Tag Archives: self-discovery

10 things you need to do before you get married

This is the ultimate bucket list. Daring, fun, unforgettable! Your perfect prelude to kicking the singles bucket!!!

Marriage isn’t the end of all things fun- you spend more of your life married than you do single so why eliminate fun from the equation? But that being said, there are some things you probably shouldn’t do after you are married. They should be hidden in a box labeled fantastic memories for your peeking and reminiscing pleasure but of course that can’t happen if you left them in the secret fantasies box ay?
So here’s Chutzpah’s single bucket list:

1.  Go on a spontaneous adventure. The key words being spontaneity and adventure! A lot of us live well thought out and planned existences, we are where we are supposed to be when we are supposed to be there. While living an ordered existence may make life drama free and progressive, you need to one day look back on your life and chuckle about that one (or more) spontaneous adventure. Mine was during NYSC when two of my girlfriends and I decided to go to Idanre hills out of the blues. Read it here —> Mountain climbing

  1. Live alone: There is no feeling as sublime as living by your own rules, in your own filth and at your own pace without input from another person even if it’s only for a little while. If it’s not already on your bucket list please put it there. It’s the best emancipation you could ever have and you learn about being independent and your own person in ways you never dreamed of. I know most families traditionally want their daughter to marry from their house but there are ways around this. NYSC, masters (in another town or country), a cross-country job, an internship or a volunteer job just remember to move back home a couple of months before you say ‘I do’. There’s a certain mushiness and bond that pervades your family house when you are planning a wedding together plus the fights and unwarranted advice are priceless.

  2. Face at least one of your fears: One day you are gonna have a kid who might be afraid of something and you’d need to give him a talk on facing your fears but if all you’ve ever done is run from them then how brave would you expect your offspring to be? I grew up sheltered and not particularly brave, I was the goody two shoes who always played it safe but I have long since earned my ‘Chutzpah’ badge! From riding a bike without screaming for dear life—-> Okadas a one way trip to hell to conquering my phobia for driving- now drive interstate like a pro or allowing my friend Ame to convince me to go on those death-defying rides at the park! If you haven’t faced at least one fear you haven’t started living!

  3. Love your body- what’s the bucket list challenge here you may be wondering? Well if you have never worn a bikini at the pool or a bodycon dress without strapping yourself into a corset or spandex first then you can’t cross this off your list yet! No matter how many flaws you think you have now, you will look back in a couple of years and actually wish you had the body you have now. So rock it babe! Be proud of who you are. Statistics have shown that men are more attracted to confidence than to perfection. Don’t become that woman who can’t have a makeup free day or who is totally lost without a bum-pad, padded boobs and a waist cincher. Have some self-love bae, don’t be that wife who would only have sex with the lights off!!! No one can love you unless you love yourself. And if you feel gaining or losing a few pounds will do the trick, then do it now. There’s no time like the present.

  4. Fall in love, Hollywood style: You know the script, the one that makes you feel so good after watching the movie. The one that has the heroine fall for a man she thought was totally wrong for her or totally out of her league. He doesn’t have to be the one but nothing says I totally enjoyed the life of my head like having those kinda memories and I am talking the whole works here- butterflies, heady kisses, late night rendezvous, midnight calls, big fights and even better makeups. The guy who becomes your greatest love story. Every grandma has a story like that and her face lights up as she tells it and then softens when she says and then I met your grandpa… #epic

  5. Do your own thing—> achieve something just for you! Don’t let all your accomplishments in life be from the day you became Mrs Somebody! Before you get married, finish up your degree, achieve a career milestone or do something on that secret list you have. Something awesome that you can always feel good about…Before your father met me, I had started my own business…

  6. Travel somewhere with your girlfriends or sisters. Somewhere far, somewhere new and somewhere exciting. It could be a road trip or you could fly there but make sure you are seated together. The memories, the conversations, the adventure, the summer flings and the pictures will last a lifetime plus it’s not a guarantee that you’d have the opportunity to make such a trip after you get married.

  7. Treat yourself: Splurge on yourself without apology. So many people are cautious about their spending habits and never get to just buy that one unnecessary thing that would make their life perfect LOL. You need to indulge at least once before you get married because once you are married finances are a joint discussion and you might not have the chance to treat yourself without apology. Life is too short to never have thoroughly enjoyed yourself even for a minute without worrying about the bills or the deficit the expense will create.

  8. Tell that one truth: Do not get married if you never got the chance to tell your crush or your ‘best friend’ how you really feel about him. Don’t get married with baggage. Set yourself free. Tell that one truth, that truth you swore you’d be buried with because it was too embarrassing to share. You’d be surprised at the outcome and even if your crush doesn’t admit to have secretly been loving you back all this time at least you can proudly strike it off your bucket list and laugh about it later.

  9. Get to know yourself—> do not wait for marriage to define you or to be your sole identity. It irks me when I see married women who would literally cease to exist if they stopped being Mrs Somebody. That shouldn’t be. You were a person before you met your husband and became his wife and mother of his children! Get to know yourself. Go on a self-discovery trip if you must. Know what you like and what you don’t like, what you can compromise on and what you absolutely can’t, what your strengths are and where your limits lie. Know your personality type, your temperament and your weaknesses! You can absolutely not get married till you know exactly who you are and creating
    opportunities of self discovery is entirely up to you and your awesome bucket list!

So ladies instead of sitting around waiting for Mr Right to sweep you off your feet, spend the time slaying this single bucket list. Get yourself some CHUTZPAH! And you’ll be surprised and astounded by the
new, more confident you. Self-love is key baybay!


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Posted by on July 2, 2015 in Inspirational


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