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Accountability Isn’t Chocolate

Accountability Isn’t Chocolate

I have struggled with inordinate affections for chocolate for some time now. Chocolate isn’t good for me. I could write a long list of the reasons why but time and time again I’d smell its tantalizing scent and gaze upon its well chiselled angles and I’d lose my will and resolve.

It got really bad and I had to tell one of my friends about it. Babe out of love still allowed me indulge a little bit yet she’d give her fair share of warnings to fulfil all righteousness.

Chocolate was giving me drama and yet like a parasite I couldn’t shake it off. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t recognize the person on the other side. She had become needy, jumpy, desperate for a sweet treat, tolerating rubbish just for a moment of sweet sublime. I didn’t like her. I didn’t admire her.

Chocolate definitely didn’t deserve such human adoration or reliance so I got myself a confessor. I picked carefully this time. Found a no nonsense health junky who thought chocolate was the devil! He was brutal, blunt and bold. He spelt it out to me in plain English, sucked out the romance and left me with a toothache. I couldn’t fault him because deep down I knew he was telling the truth. I decided to do better, no candy could hold me down. I started my 12 steps out of chocolate addiction. I was determined. Baby steps I said. I saw remarkable improvements in a short time. Alas it made me cocky.

I began to look disrespectfully at the miniature chocolate bars, eyeing them with disdain. Wondering how I ever let them get the best of me. I was wiser, smarter, too amazing for such filth. I pitied the lesser humans who hadn’t been able to shake off chocolate. I imagined my life free of all encumberances and couldn’t wait to be pronounced fully cured…

I bought some chocolate the other day. Naah don’t worry, I’m good. It was for my niece. I chuckled at a chocolate commercial, naah don’t worry I’m good, the commercial was really good. Last night I dreamed of chocolate. Naah don’t worry, it was a lingering memory but today I saw a really nice pic of a chocolate bar. The one that makes you want to prance into a candy store and I put it up for the world to see and gbam!, into my life with much aplomb came my two accountability partners. We are watching you they said. I blushed with embarrassment and tried to make jest of it. Naah don’t worry I’m fine. The joke was lost on them. Not a smile, their shoulders still stiff. You promised you wouldn’t embrace the darkness again they said. I remembered my promise. I didn’t want to embrace the dark, richness that often turned sour in my mouth but then I saw where I was, standing very close to the precipice. I was on the edge and I didn’t even know it. The familiar had crept up on me and almost entrapped my emotions the same way it had before. I hadn’t slain my dragons, I had merely chained them and they had somehow lured me beyond the safety of the chains and into their den. I needed the reminder, I desperately needed the wake up call. I wasn’t cured, I was in remission from an addiction that still lurked in the shadows. I looked at my friends with tears in my eyes, my accountability partners. Not all heroes wear capes…#grateful

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2019 in Inspirational

 

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Recipe for my husband’s birthday cake (by popular demand)

Le boo had his birthday a couple of days ago and I baked him a fabulously decadent cake. I am not a professional baker and my cake making resume doesn’t go further than cupcakes and those home made naked cakes. I certainly had never decorated a cake before but after hubby flat out refused to let me order him a cake I took it upon myself to bake him one because every foodie knows that a birthday is not complete without a birthday cake!

So here’s my recipe for the chocolate and vanilla marble cake.

Recipe:
1. 2 and a 1/2 cups of flour
2. 225g of unsalted butter
3. 1 cup icing sugar
4. 1 cup granulated sugar
5. 2/3 cup milk
6. 4 large eggs
7. 4 teaspoons of vanilla essence
8. 1 teaspoon of salt
9. 2/3 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
10. 4 teaspoons baking powder

For the cream and decoration
1. 1 pack of malteasers
2. 1 pack of M&Ms
3. 1 cup of coconut candy
4. 1 cup of peanuts
5. 4 packs of whipped cream powder chocolate, vanilla and strawberry flavor
6. 1 stick of unsalted butter (200g)
7. 2 cups of icing sugar
8. 1/3rd cup of milk
9. 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
10. Cappuccino wafer stick

Preparation:
1. Preheat oven (most Nigerian ovens come in low, medium and high. I let mine preheat on medium) then grease your cake pan. I used a 9 inch Teflon cake pan. Rub butter on the sides of the pan and lightly dust it with flour.

  1. Get a mixer! They have some pretty affordable ones available in stores and online. Mixing butter and sugar by hand is tiring and for a woman who has to multitask an electronic mixer allows you do other things while it creams. Allow the butter to melt a little at room temperature before putting it in a mixer. I used the K- beater in my Kenwood kitchen machine and set it to medium. Put the butter in first and let it mix till it is fluffy then add the sugar (both granulated and icing sugar) and allow it cream till fluffy.
  2. Break your eggs into a bowl and add the vanilla essence and whisk them together. Add the mixture to the butter and sugar into the mixer.
  3. Sift the flour, baking soda and salt into a bowl and add it to the mixer.
  4. When thoroughly mixed, divide the mix into 2 halves. Leave half in the mixer and add the cocoa powder to the one in the mixer and allow it mix together.
  5. Get your greased cake pan and put in the cake mix from each half spoon by spoon alternating vanilla and chocolate. When it’s all in, get a clean wooden spatula or the handle of a long spoon and draw a Z in the cake mix once or twice to give the cake it’s marble appearance.
  6. Put it in the oven and bake for 45 minutes or until a toothpick put into the middle of the cake comes out clean. Do not open the oven before it’s 45 minutes to prevent your cake from collapsing which might happen if a cold draught gets in.
  7. When the cake is done put it on a cake stand to cool.
  8. Wash your mixing bowl and put in the butter, whipping cream powder, milk, icing sugar and vanilla essence and allow it mix until it forms a thick cream.
  9. Refrigerate the cream for 10-20 minutes.
  10. Put the cake on an elevated stand and scrape off any burnt edges.
  11. Use a spatula to slather cream all over the cake and the sides of the spatula to smoothen the cream so that the thickness is even. Save some of the cream.
  12. Put the cake in the fridge for 5-10 minutes so the cream sets a bit
  13. Get a board and rolling pin and grind the cup of roasted peanuts till they are crushed to very small pieces, set aside.
  14. Take a sharp knife and cut the wafers into two or three pieces to fit the height of the cake.
  15. Divide the M&M’s according to colours
  16. Bring out the cake from the fridge and sprinkle the peanuts at the base of the cake all around
  17. Line the sides of the cake with cappuccino wafers and put an M&M on top of each cylindrical wafers, the cappuccino helps the M&M stick to the wafers.
  18. Pour the coconut candy in the center of the cake and use M&M’s to spell out the birthday message on coconut candy.
  19. Line the top of the cake with M&M’s and malteasers but leave space between the big balls and the little balls.
  20. Get your remaining cream and a piping set and draw a twist out decoration on the base of the cake with the icing, all you need to do is have a straight line of cream and gently twist it so it forms a ring.
  21. Also draw a line of cream with a wider nozzle in between the malteasers and the M&M’s and around the coconut candy.
    And that’s how you make a home-made decadent fabulous cake.

image

For questions and clarifications please drop a comment. Thank you.

Xxx

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2015 in Urban Culture

 

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