between a drunk homeless person and Bob Marley re-incarnated and in a strong American accent, asked the alarmed shopkeeper if she sold rizlas. He sounded like he was asking for close-up toothpaste and I could hardly control my laughter. Guess everything the Bini people do is with flair and aplomb. 🙂

At last it was time to say goodbye but only for a while. I had cooked snail for the first time in this city, along with my famous edikainkong and explored one of the oldest cities in Africa and I couldn’t wait to do it again. Shout out to baby boy who made the trip a fantastic one. Abuja looks slightly less colorful now…

Off to bed folks, thoughts of wizkid on my mind…purely innocent! Loving track 06….have a great night peeps…xoxoxo 😉

 
9 Comments

Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Memoirs

 

Tags: , , , , ,

A tale of two cities

  I’ve always loved Abuja. It has all the things I love about Lagos and less of the things I hate.
We’d always flirted around, our trysts lasting for three to five days at a time. Wild exciting nights in the capital city. My lover enticed me with her clubs, fish joints and quiet swagger and then we saw each other more as our affair blossomed, I began to memorize her roads, sight landmarks and be welcomed into the inner caucus. I was out to explore.

She dazzled me with a new lifestyle and begged me to change my perception and get a new orientation. I saw things that made me marvel. Point and kill rabbits in a garden-resort where preserving greenlife was their hallmark. The rabbits tried and found guilty of decades of grass-nibbling awaited their execution. I felt a wave of nausea as I looked at the innocent eyes of the rabbits their fates already sealed. The polo clad cannibals were justified in their protection of the grass as their own contribution towards preventing total annihilation from the depleting ozone layer and if along the way a delicious meal was thrown in, who were they to refuse.

I was amazed that instead of being sold gala and bottled coke in the well-ordered traffic, I was offered gold rings and other form of jewellry by non-Hausa, street hawkers. Our own l’il Las Vegas. ‘Madam make oga buy you this nice gold ring, I go put in one chain for you. Church dey for the next junction!’ I laughed all the way to the airport! Marriage made easy 101. Guys you are fast running out of excuses! 😉

The airport sadly is something I’ll greatly miss my trusty lover Lagos for. MM2 thanks to Wale Babalakin is all the things the Abuja airport is not. As I waited for my flight on a supposed queue being jostled by disgruntled passengers, I got serenaded by touts left, right and center and avoided eye-contact as every person who caught my eye unceremoniously demanded a tip. I switched to Oshodi mode and got it over and done with quickly enough. It was a tryst through and through, ridden with exciting tales to tell.

While sowing my wild oats, an old flame called.
Benin was one of those lovers that called you up once in a while and it was like not a day had gone by since the last time you were together. The place remained the same. I decided to go by road and Edegbe lines was the logical choice being an old faithful. It was an executive fully air-conditioned bus and the passengers were mostly students. The trip was a jolly one with fast-flowing Bini conversations blocking out the hi-life music in the background. All was well till a passenger, Mr X decided to cause chaos by farting in the enclosed air-tight bus. Now if there was any other ethnic group packed in the bus, we may have been able to downplay and possibly ignore the eroding of our nasal linings and inherent asphyxiation but not the Bini people. They cursed and squirmed and covered their noses with anything from a handky to nylon bags. They cursed his diet, his ass, his lack of bus etiquettes and his ‘shamelessness’ in fluent pidgin and then a good Samaritan thought it most helpful to spray a generous amount of perfume Y into the air-tight confines which had us all coughing and wheezing with the acrid mix of eau de fart! At Ore when we stopped to eat, the passengers warned the unknown offender to locate a toilet and not to buy any eggs or beans. Outspoken and audacious, these people were only concerned about breathing in at least 20% pure oxygen given the circumstances. The rest of the trip was uneventful. Benin embraced me, toasted me with freshly plucked chickens and banga soup. It tempted me away from the hustle and bustle of Las gidi to a more rustic lifestyle without letting go of the vibrancy of city life. I felt the sting of a soldier ants and the bite of sand-flies anew. Pidgin english was the acceptable lingo with a lilt that was entirely theirs. But an old flame is an old flame and soon our time was up. My heart longed for Lagos and away I went.

The dude loading the travelling bags on the bus threatened to mark my face and treat my f**k up cos I refused to tip him after being over-charged for my trip. He hadn’t treated it there and then because several passengers had within earshot warned me to ignore him. I laughed, little did he know that Benin was just a classic case of ‘Okafor’s law’. We’d been lovers once, years ago when I was a kid and my dad made me spend a greater part of my summer holidays in Benin with my dear uncle and an opportunity had arisen to renew the warmth of this old flame but that being done, it was time to let bygones be bygones. I had gotten closure. He could do me no harm even if he tried though I did hope I didn’t have a look-alike in Benin.

As I returned to Lagos, I felt the familiar stirring of my heart as I looked upon my home but something was amiss. Abuja had made an offer I couldn’t refuse. She wanted to be more than friends with benefits. She had me sprung with a hint of a future I’d only imagined. So I kissed Lagos goodbye and hopped on a plane with a one-way ticket to the arms of a casual lover offering a more meaningful relationship.

My welcome party started at Cubana with Tuface Idibia in the house. It was an after-wedding party and a wonderful way to baptize me into the Abuja crowd.
I was armed with all of my Lagos swagger and was secretly impressed at how calm people were. In Lagos, if a celeb hit an excusive club, at least one ‘bros’ could be bet on to go over-board and need restraint from the unsmiling bodyguards but not here. Tuface hugged and shook everyone in a genial manner, ordered Moet on the house and settled down on the couch opposite me, grinning from ear to ear. The DJ too was on-point. Instead of indulging in hero-worship and putting away his mix-tapes to play Tuface’s latest album back to back, he played some fat oldies which got everyone dancing to a fevered pitch. I couldn’t understand why some of the girls with their over-priced brazilian hair would wear slippers akin to flip-flops to club, I reckoned they must be Brazilian too. 🙂

Today I’m off to Kaduna with a health guru, an entrepeneur and an international strategist to look at a site for a world-class facility and I smile to myself…Life has only begun and Abuja has stolen my heart!

Have a great sunday people…xoxo

 
13 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2011 in Hall of Fame, Memoirs

 

Tags: , ,

This is what i had to do to be a doctor…so R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!

      As part fulfillment for my attainment of the M.B;B.S degree, I learnt that it would be required of me to provide basic healthcare to certain communities in Lagos and it’s immediate surroundings. My community immersion began on the 16th of June 2008. My first assignment was to spend 4 working days in Alhaji Masha Surulere popularly known as Shitta. Since I had never been there before I left school in the old rickety school bus with an open mind, my lively group members in tow and with a Ghana must go full of drugs, medical supplies and health education tools. Being the group rep, I was asked a lot of questions about where we were headed by my over-eager group members that i just couldn’t answer. We arrived at Shitta at 9.30 am and the place was like any other part of Lagos only worse with overpopulated rambling storey buildings and dirty surroundings and a great number of young men who should have been at work hanging on the streets. We the final year medical students of the University of Lagos, College of Medicine became street doctors going from flat to flat, household to household interviewing the people, finding out their health and health related problems and treating their illnesses. We also had in-depth interviews with the leaders of the community to hear their views on the standard of living, health and other problems in the community. The only fee collected from them was minimal and only during the sale of prescribed drugs. Also we had a focused group discussion on sexually transmitted diseases where the youths aired their views and we tried to correct their misconceptions. We also went to the African gospel nursery and primary school located in the community where we assessed the children’s nutritional status, de-wormed them and examined them as well as treating the common illnesses we encountered. We knew our limits and referred patients who needed expert care to the nearest functional hospital. We also carried out a mass immunization exercise. On the last day, we presented our findings to the leaders of the community and put our heads together to come up with possible solutions to present in our action plan to the Local government. The major health problems in Shitta were malaria, hypertension and arthritis while the health related problems were overcrowding with up to seven adults living in a small room, unemployment amongst the youth and a high percentage of old people in addition to poor environmental sanitation due to poor drainage. On the 22nd of June, we left school in some hired old buses to a destination unknown. Ire-akari village they called it. Our arsenal was an assortment of food, clothes, mosquito repellants and our faithful Ghana must go full of medical supplies. Most of us hadn’t been to a village in years and were dreading the thought of spending four nights in a village unknown. All we told our parents and guardians was that we were headed to Pakoto in Ifo Local government of Ogun state. We arrived there at 12.30pm. the village looked deserted, maybe the villagers were still in church. The bus stopped at an unpainted duplex and we waited with bated breaths. Our facilitators asked us to come down with all our luggage and we were ushered into a small bungalow behind and given two rooms the size of prison cells with only one window unprotected by netting per room. This was the beginning of a long ordeal. We had to use pit latrines, there was no electricity in the village as the transformer had blown months ago and was yet to be fixed, we had to sleep on bare concrete floor at the mercy of sand flies thankfully a few of us, I included had brought mattresses. In those five days we were expected to fill questionnaires, interview the people, treat their illnesses, count the number of houses, draw a map, de-worm all their school children as well as assess their nutritional status and immunize the people especially the children in the village. We also had to conduct focus group discussions on HIV/AIDS, a topic chosen by us because during our interviews we realized the people had no knowledge on HIV/AIDS. The people were cordial and initially a bit skeptical of us. The palm wine was fresh and the village lacked mosquitoes- what a blessing! There were three primary schools in the village but the children had to travel miles for secondary education. Many of the children were undernourished and had varying skin diseases. We had to educate some of their parents on cheap sources of protein. On the last day we gave out food stuffs and provisions to the villagers and they prayed lengthily for our success. It was quite an experience. I was thankful that I could help this people in my own little way. It wasn’t easy because all of us were city kids used to the comfort of high brow Lagos but we survived. Looking back I can laugh at all the incidences that made me cry like falling on my way to the stream into elephant grass and not only tearing my jeans but itching all night because of the elephant grass. We thought the Institute of Community Health was punishing us by sending us into the wild but we returned fulfilled and more aware of the problems of the masses. I wish more programs like this would be incorporated into medical schools nation wide and that more importantly, the government will reach out to these mostly unnoticed set of people. I got an A and I was excited although honestly, I wouldn’t wanna repeat that experience. Today I’m a proud doctor and all I can say is E seun Baba!!!

 
4 Comments

Posted by on October 19, 2010 in Health, Memoirs

 

Tags: , , , , ,

The ultimate survival guide for a successful long distance relationship!

…A long but very worthwhile read…
Has your boy/girlfriend recently gotten a job transfer or moved cities or maybe just schools or lives in a different town from you or is away for a year doing masters or nysc? Or more frightening has he or she just joined the army? Your relationship may be heading to the rocks according to statistics which claim that majority of the long distance relationships are doomed to failure mostly as a result of unfaithfulness & drifting apart but we are trend-setters and we do not have to be a statistic!!! Cheer up mates, when life gives u lemons you make lemonade… So here are some great tips, alot of ’em are pretty basic for surviving and enjoying a long-distance romance. Remember that to you it may be a choice to date someone far away but for army wives and people whose income depends on a spouse who works miles away, they don’t have much of a choice…1. Communicate Daily
You and your partner will need to make it a priority to communicate daily to keep love alive. During the day communication can take place by email or text. In the evenings you need to have time designated to be on the phone to discuss your day, just like you would if you came home to them daily. Webcam chats on skype and yahoo have gained some popularity& it’s a great way of communicating with your partner as the person feels like he/she is actually there. Do not forget the rather old-fashioned but very romantic art of writing letters. Imagine receiving a letter from your partner in his/her handwriting? sending E-cards, funny emails, loads of personal pictures and even greeting cards by post help in the communication process. Despite the temptation to always keep your communication cheerful & light, remember this person is your friend & partner & you are allowed to share some of the down sides of your daily life with him/her too. Just don’t overwhelm the person as they tend to worry more when they are too far away to help you and offer the physical comfort you may need.2. Respond to your partner immediately (if possible)
You must show your partner that the relationship is priority to you. Respond to email, text or phone messages as quickly as possible. You want to create the image that communicating with them is important to you.

3. Send gifts or small tokens of appreciation and love
If your budget will allow send small gifts, flowers or even cards as often as you possibly can. This will keep you constantly on your loved ones mind. It will also build up an expectation of giving to each other. Who doesn’t like to receive things?

4. Make plans to see each other as often as possible
Make the sacrifices in your spending and lifestyle that will make traveling to see each other possible. Take advantage of frequent flyer miles, hotel&air ticket discounts.

5. Have long distance date nights
Set aside a day and time for uninterrupted activity with each other. You can do such things as agree upon a relationship/self-help book to read and assign chapters for discussion during your date time. Or you can both rent the same movie, start it simultaneously and watch it while on the phone together.

6. Remain optimistic
I know that this is a trying process at times, but it is important to remain optimistic. Reassure each other that the sacrifice is worth it and that you will be together soon.

7. Take lots of pictures when you’re together:
Sure, it’s sappy and lame, but who doesn’t want a picture of that special someone to look at when he/she’s not around. It helps to capture the special moments you share on the rare occasions when you do see as these photos may be all you have to guide you through the tough times. Pictures with both of you in them are much better than personal shots as they foster a degree of intimacy that’s a joy to behold during the long lonely periods. Plus, you can show your photos to people that insist on telling you your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t exist since they haven’t met.

8. Keep a Journal
Sometimes you may feel lonely, insecure and despondent and it’s harder when you have that friend who’s telling you it won’t work and putting doubts in your head or you’re surrounded by people whose partners are close by and all lovey-dovey and who won’t understand what you’re going through. Telling your partner your fears constantly may not be the best of ideas as fear begets fear and even though he/she may do a good job of reassuring you, constant complaint may put a strain on the relationship especially because the other person will feel powerless to help you and here’s where a journal comes in. It could be in a book, on your phone or on your p.c but wherever it is, pouring out your heart into it will make you feel a whole lot better like you actually talked to someone. Allowing yourself a personal outlet for your concerns, worries, joys and celebrations can be cathartic. The wife of a military officer confessed that the journal she kept throughout the first year served as a window into her previous experiences, showing her how far they had come and offering her own advice and encouragement for the rest of the year. Like an old friend, her journal inspired her into successfully surviving year number two.

9. Plan special events with family and friends
Whether it is a vacation, shopping or a coffee date, planning meetings with friends and family create events to look forward to and help to lighten the separation. These dates provide much needed laughs and support through a difficult time. Too much alone time can increase a sense of isolation. Get out of the house, have some fun and remember why these fabulous people are your friends in the first place.

10. Set personal goals
Set some kind of personal goal that you wish to accomplish by the end of a long separation. Many choose to get into shape, save money, take a class, or plan a vacation upon the return of their partner. By focusing on the positive aspects of being apart, it helps to focus the mind on positive accomplishments for the separation instead of the negative emotions. The added bonus is that at the end you’ll feel fit and sexy while spending all of that extra money on a fabulous vacation for two.

11. Join a support network
Many have found it helpful to chat with other people experiencing similar situations. Sometimes it just helps to hear stories from others who have
been-there-done-that. There are support groups on the internet and if that’s not to your taste, you can find someone or a group of people around you who are in the same shoes as you and hang out with them from time to time. Being able to meet, have a laugh as well as voice concerns has been the key to successful long-distance support groups. The online communities unite people from around the world for the sole purpose of support and advice based on extensive personal experience.

12.Trust each other
This tip is the most important of all. Since you’re not around, it’s important that you believe your partner isn’t bound to shack up with the maid, or the mailman or anyone else that crosses his/her path.
And of course, expect him/her to have that same level of trust with you. Don’t ask your partner what he/she is doing 24 hours a day, but do instill the fact that you trust him/her. That works better than tracing his/her phone calls any day. With the statistics, it’s bound to be hard to trust but not trusting your partner might be the very thing that ruins the relationship and not the imagined unfaithfulness so take the risk.

13.Don’t let jealousy get the better of you
One of the biggest problems in a long-distance relationship is jealousy. You’re not there with him, so when he starts talking about his friendship with a woman at work, your imagination goes into overdrive. After all, who would stick around for a long-distance relationship when he has a woman right there every day, right? Wrong. Chances are, they really are just friends. Don’t allow your imagination to run away with you. Extreme jealousy and possessiveness are the quickest ways to turn a relationship sour, so don’t let your paranoia and insecurity get the best of you. And if you do start having these feelings of jealousy, talk about them with your significant other. Express your concerns. You may be right, and maybe that woman has ulterior motives that your man just isn’t seeing. Or you may be wrong, and seeing things that aren’t there. Either way, get those feelings out in the open and talk about them. And this goes for the men too as a lot of men are prone to irrational jealousy especially when in a long-distance relationship. If her actions worry you, don’t keep quiet or use it as a license to get even but call her and draw attention to it in a voice that is neither accusing nor threatening because in most cases your assumptions may be wrong.Really listen to the other person, and try to work through the problem. Sometimes this can lead to an argument or hurt feelings, and that’s ok, as long as it’s handled properly.

14.Be honest
This is very important. Don’t use the distance as an opportunity to lead a double life or try out plan B or C. Remember that trust at this stage is fragile and any irregularities perceived may greatly injure the trust. When telling eachother about your day don’t leave out relevant bits or tell the other person what he/she wants to hear. Act each day the same way you would if the other person was in town and grant your partner the respect he/she deserves. If he hates you clubbing in a micro-mini dress then don’t do it when he’s across the ocean, someone may just put up pics on facebook!!!

15.Don’t let a disagreement or bad feelings escalate
Sometimes we get so upset that it becomes obvious that nothing will get solved until we take a step back from the situation. That’s ok. But don’t just end the conversation and leave it hanging. If you need some perspective, take it, but the next time you talk to your significant other, try to resolve the situation. If you find that you both have a tendency to say the wrong things, causing arguments to escalate, you may need to set ground rules for arguing. Some basic rules for arguing are not to bring up a past issue or past argument especially if it has been thrashed out before not even if it will help you buttress your point and to avoid all manner of name-calling & comparisons. Remember that winning doesnt make you the bigger person. You are both on the same team.

16. Surprise one another
Every now and then, send a random gift for no reason whatsoever. Send a random “I love you because…” email. Send an e-card. Leave a happy message on her answering machine at home to cheer her up when you know she’s having a rough day at work. Take a sick day and surprise him by showing up at his doorstep unannounced (but not at a time that will interfere with his work or other obligations). Little surprises keep the relationship fresh, and help both of you focus on the happy parts of your relationship rather than how much you hate long-distance relationships.

17. Never hesitate to let your loved one know how much you care.
I cannot say this enough. It is so important that you let your love know just how much they mean to you. Whether you get to see them or if you have to tell them over the phone, by e-mail, or through a letter- tell them every chance you get. Nothing keeps love alive more than loving words and kindness.

18. Write down the little things that you want to remember or that are special to you.
Keep several different scrapbooks of little memories that you have with your love. Whether it be pictures, letters, tickets to games and movies you’ve been to, or just little gizmos and gadgets that make you think of him/her. It’s so special to look back on them later on- and of course every memory makes you fall in love all over again.

19.Find several songs that remind you of your loved one, and share them with each other- that way every time you hear the song randomly on the radio, or you play it on your itunes or ipod, you will think of them. This is a
great way to stay connected!

20.Meet halfway! Nothing beats personal time together. If a long distance separates you, consider meeting halfway. Even one weekend together can recharge your relationship. If you are separated by a journey of 4hours, find a place that’s 2hrs from both your homes and book a hotel there. It’d be a cheaper means of meeting up and an opportunity to explore a new place together. You can choose a romantic Bed&breakfast or country inn so you get plenty of privacy.

Long distance relationships may not be the most desirable relationships, but they can work, if you work at them. Communication, honesty, and focusing on the needs of the other will allow your relationship to sustain the distance, and when you are reunited your relationship will be the better for it.

BONUS:After what seems like forever apart, you are now planning what to do when your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend comes to see you. If you keep this advice in mind, you will know how to make
the most out of your weekend visits.

I. Make Plans
You may be thinking that, after all this time apart, all you need is to be together and things will be great. But after awhile, conversations may run a little dry and the both of you will want to do something. Make sure to plan at least one night or day where you can go sightseeing.
If they have never been to your city, show them some of the places that you love to hang out. This will give them more of an insight to who you are, by showing them how you spend your time, and you can bond over shared activities.
If they have already visited you before and you know of a certain places that they have enjoyed in the past, make sure to include those in your itinerary. But, don’t forget to put new places that you have scoped out on the list as well. Show them why you love where you live so much. Maybe they will start to love it too!

II. Let Your Plans Be Flexible
You may be dying to show them the great museum that you found or to take them to the hottest new nightclub but they may have other ideas in mind. This is especially true on their first night with you. Along with not having seen you in awhile and just wanting to talk, they may just simply be tired from their trip. Don’t overload them with a strict schedule of places that they have to go with you.

III. Don’t Expect Too Much Or Too Little
If you get your hopes up for a whirlwind romantic weekend, you may just be disappointed after it’s all over.
No matter what, don’t get hurt if they decline your invite to go somewhere specific. Like any other couple, you will both grow and change over time. Every person does. Just because they are not as fond of the newest abstract artist is not a sign that your love is falling apart. It could simply mean that they do not like the artist.
Above all, don’t look for signs of an impending breakup every time you see them! One less than stellar visit does not mean that you have lost what you had together.
Every couple has bad dates every once in awhile; you may just feel it more because you have less time together than most. You start reading into things to much and you’ll close the book on any other future possibilities
but if, every time you are planning what to do when your boyfriend or girlfriend comes to visit you, you end up feeling less excitement and more dread, it may be time to reexamine your relationship. If, no matter what you do to try and learn how to make the most out of your weekend visits together, you come up empty handed, it’s may be time to plan the next one discussing what’s wrong.

As mentioned before, everyone changes in different ways. It’s just a matter if you are going to grow together or if it may be time to do a little traveling apart.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on July 16, 2010 in Relationships

 

Tags: , , , , , ,