When I was 12 years old my perfect picture of love was a tall, dark and handsome stranger saving me from my boring life and whisking me away in his strong arms on his trusty steed (Blame the tons of novels I read).
As a teenager my views changed only slightly. The stranger had to love me ‘forever’ and be as romantic as possible (think candle light dinners and poetry). By the time I turned 20, reality set in and I set aside the quest for the perfect picture of love and instead embraced the picture perfect love that everyone seemed to be so involved with.
Picture perfect love was all I saw, women and men who were obsessed with showing the world how perfect their relationships were; public displays of affection, mushy pictures plastered all over the Internet, loud and expensive gestures of love…
I wanted it so bad!
It seemed that any love without these attributes wasn’t love at all. I would visit my favorite websites and spend long minutes looking at pictures of couples that seemed so in love that they left you longing for love. Nobody told me about what happened behind closed doors; the fights, the abuse, the infidelity, the blatant disrespect. I imagined the couples permanently stuck in love’s tightest embrace behind closed doors, giving each other earfuls of sweet nothings. Relationships which weren’t picture perfect lost all appeal to me and many good men were sacrificed on the altar of love, their only crime being their lack of ‘romance’.
After a couple of heartbreaks and some shocking revelations from friends who had picture perfect love, I reached into the recesses of my mind and found the little place I had saved the longing for the perfect picture of love. I wanted love like the kind depicted in the Notebook, the Bible, Titanic and Romeo and Juliet. I didn’t want to have to die (Naija girls don’t die for love), I just wanted the sort of love that was worth dying for. I searched and researched and prayed and experimented and one day I got the formula for my perfect description of love-1 Corinthians 13 vs 4-13.
No matter what love scenarios I am presented with (be it real life or at the movies), they can all be put into one or all of the boxes presented in this chapter. My perfect picture of love is not perfect at all. For love and perfection seem to be at tangents- after all the very humans that define this love are imperfect creatures. I can’t guarantee that the perfect picture of love will not make you cry; for love is about sacrifice and patience. I cannot guarantee that the perfect picture of love will not grate on your very last nerve; for love is about endurance and forgiveness but I will tell you that love is greater than hope and greater than faith and it never fails.
I was supposed to write about my perfect picture of love, well I am living it each and every day with my imperfect husband who loves me the very best way he knows how to. Every individual has a different love story to tell with it’s very own upsides and downsides and if that love is true, if it stands the wind and the fire and the rain and the roses and the calm then I raise a glass to toast that love for it is the perfect picture of love…
Shay asked me to write this so of course I am dedicating it to her! You rock babe! You can read it and some of her amazing posts here!
Have a lovely evening Chutzpah fam!
February is the month of love so more mushiness awaits, hehehe!