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Time Doesn’t Heal Wrong

Time Doesn’t Heal Wrong

When Bishop David Oyedepo said these words during Shiloh 2017, a lightbulb went off in my head. Truer words had never been said.

Time heals lots of things…a broken heart, an injured knee, the hurt from your past but as awesome as time is, it doesn’t heal wrong. Love may cover wrong but only RIGHT heals wrong!

Are you currently working a job you have no business doing simply because you want to make ends meet? No matter how long a writer paints, unless he has a gift for both expressions of art, his destiny would remain untapped and unfulfilled till he retraces his steps. Yes I do believe in destiny.

A man who kills another man doesn’t become less guilty because twenty years have passed and his crime is still undetected nor a side chick who pushed another woman out of her home.

As long as we walk the wrong path, our comeuppance awaits us regardless of how slowly the clock is ticking. Many people have been sidelined because they went off track and felt too much time had passed and a whole lot of water under the bridge and it was just too late to get back on track.

This principle applies to all aspects of life- your career, your relationship, your marriage, your life decisions etc. It’s never too late to steer yourself back to the right path. It’s the only path to fulfilment but it takes courage to admit that you are on the wrong path and more courage to take a step in the right direction. Only the right direction leads to the path of greatness and self-fulfilment so get going now, even if you are already old and grey.

Be brave!

Have a great Sunday Chutzpah fam,

Xoxo

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Posted by on December 10, 2017 in Inspirational

 

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For Ronie; There’s always a reason to smile…Part 1

It’s countdown time!!! 59hours and 30minutes till the new year and yes 2013 is gonna be a remarkable year. (I promise on God’s authority)
You may have had it pretty rough in 2012 (who didn’t?) and you’ve gotten used to that plastic smile that’s necessary to exist in polite society but deep down the oomph is gone and it’s such a great effort to keep your shoulders from sagging as you remember the hopes and dreams and get rich schemes you thought 2012 would usher in. Well most of us have had the good and the bad but I want you to know there’s always a reason to smile. And smiling is the first step, once that goofy crack lights up your face, it infects you faster than the ebola virus and soon a heart of gratitude and mirth overwhelms your entire being making you forgetful of your worries and eager to try again. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚

2012 was gangster, no doubt. Even the Mayans couldn’t see past 2012 but guess what? The calendar don finish oh! The Mayans couldn’t write the story after page 21122012 so you get to be author now and decide just how awesome your life is gonna be. I know the government made life harder in a bid to make life easier with the subsidy removal and increased taxes and all others but only the living worry about that right? People died and died and died this year! From the victims of Boko Haram, to Aluu 4, to the Connecticut massacre, to all the road traffic accidents, to the Dana crash and other air crashes and all the disasters, floods and deaths in-between (RIP). Good people died, good people were injured, good people lost their homes and families, good people got diagnosed with cancer. Good girls didn’t get married and good guys didn’t hammer so yea what’s so great about this year? A lot actually. And are you wondering why I said ‘good people’? Well I can’t be blogging about bad people, it’s bad enough that God causes the rain and dough to fall on the good and the bad (Merciful as He is) but I’m only human and I’m gonna focus on good people, those who tried really hard to earn an honest income, to support their families, were responsible, didn’t drink and drive, obeyed rules and didn’t deliberately hurt anyone. These fantastic minority are a light in this dark world and many of them had it pretty rough this year. Bills piling up and other unfortunate events and like me they are looking at their bank statement and wondering if being good even pays…

I’m gonna give you 20 secrets to re-writing 2013. Why re-write a year that hasn’t been lived? Well seriously can you do the same thing every year and expect to get different results? E-x-a-c-t-l-y! So for some of us, new year resolutions or no, we are already sure 2013 is gonna be pretty much the same as any other year we’ve lived! Same old job, same old partner, same old house, same old you but really it isn’t same old you. Compare your pictures from last year to this one. I know pouting is the new fad but is it just me or is your smile a tad dimmer, are your eyes a l’il heavier? Is your countenance just a l’il duller? The world is losing its oomph as problems surge and as natural highs become somewhat extinct, people desperately seek the high that comes from excesses that give transient pleasure. I said 20 right? I have no idea how I’m gonna get through it without sounding clichรฉ but I’ll keep it simple and hope that at least one will stick, sink and transform and make you a better you for a better year!

Here goes…
1) Be thankful. Every time you hear someone dies or something dreadful happens to someone other than you, say thank you Lord I am alive and well. Your world is like a hot air balloon. Complains are cold air and gratitude is air at just the right temperature. Till you start saying ‘Thank you’ you will not get the uplifting you need for the new year and you’ll be stuck in a rot. You are not better than the person who has all those troubles or a trouble more than you and it’s reason enough to say thank you!

2) Smile! It prevents wrinkles, it makes you finer and more approachable, it looks great in pictures and it’s infectious!

3) Kill the thief of times past- Procrastination! What you have to do, do quick! Don’t wait till a mole becomes a mountain or till your workload becomes a query! There’s no better time than the present. Dump the excuses, ‘I have a business plan but I don’t have the resources yet, ask Dangote, Zuckerberg, Gates et al how much they had when they started their companies! Where there’s a will, there’s a way…where’s your will?’. The clock is ticking!

4) Get a hobby! You don’t have to do something clichรฉ like writing, painting etc You can be a 21st century, 2013 hobby-creator! You like playing video games? Enter an online video game challenge or arcade! (Google is your friend). You spend hours on twitter? Consider using your twit-influence to raise awareness about a good cause started by you! Slum2school was started by one boy-Otto Orondaam and he has impacted the lives of hundreds of less fortunate children and gotten awards and recognition! Be a hobbit! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Your hobby could take you places!

5) Compliment one person everyday. My pastor, Reverend Ben always says no one cares about how much you know till they know how much you care. Have you ever done or worn something remarkable and no one even noticed? It sucks. Open your eyes to the people around you. Taking a moment to compliment someone can lead to you learning things you never did plus you get to make someone smile and remember compliments beget compliments!

6) Give to the poor! Forget jazz, forget robbers, forget lazy pretend-beggers! Give to someone less fortunate than you. It releases endorphins in you and makes the world a better place and remember- givers never lack!

7) Run from impulse buying! ‘Sales! Sales!! Sales!!!’ Is not a friendly sign! Run. That sign makes you buy what you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people who don’t give a f**k about you and even when they notice you, all their tryna do is be better than you! Don’t live above your means. Don’t clutter your house in the new year with worthless items that were ‘on sale’!

8) Get a savings account WITHOUT an ATM card! No point saving for the short term and that’s exactly what you’ll be doing if you have immediate access to your money via an ATM card on a whim! That’s like transient delay of gratification! If you aren’t already, aim to be a millionaire this year. If you can’t aim for a million, aim to save at least 10-20% of your monthly income. See your savings account grow and you’ll be surprised how exhilarated you’ll feel every time you look at your bank statement. Not to mention the bulk money comes in handy.

9) Join a new group- real or virtual. Stuck with the same old friends and acquaintances? Expand your horizon. Ditch the frenemies, bond with friends and make new ones. You’ll be surprised what open doors and new experiences bringing new people into your life presents.

10) Get a journal. Famous people sell their journals for millions at the peak of their lives. Trust me, if you wait till you are old or till a publisher is ready to pay you to remember all your favourite past times, memories, ideas, experiences or just tell a story of your life including all the funny titbits and goofy moments, you’ll be quite dismayed that your brain awesome as it is, is very unable to dig up memories that have been locked up in its recesses. Write it all down now, one day the world may just be dying to live life through your eyes! Plus it makes a pretty good memorabilia!
……….To be continued………..

This post is dedicated to Ronie who says my blog makes her smile. There’s always a reason to smile and as long as you are alive, you can close your eyes, snap your fingers and start over! God gives us as many chances as we need!

Compliments of the season chutzpah fam…xoxoxo

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2012 in Inspirational

 

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Out with the old, in with the new…2012…Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s a new day, a new month, a new dawn, new opportunities to seize, a chance to make amends, a time to move forward, a time to go back to the drawing board and make a fool-proof plan, a time to be thankful but not a time for new year resolutions! Common it’s 2012, the most anticipated year in the Hollywood box office! ๐Ÿ˜‰ The most prophesied about year, heck there may not even be a 2013! You don’t need a bunch of clichรฉ resolutions that give you a pseudo sense of purpose only for the period it takes for your brain to find a box in its attic to throw them into till the next year! I say out with the old, in with the new. We don’t need resolutions, enough resolving already. Only a mad man does the same thing every time and expects a different result. My dear friends what we need is a REVOLUTION!

Wikipedia says the word revolution is from the Latin revolutio which means “a turn around” and is defined as a fundamental change in power or organizational structures that takes place in a relatively short period of time.
Aristotle described two types of political revolution:
1. Complete change from one constitution to another
2. Modification of an existing constitution.
Revolutions have occurred through human history and vary widely in terms of methods, duration, and motivating ideology. Their results include major changes in culture, economy, and socio-political institutions.

Charity begins at home so let’s start with a personal revolution.
Does your constitution need an overhaul? Do you need it modified or you need a total makeover? Maybe it’s high time you traded in your beetle for a bentley and you know I ain’t talking about cars. Here are some purposeful steps to a REVOLUTION in 2012!

Step 1 would be a full self- appraisal. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you need to drop a few pounds? Do you need to change that one-nation hairstyle? Do you need to start using deodorant? Do you need to throw out your old clothes? Do you need to seek medical help for that ailment you’ve been trying hard to wish away? Do you need to take a long hard look at yourself and say ‘Hey this is me! I can’t change my big nose or buck teeth but as long as my chest rises and falls in respiration, I can be great and I won’t stop trying till I get what I want…’ Yeah, you get my drift but that’s not all…

For step 2 you’ll need to step away from the mirror and get a pen and paper and draw 2 columns and label them strengths and weaknesses. If you are narcissistic by nature you may need to get a friend with clear eyes to help you. Think of all the things your haters spat at you and the stuff your friends and family complain about. We all know our strengths cos we are proud of them but it takes a certain wisdom to admit to a weakness. Remember that though the bad stuff people say about you is not necessarily true, often times there is an atom of truth in it. You can spot a lie against you, so sift through the dirt and find what exactly hurt the most, most times it’s the truth!

For step 3, paper still in hand, describe the greatest man or woman you could ever dream of being. You could choose to be President of Nigeria, it’s your dream and it ain’t nobody’s business. In fact the more they laugh at you, the more they ginger the powers that be to force you towards greatness. Dream very very big! If your dream looks unattainable because of finances or a lack of the required academic qualifications, write down all the steps you’ll need to get there. For example, getting a masters or saving some cash and so on.

Step 4: Go back to your weaknesses and then write each one under the space where you described the influential person you want to be some day. Now imagine if your weaknesses were procrastination, excess alcohol and a temper and you hoped to be president one day. You may end up as a cross between Baba Sege and GEJ and worse cos you’d also have a drinking problem. You’d put off tackling Boko Haram till a ‘later’ day and you’d get angry if anyone opposed you and then go home to a case of champagne. Same you that spends a good part of every day bashing presidents. You can wake up now… ๐Ÿ˜‰

Basically weaknesses are not such a big deal till you extrapolate them and include greatness in the algorithm. Some weaknesses are anti-greatness and if a fellow is smart he gets rid of them like a plague but for most of us, our weaknesses can be excused as they seem not that bad and not so worrisome in the scheme of their lives and we feel pious on the first of every year making long lists of things to change without even convincing ourselves why a change is necessary and how feasible it is. Revolutions are not born out of haste, resolutions are. This year I refused to call any of my plans resolutions lest I jinx ’em.

This 2012, love like you have never loved before.
Here are 12 ways to love your neighbours, fellow Nigerians and friends, even your enemies and they are excerpts from the first book of Corinthians, kinda makes you consider this thing called love!

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. Fancy words huh? Let me make it plain. If you like, write poetry or the longest blackberry messages ever, or give a speech so long your throat gets dry and you can even give the speech in flawless French but if the people you are talking to do not feel the sincerity of your words or the love emanating from them then you might as well be making a bunch of noise or exhibiting ‘free madness’. (Government officials take note!). So this year, remember that talk is cheap and before you give us 21 reasons why we shouldn’t have a fuel subsidy anymore, remember the thousands who are gonna bite the dust of poverty a lot harder after you impose your will!
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. Holier than thou sisters and brothers who use religion as an excuse to be mean and discriminatory take note! And yes I am referring to Christians, Muslims and all in between!
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I GIVE MY BODY TO BE BURNED, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing. Ermmm Boko Haram take note!

…And this is what love should be…
4 Love endures
5 Love is kind
6 Love doesn’t envy
7 Love is not boastful or puffed up.
8 Love does not behave itself unseemly and doesn’t seek to have its own way.
9 Love is not easily provoked
10 Love thinks no evil and doesn’t rejoice in evil, but rejoices in the truth;
11 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
12 Love never fails.

This year let’s choose love over war, tolerance over anarchy, kindness over cruelty, peace over chaos and maybe we won’t have to walk around afraid that we are gonna be blown sky high by some faceless home-based terrorists.

Just getting home from church and the anti-bomb squad at my church was one in town! They left only one accessible entry/exit to the church premises and checked our cars- boots, under it, in it, over it for bombs with sophisticated gadgets then we were frisked like we were under arrest before being allowed to enter the church, ’twas quite exciting I tell you! ๐Ÿ˜‰ And then there was a whole bunch of saintly vigilantes with torches on the look out all night! Thanks Bishop! Una do well! ๐Ÿ™‚

I long for a Nigeria in 2012 where fuel subsidies are in place like the good old days, where Boko Haram magically disappears and people can walk around without fear, where GEJ shows us that he has got the spunk and wisdom of a true Niger Delta man and where PHCN behaves. Afraid to ask for more since Santa isn’t taking requests till the end of the year. Never stop praying for Nigeria, she’s all we’ve got.

Happy new year again peeps.
Love you plenty. Have a lovely first date with your hot new girl. 2012 is eager to please so let’s take advantage…xoxoxo ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2012 in Inspirational

 

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Gay Nigeria?

The first time the average un-molested Nigerian is confronted with homosexuality is in secondary school at an age where gender confusion is common and sexual orientation may be blurred. Their only ammunition being what’s been taught on the pulpit by their spiritual leaders or the feelings of shame that accompany any expression of sexuality at that age. For many, experimentation is the driving force. It is usually outgrown, but for the few who don’t ‘outgrow’ a love for the same sex, they are faced with inner conflict, shame, religious crisis and a stigma even worse than the HIV virus.

I remember hearing about two Nollywood movies where homosexuality was the main theme and the general reaction to them was comical. The stars were bashed thoroughly and guys threatened to beat up one of the actors especially, for ‘enjoying’ his role a bit too much. Without doubt, Nigerians are homophobic!

Over the years I have read many stories. From the Nigerian boy in Germany who took a husband, to the few oddballs speaking up for gay rights in Nigeria who have been terrorised, some needing to seek refuge outside the shores of Nigeria, to the weekly City people gossip on what top-shot is gay or not in our society. Nigerians have embraced every part of the Western civilisation but deep down have crowned themselves better than the rest of the world since they have continuously resisted homosexuality. Does that truly make us better?

I’m not sure what the Islamic laws on homosexuality are but the Christians leave no question about it! Our God frowns at homosexuality. He sees it as despicable. If He came down to earth, He would first rain fire down on all the gay people and then the terrorists and probably the corrupt politicians stealing Nigeria’s money and then perhaps, if there was still some fire left, He would then throw a little spark at every other sinner in the world but really is that how He operates?

The bible says in James 2:10-11 ‘For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. For he who said, โ€œDo not commit adultery,โ€ also said, โ€œDo not murder.โ€If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker…’
Why do people decide to isolate one sin and judge it with such hatred when for the most part every time that sin is brought up in the bible it is listed amongst an array of others ranging from fornication and pride to drunkenness and witchcraft? Yes, our religious sensibilities are insulted by the thought of homosexuality but have we ever stopped to wonder about the excuse it affords us to be cruel to another human being? Do we ever ask ourselves what would Jesus do if he walked amongst us? Surely he must have met some homosexuals in his time since the sin is as old as the city of Sodom, dating long before Christ was born.

The story of the adulterous woman is worthy of note. In John 8:7b Jesus said: ‘Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her’. In verse 11, He said neither do I condemn you… He never held back showing love to all those who were outcasts in society. He was accused of dining with sinners, walking with rejects and misfits and basically shunning societal norms but He demonstrated more love to these people than they had ever known. Matthew
7:1 says ‘Judge not that you be not judged’. Verse 3 says ‘Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own?’

For some reason, human beings seek validation by bringing into focus the sins of others. I believe it makes theirs seem a little less awful. As the world has been consumed with ‘righteous anger’ over these people, I sit back and wonder ‘where is the love?’. God hates sin-no doubt, we should too, but didn’t He send his only son to die on the cross for sinners? Would you, holy as you are, let your son die in the place of a criminal even if you knew you had the power to bring him back? I guess not!

Dear friend, who made you ‘the avenger’? When did we become bullies in the school yard who pick on those different from us? Are we any better than the Ku Klux Klan who used extreme violence to achieve their goals of racial segregation?
Homosexuality is not an illness so why the homophobia if you can’t catch it from them? If you fear you may be a target and hence justify being on the offensive, look at the mating ritual, a proposition is made to you, if you are not interested you decline and move on. It ain’t that hard. People have been jailed, brutalised, attacked, vandalised, assaulted, cussed at, shunned, criticised, stigmatised and murdered just because they were different. Why don’t you allow every man the opportunity to face his maker and account for the life he has lived? Why take matters into your own hands?

14 years in jail if you ask me is a bit harsh. Armed robbers walk free, corruption is swept under the carpet. Rape cases are dismissed. This issue is as old as time. As far as I’m concerned, all they were saying was keep being gay in secret, if you rub it in our faces, you go to jail! I’ve heard of stories of people who committed suicide because they couldn’t deny the feelings they had and I know that before these people ‘come out of the closet’, they struggle and struggle with these feelings, trying to suppress, deny, rebuke and reject them, very aware of the effect it would have on their lives. People around them have tried to save them, from prayers to ‘deliverance’ to psychotherapy to shock-therapy to forced marriage to forced sex with the opposite sex but all these people have gotten from the saving is a broken spirit and a scarred soul.

Nigerians have a right to refuse to pass a same sex marriage bill and I’m in support of that, if we condone it who knows what would be next, maybe a bestiality marriage bill may be the next topic, not to say that the two are comparable but becoming a wholly permissive society may not be in our best interest and it is our right to protect the moral standing of the nation and give our children a future not thoroughly exploited by New Age ideas but what is truly in our hearts? Are our hearts filled with trepidation and fear? Is there intense hatred in our hearts? People fear what they do not understand but surely it is not an excuse to be cruel. Jesus asked us to love our neighbours as ourselves. He didn’t add ‘except they are different from you or sinners!’. The British even threatened to sanction us and I smiled when I read this. We are no longer under their rule, without doubt we still need them but who died and made them king? In Nigeria’s defence and this is from a non-religious angle, we have always been conservative and guided by norms and traditions that the rest of the world would never understand. It is a taboo in our culture, I asked my friend’s grandpa who is ancient and he confirmed that. Commendably, Nigerians are becoming aware that not everything the world sells to us must be bought but isn’t it hypocritical that men love lesbians and have great fantasies of girl on girl action but shudder at any guy on guy action? Isn’t it saddening that men who believe they can cure a lesbian by raping her till she appreciates the supremacy of the male genitalia are allowed to go scot free? I read about some incidences in South africa and they were from a lesbian’s perspective and I shed tears for her because there’s never a reason to rape or assault another human being.

I am not condoning sin as my bible states that it is, but i have had my own personal struggles with other sins and I don’t see how judging or hating or discriminating someone else would atone for my seemingly lesser sins. I am a true Nigerian and it is ingrained in my genetic encoding that this act is taboo but all I’m really trying to say here is that our manner of approach is all wrong. There’s so much hatred and pain in the world already, why add some more to an overflowing cup? Are we speaking the truth in love? No religion gives you an excuse to be cruel to your fellow man. Because you offer a bit of kindness to a man in need doesn’t mean you partake of his sin or lifestyle. Let us be kinder and less judgemental. If your child confessed to be gay would you make it your life’s ambition to ‘cure’ him even if it killed him or would you save yourself the hassle and murder him like Marvin Gaye’s father did in ‘righteous rage’? or would your heart grow cold and cease to love him because of his sexual orientation? Don’t be a Pharisee! Heal the world. Love covers a multitude of sins, what would Jesus do?

For my friend T, who ‘gingered’ me to write on this highly controversial topic. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Have a lovely day peeps…xoxoxo ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2011 in Hall of Fame, Inspirational

 

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