Tag Archives: ebola

Triage Patients to stop the Ebola epidemic; An essential tool for every health worker!


If you are a health worker, hospital administrator or any other staff in a health facility then THIS IS FOR YOU!


Hello Nigerians,

The Ebola virus has become an unwelcome visitor and calculated steps must be taken to curb this epidemic before it escalates. Do not be a victim. As a health worker you are in the fore-front and you need to be armed with this questionnaire to ensure that the patient whose life you are trying to save does not become the very patient responsible for your demise. Hospitals should print out these questionnaires and have them at the front desk. Insist all patients fill them before they are attended to and above all, every health worker should obey universal precautions even if the questionnaire puts the patient in the clear.

Please click on the links below to view and download the questionnaire and spread the word. Thank you!

The BE questionnaire- Instructions

The BE Questionnaire

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Posted by on August 12, 2014 in Health


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World War E!!!


The Ebola outbreak takes the world unawares as the virus which was first reported in West Africa breaks through borders and boundaries. Transmitted from person to person through touch, the whole world becomes one large bucket brigade as the virus passes from country to country hidden in the body of an innocuous passenger with a dark secret. People fear Ebola but they fear the concentration camp worse.

“It’s like an early death sentence…”
A business man who was caught after hiding for several weeks exclaimed. He had been hoping to prove a point when he didn’t catch the virus, alas, the symptoms were unmistakable and he had finally quit running.

A special task force ETF has been empowered to force all suspected contacts of victims into a concentration camp. The concentration camps were initially built to be health facilities for quarantining suspected cases and contacts but as more people got infected, supplies ran low and soon they were just containments, temporary jails for soon to be corpses. Every country had a concentration camp. As Amanpour had remarked; “The world was once called a global village but the same technology that made China one airplane away from the US has aided in the spread of the biggest threat to humanity’s existence ever recorded”.
The US was under attack, countries were desperate for ZMAPP the fabled cure. The US President had released a statement that the serum was not yet ready to be exported as it was still undergoing clinical trials but the world was not buying that. Everybody knew about the much publicized cure of the two American health workers and the Germans and Russians were ready to do about anything to have their hands on it. Even China and the middle east were preparing to attack. The Pentagon had its plate full. Containing the virus and working on the cure was starting to take second place to protecting the people of America from the subtle attacks by other nations who were ready to do anything to lay their hands on that cure.

The President of Nigeria looked at his breakfast plate, a dry taste in his mouth. He had been drinking salt water and bathing in salt water for weeks now and he was dehydrated to say the least. His blood pressure wasn’t doing too good lately and he wasn’t sure if it was as a result of the excess salt in his system or the mounting pressure from the scourge of Ebola. Two of the ministers in his cabinet had died of kidney failure since this salt madness started but who would blame them? Salt and water seemed to be what every Nigerian without the virus swore by. He knew deep down it was doing more harm than good but the Ebola scare made everyone a bit mad.

“Bring me more bitter kola”, He roared.

Bitter Kola had become black gold since the unsubstantiated claims by that Iwu man. He hated the thing, much preferred Alcohol but like his aide had pointed out, a dead president would only make his enemies rejoice but really who was rejoicing now? He was afraid to admit he missed the days of Boko Haram. Now humanity was united against a common enemy, a biological threat that conspirators believed the US President was behind. If it wasn’t warfare, why wouldn’t he release the cure? He took a bite of his bitter kola and marked another day on his calendar. He should have traveled for the world summit today but nobody was doing any more traveling since the virus broke loose. Countries now spontaneously shot down any plane in their airspace and in this time of turmoil, it would be a waste to die from anything but Ebola.

…Another earthquake in China
Hurricane Genevieve kills millions….

The US President called a top secret closed-door meeting. He needed an update and fast. Intelligence reports said Russia was releasing a missile that could wipe out half of America if the serum was not released to the open market.

“These people are mad! Can’t they see there are Americans dying of Ebola? If the serum was so great wouldn’t we save our own?” the Chief of Staff banged the table in exasperation.

“Where are we with the serum modifications?” Mr President asked as calmly as he could muster.

“Sir, it’s a dead-end. The work on the serum has yielded nothing positive.”

“And the two scientists?”

“Still alive and contained but we fear that they are growing stronger by the day. The serum seems to have mutated their DNA to…to…something not quite human”

“So what’s the plan? I say we give the world the bloody serum and let them worry about the side-effects rather than face annihilation.” The head of the CIA had a determination in his voice that made everybody nod unconsciously.

“We can’t do that. Imagine exposing humans to a serum that takes away their very humanity? That would be like creating another race and they would fight us for dominance, survival of the fittest. Humanity is at its weakest right now, I don’t think we could survive that. Almost one-third of the world’s population is infected with Ebola which means we would have one-third of the world’s people mutated”

“But Mr President it would end the outbreak once and for all and then we could contain the mutated people in strongholds while scientists all over the world worked on a cure to change them back. It would save the rest of humanity Sir”.

“In my 4 years as president this is the toughest choice I have ever had to make. Call for a press conference…”

ZMAPP now available! Millions of lives saved…
…Side-effects alarming, CDC cautions governments to keep patients confined in strongholds till an antidote is found.
Ebola eradicated…

The US President is pacing around the Oval Office, not caring about his aides. This can’t be happening…
“Sir we just received a report that the east wing is under attack, we have to go NOW!”

The Nigerian President is riding in his convoy on his way to his country home. It’s so nice to not have to worry about anything else than politics that he has decided that a long car ride with many stop-overs will be just the thing his image and his eyes need. Besides since the shooting down of planes became rampant, his love for flying has gone down to zero. He remembers his private jet gathering dust.

He looks out the window as the convoy stops. It’s just bushes and trees.
“Why are we stopping?”
“Sir there is a man on the road, he looks mad. He is standing in the middle of the road”
“Then get him to move”
“Sir Agent Chuks just tried but the mad man bit his neck, we need to get him to the hospital”
“Oya take one car, also restrain that mad man before he hurts someone else”
“Sir, Agent Akari shot the mad man in the chest but but…”
The car phone went dead.
Mr President looked at the aides beside him.
“What is going on out there?”
There were screams and suddenly four people ran past the car, clothes torn.
“W…was that..?” Mr President couldn’t finish his statement or even believe his eyes.
He had just seen three of his most trusted aides who looked like they were stark raving mad and the fourth person had a bullet hole in his chest. That wasn’t possible.
The driver of his car suddenly pressed the accelerator.
“Chief we have to ditch the convoy, we are under attack.”
The last Mr President saw was his entire convoy biting themselves in the neck and acting all crazy. He felt the gut-wrenching pull of vomitus and clutched his belly. What was happening?


And then Tosin woke up. “Olorun maje, thank God it was only a dream.” His only reality now was to make money and not get Ebola…

What is your reality? Some people are living with HIV, Cancer or some other life-threatening disease, others are constantly afraid of terrorist attacks or mourning the loss of a dear one. Yet others prepare for a hurricane about to hit or try to recover from a massive earthquake. What is your reality? Is it the Ebola virus, or poverty or fear of Boko Haram or maybe something worse? Remember that your destiny is in your hands. Here are 5 very important survival tips:

  1. #StopEbola. Wash your hands, protect yourself. Do not send useless broadcasts that are neither scientific nor spiritual. Decide not to spread fear or killer practices. Confirm every piece of information before passing it on knowing that not everyone is as knowledgeable as you are and some are easily persuaded
  2. Pray and think positive thoughts. Asking God to take control of a difficult situation brings calm and solutions. There is nothing God cannot do. Having faith doesn’t mean you won’t take proper precautions please. Remember that it is the same God who gives man knowledge and ideas about preserving our own humanity.
  3. Be thankful. Appreciate the people around you and the people who care about you. Be thankful that you are even alive right now and not in harm’s way. And call those you care about from time to time to educate them and see how they are doing.
  4. #Bringbackourgirls- more than a hundred days later, they must never think they have been forgotten, our prayers are with them. Do something worthwhile. Join a cause worth fighting for. No one prays to die early but if you were ever gonna die before your time then you should be remembered for something awesome!
  5. Watch the news. Less social media, more international awareness. And while you are at it, read the book of Revelations again.

Stay safe Chutzpah fam,




Posted by on August 8, 2014 in Health


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EBOLA VIRUS- The Serial Killer Gets Shipped To Lagos!

EBOLA VIRUS- The Serial Killer Gets Shipped To Lagos!



His name was Patrick Sawyer, a Liberian who died yesterday in Lagos from a suspected case of the newest epidemic- Ebola. May his soul R.I.P.

Ebola is a virus which causes the Ebola Virus Disease or Ebola Hemorrhagic fever; the symptoms of the disease include fever, sore throat, muscle pains, headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea along with decreased functioning of the liver and kidneys and as the disease progresses, the affected person begins to bleed from any or all of the following – mouth, nose, ears, eyes, skin, internal bleeding, prolonged bleeding from wounds etc. Death inevitably occurs in about a week, as there is no known vaccination or cure at present.

Can you catch Ebola?

Yes! A person can get Ebola by eating contaminated bush meat or touching a contaminated corpse or coming in contact with contaminated blood or body fluids of an infected animal such as a monkey or fruit bat (farmers and hunters beware) and even pigs but that isn’t why we are all worried after all how many average Nigerians get to do any of these things.


–          If you touch a person who has Ebola virus, you will be at risk. (Think about the health workers who treated the Liberian man and initially didn’t know he was infected and then think of all the other people they could have touched- in the hospital, at home, in the bus etc.) THANKFULLY, DOCTORS OBEY UNIVERSAL PRECAUTIONS and wash their hands after seeing a patient. The question is, do you?

–          Men who survive an infection with Ebola (yes, a few people do survive, the disease kills 50-90% of infected victims) may be able to transmit the disease sexually for nearly two months. GIRLFRIENDS, WIVES and SIDECHICKS BEWARE!

Ok so now you see the magnitude of the problem. The dude who shook your hand could have Ebola. The lady who touched you may be infected. The caretaker trying to get that body to the morgue may be joining him soon and the doctors, nurses and the other members of the health team are very much at risk. The brave doctor who was spearheading the Ebola epidemic in Sierra Leone has been infected by the virus and his predecessor died of Lassa fever (Ebola’s brother). If you felt the Nigerian doctors were being greedy by asking for a meaningful hazard allowance, think again. The money won’t stave off death but at least it would show the risk they were taking was duly compensated!

So how can you prevent catching the disease and how can you help curb the epidemic?

  1. Wash your hands with soap and water and if you can help it carry an alcohol-based hand sanitizer in your bag so that every time you touch an individual, you disinfect your hands.
  2. Forget about bush meat right now. Do not visit joints that offer exotic meat. Yes I know it tastes great with palm wine but dead men don’t drink remember? (Libation doesn’t count!)
  3. If you suspect your neighbor has Ebola or even your family or friends, do not take them to a chemist, please take them straight to a teaching hospital AND DO NOT TOUCH THEM OR THEIR BLOOD, FAECES, URINE, TEARS, SPUTUM OR SWEAT and if you have been in close contact with them, avoid contact with others till you are sure you didn’t catch it.
  4. Health workers please observe UNIVERSAL PRECAUTIONS abeg!!! Avoid contact with blood and body fluids of infected individuals.
  5. Don’t touch the dead body of an infected person.
  6. Do not travel to a place where an Ebola epidemic has broken out (Liberia, Sierra Leone, Guinea, Democratic Republic of Congo and Sudan)
  7. Avoid touching contaminated materials and utensils used by an infected person.
  8. Call 08057886636, 08023169485, 08033086660, 08033065303, 08055281442, 08055329229 to report a case or ask questions.

Ebola virus is highly infectious and contagious and it has no cure. Please stay safe!

Don’t panic, just stay calm and wash your hands, thank God it isn’t air-borne!

Have a lovely night Chutzpah fam,


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Posted by on July 25, 2014 in Health


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