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Memoirs of a Naija Wedding Planner!

Memoirs of a Naija Wedding Planner!


Another guest blogger in the house, Uffy’s a rookie at blogging but a don at planning weddings and she is going to be spilling all the secrets and drama that happen behind closed doors prior to the wedding and dishing out advice to soon to be brides! Enjoy… 😉

Why wHY WHY do I love weddings so much???

Maybe it’s the fact that we spend so much time planning this one day event and when everyone gets in the day goes oooh so fast (I must have a 3 day wedding) or is it the tantrums the brides throw before the big day that happen to be all new to them after the wedding day? I had a bride who has of course become a lovely friend, call me at 3am on the wedding morning for assurance that she was doing the right thing!!! 3yrs after I’m certain she has no regrets.

 Then there are the mothers of the bride and groom who constantly use me as their fighting bait with things like “Make sure, MAKE SURE! you don’t feed the groom’s side my small chops” and when the groom’s side complains you hear: “Haba!!! Why didn’t you feed them as I instructed?”.

 Then there is the father of the bride who maybe upset about all the spending he has just done, is mega keen on making church early and takes it out on the bride and her lovely bridesmaids (I’ll personally term that dadzilla). 😉

Dealing with the pushy bridesmaids… sigh…I have done weddings where I almost wanted to chop off the bridesmaids’ eyebrows; the bride could be the calmest person on earth but once there’s a bridesmaid who feels she has an opinion about everything, there is WAR!

In the end weddings are a beautiful affair and the marriage an even better union.

I have been a wedding planner for three years and the gist I have would get your knickers up in a bunch but let me save it for next week! 😉

*Word for today: Start your wedding planning in good time; gives you time to negotiate and pick out superb vendors…

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Posted by on August 1, 2014 in Women


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It’s all for the money $$$- A tale of one Lagos big girl….New beginnings: Part 2 Episode 7

Mamus was angry, she bit her lower lip as she tugged at the dress. It’s too damn small, she seethed. Nothing fit right, it was all so frustrating. She cussed loudly and I was forced to pay attention. I had been doing a great job ignoring the tantrums she had been throwing all morning. I had a lot on my mind and the constant whining of this bridezilla was lost on me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked in my best concerned voice. It wasn’t my fault she had gained a ton of weight in the past few weeks. I had tried to get her to go to the gym but she wouldn’t budge and she had a penchant for size 12 dresses that reminded her of the days when she was a skinny, hot babe.

“Everything’s wrong!” and she burst into tears. This was a bit much really. My intuition told me this wasn’t about the dress. Mamus wasn’t usually such a drama queen.

“What’s the matter hon?”

“It’s Azeez. I feel too old for him and worse still I feel he is only marrying me because he can’t be with the person he wants to be with. I know I sound crazy but I feel this in my guts!”

“Mamus we can’t keep doing this. Marriage is a choice and at your age you do not have to settle. If you don’t think Azeez will make you happy then don’t marry him!”

“I know Toke but it isn’t that easy and to make matters worse I bumped into Gerald last week and he said I had added weight…” Mamus burst into fresh wails and I groaned.

“Please don’t cry, who is Gerald for Pete’s sake and how dare he comment about your weight?” hiss

“Gerald was my husband’s lawyer. I fell in love with him some years after my husband died. He was so supportive but I guess he never saw me as more than a friend. He made that remark because we were always honest with each other and would tease each other mercilessly. He helped me get back on my feet when my husband died and my son sees him as a second father. He doesn’t know how I feel about him…” more sobs.

“How you feel about him or how you felt about him? I thought you loved Azeez?”

“I do love Azeez but the love I feel for him is a gentle, good feeling. Gerald on the other hand gives me butterflies and makes my heart race.”

“I can’t believe I am about to say this seeing as we are at a bridal shop, shopping for your wedding to Azeez but why the hell did you never try to seduce Gerald? Was he unavailable? The way I see it, you could have been married to Gerald ages ago, men rarely have female friends, they just have females who are their friends because it is not proper to make them more at the time.”

Mamus was silent and seemed lost in thought.

“He talked sometimes of his family abroad and when I teased him about his love life he always said he had no time for women so I just assumed that included me and that he probably had a wife he devoted that time to.”

“Never ever assume babe”

“So what do I do now?”

“Make a decision, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. Azeez would not appreciate a second divorce.”

“How did you know about his divorce?”

“Facebook of course!”

“Oh, I should visit these social networks more sha”

That was close! I wondered if Azeez would appreciate me sabotaging his wedding. It wasn’t personal I swear, but if Mamus had a choice not to be married to the man I couldn’t get out of my head, I was definitely going to explore that option with her.

“Mamus you have four months to the wedding. The next two months you are going to spend at the gym getting back in shape. Then the third month you are gonna find Gerald and see if this thing is mutual which gives you one month before D-day to either call off the wedding or focus on it heart, body and soul. I know it’s a gamble and you risk hurting Azeez but you owe it to yourself to get married without shoulda, woulda, couldas!”

“I only have one objection, can I lose the weight in one month instead of two?”

“Sure. But it will take some serious discipline and determination.”

“Right. Thanks Toke. You are really a Godsend”

Just then a text came into my phone.

Heard your husband is out of town, I will be waiting for you when you get home. There are so many things I wanna do to you…hurry back. A

I gasped. Which kain wahala be this one?

“Are you alright dear?”

“Y…yes, Barry just sent me a weird text about stuff happening at his work place, nothing major”

“Ok let’s get out of here, I am starving”

I followed her meekly. A chant on repeat in my head; ‘Get thee behind me Azeez, my marriage is covered with the blood of Jesus’ Chei!!!

…….to be continued……

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Posted by on April 7, 2014 in It's all for the money!, Series


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