Category Archives: Wedding Chronicles

15. Wedding Chronicles: AMAKA…the saga continues

It had been three weeks since the phone call. She had seen him six times and every time she had ensured her makeup and outfit were perfect after all if she was gonna have a surprise engagement party she didn’t wanna be caught unawares. Six times she had been disappointed and the worse part was that Ehis didn’t even seem to notice her long face and pout every time he dropped her off. He seemed to have a lot on his mind. Maybe he was having some trouble taking the plunge and needed her to help him make up his mind.

On Monday she dashed to the market during lunch break and bought ingredients for the banga soup he loved so much. The traffic hadn’t deterred her, she had arrived at his house at 7.30pm, thankfully she had the spare key and a very surprised Ehis had met her pounding yam. On Tuesday, she had personally delivered breakfast to his office with an ‘I love you card’ and had to cook up a rather impressive lie to avoid getting a query from her boss. On Wednesday she had arrived a little later due to the horrid traffic on the island but was thankful that Ehis didn’t get home till after 9pm. She had cleaned his house from top to bottom and made him coconut rice for dinner. On Thursday she’d left work early because her boss was not at the office and she’d seized the opportunity to wash all his clothes and then make dinner.

On friday, Amaka was late for work. Not because she was carrying out her make up his mind plan but because she was so tired. She had gotten home after 11pm every night since Monday despite Ehis’s protests that she not stop by on a work night. She was a woman on a mission and at this point even her job was secondary. Lucky for her, her boss wasn’t on seat although he did catch her dozing at her desk twice that day. That evening she went straight home, changed into something slinky, made sure her hair and make up where on point and then waited. She wanted to time her movement so she arrived at Ehis’s house just as he was heading out to the club with his boys. They’d ask her to join them and she could prove to him that she wouldn’t be one of those wives who stopped being sexy after marriage or lost their groove once he put a ring on it!

Amaka woke up with a start. Everywhere was dark and she seemed to be sprawled on a chair. She felt around for her phone. The blinking red light made it a tad easy to spot. She stared at the time dumbfounded. It was 1.30am. How could she have fallen asleep? Her plan was ruined.
She kicked off her shoes and then started fiddling with her phone. She’d have to make up for this setback tomorrow. She didn’t want Ehis thinking she was inconsistent. She knew just the kind of wife every man wanted and she was determined to be so wifely that Ehis would have no choice but to propose. She’d more than shocked him this past few days yet the conversation always went the same way.

“Hello darling, what a pleasant surprise”

“I was going home from work and it struck me that you had nothing to eat for dinner and I decided to stop by…”

“Awwww you shouldn’t have. Come here…”

And all she’d get was a bloody hug and a peck! She wanted more!!!
On Wednesday he’d said he had something for her and excused himself, her heart had been pounding so hard, only for the man to return with his company’s 2013 diary. Her thank you had been forced but she didn’t think he really noticed. She absolutely refused to give up! She’d heard horror stories of men buying rings and giving it to other women while their long standing girlfriends continued dreaming away oblivious of the new development and she’d also heard of men proposing years after they bought a ring. She had neither the patience nor fortitude to wait that long or leave things to chance. She wanted a 2013 wedding and what Amaka wanted, Amaka got (some of the time!).

On saturday she visited his parents and cooked them a huge pot of soup along with a basket of fruits. She’d been the model daughter-in-law, helping them clean and go on errands despite their insistence that she not stress herself. She knew his mother would call him and she wanted to ensure that when that call was made it would be 100% in her favour. She’d also prepared a list of wifely attributes that a 21st century wife ought to have and she planned to accidentally leave it at his place on Sunday. She perused her list, looking for ways to perfect utter perfection.

Amaka’s 10 commandments
1) A good wife always dresses sexy in the house. No wrappers or hair nets, only bum shorts, slinky dresses, negligees, teddies and never wears panties to sleep πŸ˜‰

2) A good wife wakes up while her husband is still asleep, makes him breakfast, cleans the house then comes to wake him up with some good loving and after he is satisfied, she brings him his breakfast in bed- everyday!

3) A good wife never nags. She always let’s her man have his freedom and never complains if he stays out late or hangs with the boys too often. She never watches African magic and excuses herself when her man is watching football so as not to interrupt him.

4) A good wife gives her Savings ATM card and all her salary to her husband for him to plan the family’s spending. She has absolute trust in his wisdom.

5) A good wife cooks dishes from various countries and tribes for her husband on a regular and can cook better than any mama put or restaurant.

6) A good wife never goes through her husband’s phone, emails, facebook, twitter or anything he considers private and never asks to see his pay check.

7) A good wife keeps her figure and maintains her flat tummy and slim body even after 5 kids.

8) A good wife always shaves every where shave-able and ensures her eyebrows, fingers, toes and hair are well groomed.

9) A good wife prays for her husband and always encourages him and never stresses him out. She also follows him to whatever church he decides to attend.

10) A good wife doesn’t need a house help. She takes care of her home and her kids and in-laws and is also a top executive at work.

Amaka chuckled. After she got the ring, she would realistically look through this list again but for now this was her strategy. Besides she was sure somewhere in the world there was a woman who followed all 10 of these commandments to the letter. She did wanna be the best wife he could ever have and it was just a shame that being herself hadn’t earned her a ring all these years.

She woke up smiling on Sunday morning. She was certain that this was her last Sunday as a single girl. She had decided to skip church since she knew Ehis would be going for evening mass. She would miss Pastor Poju’s message but his last message on faith had her still energised!

“Faith without works is dead so it’s left to me to work that ring out of Ehis’s hand and on to my finger!”

She had dressed up in a lovely but demure outfit and a couple of minutes later, she gave herself a satisfied nod. She was definitely ready…

…Amaka had the distinct feeling that she was being watched. There was a car parked in front of Ehis’s house. It was black and the windows and windscreen where tinted too dark for her to be able to make out if there was anyone in the car.

“Thought the police had banned tinted windows? Hissss. Naija for you!”

Amaka felt a bit uneasy. Ehis rarely entertained visitors on a Sunday morning. He called it his ‘Sabbath’ and used the opportunity to catch up on precious sleep time. As she got to the front door, she realised it was slightly ajar. There were suitcases by the door which was very strange. One looked very much like the one Ehis had bought for his trip to Ghana last year.


As she pushed open the door, she caught sight of a blonde woman in a black dress talking to Ehis and then someone crept up from behind and put a cloth over her mouth.

The last thing she heard was the sound of her own muffled scream!

…To be continued!

Have a great day peeps! Xoxoxo πŸ˜‰

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Posted by on February 6, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


14. Wedding Chronicles: CHINEDU…the saga continues

As Chinedu meandered through Lagos traffic, he felt uneasy again. Three nights in a row he had dreamt of Richard and today he decided it was high time he stopped putting off the visit and actually go see his friend. Once upon a time they had been quite close and he didn’t like to think that the distance he put between he and Richard after that fateful day was what people called stigmatisation. He prayed for Richard everyday. There was nothing God couldn’t do but he felt as a human being and a friend he hadn’t done enough. He’d tried at the beginning but really what did one say to a person who believed all hope was lost? What could he possibly say to make Richard feel better? He had no responses for the numerous questions Richard threw at anyone within earshot and it was pointless telling him all was gonna be well when it was so obvious that all would not be well at least from a human standpoint. Richard had begun to succumb to the disease and had eventually flown abroad for treatment and the relief his absence brought had made Chinedu feel very guilty.

Richard had gotten back a while ago but he hadn’t been able to see him yet and had regretfully turned down his last invitation all those weeks ago. He was super busy at work and really not in the mood for chitchat especially with this Sheila situation. Women could be so unpredictable. He couldn’t fully understand why Sheila was acting up. Agreed he’d messed up their last date but she hadn’t even given him a chance to explain and she’d refused to pick his calls or even see him and after punishing him for a while, she’d called out of the blues at a time when he was out of town. That was the last he had heard of her…

“Why are women so difficult?”

His ringing phone broke into his thoughts and he answered the call with his cautiously, aware that the place was crawling with LASTMA.

“Hey bro, I didn’t know you were taking you car out this afternoon. I have a date…”

“Take the other car, the keys are on the table”

“I don’t want that one, I’m a chick magnet when I drive your range rover…”

Chinedu chuckled! His younger brother could be such a joker. No wonder he’d come back to meet his fuel tank on reserve. He ended the call, promising to be back home in time for his brother’s date.

He felt uneasy again.

He sincerely hoped Richard wouldn’t be home. That way he could leave a message and be gone. Life didn’t prepare you for awkward situations like this one and he still had no idea what words of comfort sounded best to the ears.

He arrived at Richard’s apartment in a couple more minutes and sighed loudly when he saw both his cars parked outside. He braced himself as he climbed up the stairs. He wondered what to say to break the ice. Maybe he should have brought a bottle of wine…

He pressed the doorbell once and waited. He could see the flickering light from the television but nobody came to the door. He pressed the bell again. Still no response.

The feeling of unease returned with such violence that he felt nauseous.

He had a nagging feeling that Richard was in trouble. Heaven forbid that he was in there about to commit suicide. Lucky for him, he remembered that Richard had never dropped his oyinbo mentality and liked to hide his spare key in the flower pot by his door. He hastily moved around the loose earth till the shiny key appeared and opened the door. There were clothes strewn over the couch. Female clothes. He wondered if the unfortunate female was aware of his friend’s HIV status. He couldn’t make up his mind whether to leave or wait in the sitting room, not wanting to barge into his friend’s room. The silence was deafening and suddenly a phone began to ring. The noise made him jump and as he picked it up to kill the sound, his hands began to shake.

The screensaver on the phone was a picture of his Sheila. Bright and smiling. He couldn’t let her do this. He got up in a hurry and barged into the room. Richard was just coming out of the bathroom and Sheila lay on the sheets in a crumpled heap. She looked dead.

“Richard what’s going on?”

“How did you get in??? Oh yeah, the extra key”

Richard laughed.

He didn’t seem himself and Chinedu was worried. What had Sheila gotten herself into? He wanted to slap the grin off Richard’s face so badly but he sensed he needed to stay calm for Sheila’s sake.

“Who’s the babe?”

“Some b*tch I used to know. Probably the one who gave me this f*king disease!”

Chinedu kept telling himself to stay calm.

“I haven’t had sex since before the illness and when I bumped into her, it was an opportunity to catch some fun and of course pay back time!!! But the b*tch was playing hard to get, apparently she seems to have cleaned up her act after leaving me and God knows how many other men- Victims!!!”

“Have you slept with her yet?”

“How am I supposed to if you are here in my room?! Talk about wrong timing! I tried penetrating her twice but she was tight and dry like a bloody virgin”

Richard burst into a crazed laugh!

“Buhahahahahaha, virgin my ass!”

Chinedu considered punching him again. He was starting to breathe really hard.

“Anyway I’d just gone to get some lube from the bathroom when you barged in!”

“Richard I can’t let you do this!”

“Why? What’s it to you? This chick has slept with half of Lagos and is a useless runz girl. Wetin concern you Broooother Chinedu?!”

He drew out the brother with biting sarcasm.

“Richard you’ve obviously had a lot to drink and are not thinking straight. Does anybody actually deserve to go through the hell you’ve been through? What if she really is clean?”

“What do you know about hell?”

Richard screamed menacingly.

“I’ve been abandoned, rejected and on the brink of death more times than I can imagine. I don’t have any friends. Even the so-called Christians abandoned me! And don’t let me even get started on the side-effects of those drugs. I’m finished Chinedu! F-i-ni-shed!!!”

Richard burst into tears and Chinedu winced, his anger dissipating till all he had left were feelings of regret and pity.

He moved closer and held his friend.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t f*cking touch me!” Sob. “Aren’t you afraid of catching the disease. No one who knows will ever want me again. Ever!” Sob sob.

“That’s not true Richie! You are still the same great guy you were back in the days. You’ll pull through this son. I’m just so sorry for not being the friend you needed me to be…”

Richie’s sobs shook his entire body.

“Bro, let’s get Sheila to the hospital and then you and I can talk. I promise to always be there for you…”

“How did you know her name was Sheila? Do you know her? Did you sleep with her too?”

“No Rich, I didn’t sleep with her. We’ll talk later. I only hope it isn’t too late for her…”

“Well, it’s too late for me and I don’t see anyone worrying…”

Richie resumed his sobbing. He seemed so broken and Chinedu kept asking God to take control. He felt a sense of loss.

“God if you make Sheila better, I promise to never let her out of my sight ever again…”

He whispered the prayer with fervour.

Minutes later as he carried Sheila out the door, a very sober Richie trailing behind him, Sheila stirred.

“Please don’t give me HIV please…”

The words were barely audible and tears stung Chinedu’s eyes.

“God please don’t let her get HIV, I’m begging…”

To be continued…

Have a great day folks…xoxoxo πŸ˜‰


Posted by on February 4, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


13. Wedding Chronicles: JIDE…the saga continues

Jide was in a hot mess. How on earth would Tayo understand the events that had led to him setting a wedding date? There was no use explaining. Tayo could never come to terms with the fact that he had a ready made family she knew nothing about. He didn’t think any thing he would say at this point would make any sense. Truly he’d screwed things up real bad.

The silence was deafening.

“Jide since you have nothing more to say, I guess this is good-bye. I wish you all the best…”

Jide stared blindly at the table cloth. He could barely manage a nod. As Tayo walked away from the table he felt like someone had driven a dagger right into his heart.

He called out weakly, but his whisper was drowned by the hustle and bustle around him.

Maybe it was for the best. The sooner he moved on the better. Tayo deserved more. He was only trying to do the right thing. Taking responsibility for his child by marrying the mother was a decision he hadn’t fully come to terms with but he knew what was expected of him. Besides what could a man with a crazy baby mama and a complex broke-ass life hope to offer a woman like her anyway?

“It’s best I move on…”
He sighed.

His phone began to ring and as he picked the call he hissed.

“Nkechi I told you not to call me while I’m at work”

Sob “Jide” Sob

“What’s the problem? Why are you crying?”

“Gideon was knocked down by a car.” Sob. “He ran across the road while I was doing my hair at Mama Shalewa’s salon” Sob.

“F*ck woman, how careless can you be? How bad is he? Where are you?”

“I’m at St. Agnes hospital. They said he needs blood but my blood isn’t compatible with his. Please come now”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes. Stay strong.”

Jide cussed as he made a dash for his car. Could life get any worse? He’d just had his heart ripped out again. He couldn’t bear to lose Gideon after losing Tayo, not on the same day. That woman was so damn careless. He thought of his son and tears stung his eyes.

“God please let him be alright.”

Gideon was the only reason he had risked it all. One look at the innocent child and he was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice. He hadn’t had any reason to question the paternity of the child because one thing Nkechi had boasted of during the years they were a couple was her fidelity and even when she had caught him cheating, she had kept rubbing in his face the fact that she’d never stoop so low or even imagine doing such a thing to him. Nkechi was blessed with the ability to make him feel like sh*t when she chose to and he wondered how a lifetime with her would turn out.

Her mother whom he was equally afraid of had lectured him on how every child deserved to have his two parents bring him up and he did agree that he didn’t want a dysfunctional son. He was yet to work out his issues with Nkechi but he knew they’d sort themselves out. After all once upon a time he had fancied himself in love with her. Love was a choice and he could choose to love Nkechi again.

“If that’s possible…”

Anyway whether possible or not, he had to make the marriage work. No use starting something that was bound to fail besides he knew without doubt that divorcing Nkechi would be the most financially unwise decision he could ever make.

He’d never had any fairytale ideas about marriage. When Ahmed had regaled him with celebrity marriage tales and shared his dreams on how he was gonna spoil his wife and make her the happiest woman on earth he had only smiled and listened patiently. He wanted to be a good husband too and provide for his family but only a man with the kind of money Ahmed had could make such lavish plans, besides there had to be terms and conditions because marrying an evil ex was surely a deal breaker. The only good thing he could see coming out of this was the contract he’d worked so hard to get but this was Nigeria and the contract was not guaranteed till it was sitting pretty in his lap.

Ahmed wasn’t in support of his decision to marry Nkechi. He had given rather convincing examples of men who successfully kept both a baby mama and a wife but they both admitted that it’d be tough. The constant rivalry and discord between the two women was usually enough to drive any man insane especially one who didn’t have polygamy encoded in his DNA. He had stuck with his decision for one reason. All the men in the examples Ahmed had cited had one thing he didn’t have…


He remembered Nkechi’s words as she walked out the door on him that fateful day. His money hadn’t grown significantly since then and there was no way he could support both she and mega rich Tayo on his meagre earnings. He had sensed at some point during his relationship with Tayo that she wasn’t satisfied but he’d preferred to risk being perceived as cheap than to end up broke before his next pay check. Now that he knew that her salary could pay his more than seven times, he knew without doubt that he lacked what it took to support her. As for Nkechi, she already knew him in and out so unless she was gonna give him a gun and order him to rob a politician, she must have already resigned herself to her fate.

Life truly was full of twists and turns. It never went according to plan not even for rich boys like Ahmed so who was he to complain? Ahmed had morphed into a bad boy player after his first serious relationship left him with gonorrhoea and a broken heart. He on the other hand had never really found someone he could dream of spending the rest of his life with till he met Tayo. So much for fairytales. He wondered if there was an evil scribe somewhere writing out the details of the script he had to live. The bastard whoever he was, was really bent on screwing up his life!

He arrived at the hospital in 15 minutes and after some minor delays, was allowed to see his son. Gideon looked to be in bad shape but the doctor said he would pull through as long as they could make up for the blood lost.

45 minutes later he got the shocker of his life.

“I’m sorry sir but we have a little problem, you may want to sit down…”

…To be continued
Have a great night peeps…xoxoxo πŸ˜‰


Posted by on February 2, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


12. Wedding Chronicles: SHEILA…the saga continues

Sheila hated her job! The revelation took her quite by surprise. It seemed that planning other people’s weddings when she didn’t even have a boyfriend much less any hopes of anyone putting a ring on it, had slowly aggravated her to a point where she could hardly stand the whining brides. Her work ethics kept her civil but her manner was brisk. Thankfully her clients saw that as a sign of efficiency after all she always did deliver the grandest, most romantic weddings. She smiled sardonically. Here these women were, complaining about colours and arrangements not fully realising they had something that so many women were begging for.

“Not me though, I beg no one!”

Not even Chinedu. She had come to the conclusion that Chinedu’s recent misdemeanours were as a result of what he’d heard from Soji. She couldn’t blame him. She and Soji had parted on less than amicable terms and he’d sworn to get even. Well karma was a b*tch she admitted wryly. Chinedu had lied that he was away on a business trip yet she kept seeing his car around town. Guess he was too much of a gentleman to outrightly dump her.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. As she fished it out it occurred to her that she had a date with Richard. They’d been seeing quite a lot of each other recently and even though she made it a rule not to hang out with the same guy more than once a week, he was a welcome distraction. He’d been trying to get her into bed for some weeks now but she didn’t think it was a good idea. Richard like Soji, was one of the guys she’d rolled with back in the days, when she was heartbroken and desperate to fill the void with as much sex as she could possibly muster. And of course there had been the gifts. He’d always been her most generous lover but unlike Soji he hadn’t gotten mad when he realised he wasn’t her only lover. Soji’s territorialism had been uncalled for and after she gave him a piece of her mind, he’d done his best to frustrate her in school.

Anyway Richard seemed sent from heaven. He’d been off her radar for a long while and suddenly re-appeared a few weeks ago with renewed fervour. He’d changed but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was about him that was different.

“Hello Richie, how far now?”

“I’m good dear, when are we seeing? I miss you baby and I wanna rock your world if you’ll let me! My place, 6 o’clock?”

“Sorry Richard I can’t. I’ve got work”

“How about Sunday? Baby nobody does me the way you do and it’s been so loooooong…”

Richard finished off with a sulk. She was amazed at the new Richard. The old one allowed her go at her own pace but there was an urgency about these incessant requests that was mind boggling.

“Ok we’ll see on Sunday but no promises!”

“Great, take care babe!”

Sheila hadn’t had sex in a while. It was hard to believe but Chinedu frowned at pre-marital sex which made him all the more intriguing. It was amusing to see him struggling to hold back when they kissed and on some occasions she deliberately tempted him to see just how much he could resist. He was so different from any man she had ever met.

“Thinking about Chinedu won’t do you any good! He turned out to be just like every other d*ck head you’ve ever met!”


Sheila’s week flew by in a flurry of events and on saturday as she stood admiring her decor she afforded herself a smile. Maybe her job wasn’t so bad after all. The bride’s mother had popped in to see the hall and had left beaming from ear to ear. She wondered if she’d ever be a bride or a wife or a mother. Those were dreams she had locked away. She didn’t wanna be like all the pathetic women around her but who was she kidding? She had started to dream again when she met Chinedu…so much for dreams.

“Love don’t live here anymore…”

The next evening as she sat watching Richie she wondered what was going through his mind. They were in his apartment having drinks and making small talk but he’d get an occasional gleam in his eyes every now and then and coupled with the fact that he was topless, she knew he was a man on a mission.

“Can I refill your glass?”

“I usually don’t drink so much Richie. You know that”

“Come on, we are in my house, relax ok!”

The more reason why Sheila couldn’t relax. Her unease was growing and her instincts were on red alert.

“Are you alright Sheila?”

She hadn’t even realised she was nodding off. What was happening?

“W…what is h…a…ppening?”

“You are getting drowsy Sheila, I drugged you!”

Sheila’s eyes widened in terror. What sort of game was Richie playing?


“Like you don’t know!”
Richie replied with a cruel laugh.

“You ruined my life babes! You or one of the other b*tches I slept with. I have HIV! Can you imagine that? H-I-V! And guess what? I’m not going down alone! Someone has to pay! You ruined my life Sheila. You f*cking b*itch!”

Sheila could feel the effects of the drug and struggled to keep her eyes open. She’d never been so terrified. The Richie who was pacing the room shouting like a maniac was not the Richie she knew. God please don’t let him give me HIV she begged silently but why would God even listen to her? She had gotten herself into this mess without God’s help after all.

Richard walked up to her and began to undress her. She couldn’t even struggle. Keeping her eyes open took all the fight in her. She shook her head feebly, begging him with her terrified eyes but every time he looked into her eyes he laughed a cruel laugh. How many other women had fallen victim she wondered?

He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom and the white sheets were the last thing she saw as darkness enveloped her.

…To be continued

Have a great evening peeps! T.G.I.F
Xoxoxo πŸ˜‰


Posted by on February 1, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


11. Wedding Chronicles: TOSIN…the saga continues…

Tosin was sitting on his couch anticipating a knock. If all went according to plan, it would all go down tonight! He had been careful to remove any breakable items from his sitting room, after all if there was gonna be a fight then he wanted to be able to sit down and enjoy it without worrying about his precious collection.

Nnamdi and Hassan had begged to stay and watch but he couldn’t risk it neither did he agree to catch it all on film. This sh*t was private and they’d have to be content with his version of the story over drinks. He smiled a mischievous smile. Nobody messed with Tosin Mcfoy. He’d gotten sick of grovelling after a couple of days and had hatched this plan under duress. He was glad it was paying off. He’d be planning the biggest party of the year soon.

It hadn’t been easy getting everything to fall into place and at times he had considered throwing in the towel but he hadn’t won businessman of the year for nothing. He knew how to save a dying business and one thing his father had taught him was that no move was too ruthless for a winner. Love was a game and it was time to play ball!

The waiting seemed endless. Getting those two women to be in two different places at once had been the most difficult. Both of them insisting on spending his birthday with him but he couldn’t risk that happening. He had counted on the fact that she didn’t read Nigerian magazines and so would not be aware of recent developments. His phone rang. It seemed it’d been ringing all day but that was usual on birthdays. He picked without looking at the screen after all one could only expect a clichΓ© phone call on a day like this.

“Hello mother”

“Happy birthday son. I really wish I could spend it with you. I know you and Aisha are having problems and I didn’t want you to be alone tonight. I know how much you love that girl…”

“I’ll be fine mother. Hanging out with the guys tonight. Aisha and I will sort out our differences. There’s a knock on the door, probably the boys. Gotta go, love you!”

Yes! The anticipated knock. He wondered if the cat fight would begin at the door. He hoped not. He didn’t want his nosy neighbours getting involved and his mother would be sure to hear of such an incident. Reason why he wanted her far, far away from his apartment tonight.

There was no rustle outside his door. Just silence…


He walked over to the mirror and grinned. Yep he was fly, he was fine and he was ready for action.

He unlocked the door and as he opened it, his jaw dropped in amazement.

“Ermm hello Tanto”
He could barely muster a smile as his eyes searched the empty hallway frantically.

“Aren’t you gonna invite me in?” Tanto responded sarcastically.

He stepped aside for her to enter and then closed the door hurriedly.

“Did you see her? I can’t believe she didn’t show up. This wasn’t the plan…”

“Can I pour you a drink? It’s your birthday, relax!”

Tanto looked unperturbed and he suddenly smelt a rat.


“Oh, alright. Darling it’s not my fault that the scaredy cat saw me and fled. I can’t help being so intimidatingly sexy…”

“She fled? Why weren’t you the one to leave? Why did you let her go? Sh*t, sh*t!!!”

“Oh stop it Tosin. The truth is, there’s been a slight change of plans. My publicist says ratings have gone up since our romance went public. Forget that Halima or whatever you call her. Let’s focus on us…”

She walked seductively over to Tosin.

“You and I could be the next Bey and Jay…”

“Will you stop it! I paid good money for your services. WTF is this?”

“I’ll have my publicist refund your money in full. Baby I have feelings for you. I want us to be together…”

“Tanto get the f**k out of my house this was purely business!”

“Purely business? What about the passionate night we spent together? Was that business too? Anyway you should have considered that before you f**ked me. The doctor says I’m pregnant!”

She tossed an envelope at him and Tosin opened it with quivering hands. How could this be? What sort of glitch was this? His life was so messed up right now. Damn! hadn’t he used protection? He couldn’t really remember, he’d been so high that night.

“I can’t deal with this right now!”

He grabbed his shirt and his car keys and walked towards the door.

“I’ll be waiting for you when you get back darling. We can work this out. Happy birthday…”

The door closed with a loud bang. Tosin had never been this infuriated in his life. There was no way in hell that Tanto was keeping that baby. He had hired her to make Aisha jealous. He had gone through great lengths to infiltrate Aisha’s circle and his sources had told him Aisha would be coming over for his birthday. Tanto was supposed to get into a fight with her and then he was supposed to make a great show of being on Aisha’s side which would lead to Tanto dumping him and walking out of the apartment. Tanto hadn’t come cheap! He thought about the millions of naira he’d spent…

“She is going to refund every last penny of my money! B*tch!”

He dialled Nnamdi’s number.

“Hey bro! Goaaaalllllll! Arsenal just scored. How did it go? Celebrations are in order right?”

“No Nnamdi. Tanto chased Aisha away and now she says she is f*cking carrying my baby!”

“Woah woah woah wtf???!!!”

As Tosin reversed out of the parking lot he spotted a car parked some distance away. He knew that car anywhere after all he had hand picked it for her last birthday….

“Nnamdi I’ll call you back…”

He jumped out of his car and walked to the silver Toyota Camry and knocked on the window. His heart lurched as he saw Aisha tears streaming down her face mixed with streaks of mascara.

“Please open the door”

Tosin got in the car and held her hand. He didn’t know what to say. He’d messed up so bad.

“I’m sorry Aisha, I’m so sorry”

Aisha wouldn’t even look at him.
He leaned over and pulled her into his arms and her loud sobs broke his heart.

“I’ve messed up so badly baby. How can I ever make it up to you…?”

To be continued…

Have a lovely day peeps! Xoxoxo πŸ˜‰


Posted by on January 29, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


10. Wedding Chronicles: TAYO…the saga continues…

Tayo couldn’t sleep. She had spent the last two weeks avoiding Jide but that wasn’t as exhausting as running from her thoughts. It wasn’t like Jide had worried her too much anyway. He seemed to have his plate full. She glanced at Aisha sleeping just beside her. Technically Aisha wasn’t the only one to say no to a ring but she wasn’t ready to let any of her friends in on her dilemma till she had brought some kind of organisation to her life.

She still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Philip and Ahmed were the same people!

“If I were president, every individual would only have one name! It’d be the law!”


She remembered sleeping Aisha and lowered her voice. Life could be so complicated at times. One minute she was considering dumping Jide for the handsome stranger at the restaurant and the next she was being introduced to the handsome stranger as the probable best man at the never to happen wedding. She felt played.

Philip had even had the nerve to call her the evening of the proposed date. She had hissed when she saw the number and immediately cut the call. She was too old to be the butt of some private joke between two friends. Maybe Jide even did it to test her. She actually wished she hadn’t given out her number so easily. It had been a while since anyone gave her butterflies and now Jide and his friend were gonna think she was cheap.

There was also the issue of the ring. Wasn’t marriage the whole point of her putting up with Jide in the first place? Hadn’t Ahmed shown her exactly what happened when one picked love or in this case attraction over suitability? Jide wasn’t the man of her dreams but he was the man of her reality and she wasn’t getting any younger. She was starting to think maybe she should just marry him once and for all. Who knows she could learn to love him one day.

She looked at the time, it was 1am. She desperately needed a sounding board and she didn’t wanna burden Aisha with her problems. She thought of calling Sheila but she wasn’t the best person to wake from sleep and her sarcasm however truthful always proved quite hard to swallow. She settled for Amaka since she often complained of insomnia…

“Hi, Amaka, sorry to be calling so late. Hope I didn’t wake you up”

“Not at all. Is Aisha alright? Hope no problem”

“Aisha’s fine but I’m not…”

30 minutes later they were still on the phone. Amaka was a good listener and hadn’t interrupted her except for occasional clarification.

“Tayo are you sure you do not love Jide? If he gave that ring to another girl, how would that make you feel?”

“I’d feel terrible. He’s the only guy I know who’s remotely interested in me.”

“Tayo you are a very attractive woman. You just need to put yourself out there some more. I think you owe Jide an explanation and owe it to yourself to demand one from Ahmed or is it Philip since you obviously can’t get him out of your mind. I just hope he doesn’t end up hurting you because I actually prefer Jide. There’s a simplicity about him that I like.”

“You sound just like my mother joor”

Both girls giggled. They both knew Tayo’s mom was formidable.

“At least he has proposed. I’m still waiting for Ehis to pop the question though my instincts tell me it will be soon.”

“Lucky you, I wish I could marry someone I actually loved.”

“But Tayo, don’t relationship books say it is better to marry someone who loves you than to marry someone you love? Especially when that someone is a guy? You know how men are!”

“But Amaka, he doesn’t treat me the way I want my man to treat me. He doesn’t buy me nice enough things or take me to fancy restaurants. I know he isn’t the richest guy on earth but I know where he works and have an idea of what he earns and I feel he is just cheap! How can a man love me and be so cheap?”

“Hahaha and I’m supposed to be the igbo girl. You sound quite materialistic boo. See maybe he is saving for his future so that one day he can actually give you all the nice things you deserve.”

“I am NOT materialistic. I just don’t want a man who will not be able to step up to my level of success and wealth. If I can buy myself so many nice things, any man who wants to be my ori must be able to do even more ojare!”

“Well you haven’t been totally honest with him about your work either. I’m sure a man would feel the need to impress a big shot MD more than a secretary. LMAO at secretary. Secretary wey go Harvard Business school! That man doesn’t know you at all.”

“So what do you suggest? Cos this whole matter is robbing me of sleep”

“Just be honest with Jide about everything. I actually would have preferred you didn’t meet with Ahmed sha. He sounds like a distraction.”

“But what if he is my prince charming?”

“Would you risk hurting Jide like that? Why exactly did you run out of the restaurant when you saw them side by side? Don’t answer just think about it. Gotta go babes, need to sleep…”

The next day Tayo decided to invite Jide out for lunch. In the two weeks since she’d seen him, she’d bought herself a sleek new car and found a really nice house despite her mother’s objections. She was a bit afraid that Jide would turn her down but he didn’t. They decided to meet at Mega plaza.

“Hi Jide, it’s been a while”

“You look well Tayo. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’ve been very busy.”


Tayo proceeded to tell him everything and it all came pouring out with only momentary pauses to take in some air.

“I’m so sorry Tayo. I feel like this is the first honest conversation we are having. You know I don’t have much and knowing what I know now, I see why you wouldn’t want to marry me…”

“Wait there’s more…”

Tayo told him about Philip. Admittedly she was harder on herself than she should have been but she needed to put everything out in the open.

Jide held her hand.

“I love you Tayo and even though you are the only woman for me, I wasn’t quite honest with myself about the proposal…”

Jide told Tayo about the commissioner and his demands and Tayo smiled. Uncle Afeni was always giving people a hard time.

“Jide I’ll speak to the commissioner for you. He is my uncle.”

“You will? Thank you so much! I’ll forever be in your debt. I would have loved to take our relationship slow babe cos I never ever wanted to lose you…but…”

“But what?”

“I’m getting married this saturday!”


To be continued….

Have a great day peeps…xoxoxo


Posted by on January 29, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


9. Wedding Chronicles: AISHA…the saga continues…

It’d been two weeks since Aisha started ‘Operation Tackle Cheating Tosin’- OTCT like she fondly called it and no other person in the world had ever been more devoted to a mission.
Tosin had killed her battery on several occasions. Stalked her at all her favourite hangouts. Bought her countless gifts and even embarrassed himself at her office. She was certainly enjoying herself.

Dayo had played his role very well and she chuckled when she remembered how Tosin had almost fought Dayo at Auto lounge. If not for the fact that Dayo was 6feet 5 and all muscle, the glares would have turned to fisticuffs. She and Dayo had grown really close over this period and he found it hilarious that she was punishing her cheating boyfriend.

It hadn’t been easy though. She had almost cracked when she’d seen the dazzling engagement ring but she didn’t wanna be one of those wives who were constantly having heart attacks due to their husbands’ infidelity. It was bad enough that for the past two weeks she had been plagued with thoughts of Tosin moving on and some other crazy b**ch taking her place. She really wanted this to work.

“I miss you so much”

“Hey babes, I’m sitting right beside you!”

They both burst out laughing.

“Not you silly, I was thinking out loud.”

“Don’t tell me you miss that cheating b*stard? Babes you are so pathetic!”

Aisha playfully punched Dayo. Dayo was of the opinion that she move on. He had many friends who were more than willing to fill Tosin’s shoes and a simple hook up would do the trick but Aisha was tired of the dating scene. She wanted to be somebody’s wife and look forward to having precious kids and building a home. 2013 was as good as any year to get married and she intended to make it her year.

“But Seriously Aisha, if you want to train your man, staying apart from him for too long might not be the best solution. What if he thinks you are gone for good and moves on?”

“Oh please! Tosin’s lovestruck he ain’t going nowhere. But you are right sha”

“LMAO @lovestruck! Lovestruck men do not cheat remember?”

That got Dayo another punch much harder than the first.


“Ok Tosin’s birthday is next weekend. Maybe I could call a cease fire and do something nice for him.”

“Kai so that’s how fast you are gonna dump me? I was gonna use you to make one of my runz jealous next weekend!”

“Go joor this is serious! You have a million runz just pick a girlfriend already! I swear you are just as bad as Tosin! In fact all men are the same!”

“Hey I take offence to that! I am very different from Tosin. I’m unattached so I can play. Why get a girlfriend and form commitment when you wan still roll like a single guy? Abeg joor!”

Aisha had no response to that. Dayo was right. Her instincts were telling her it was time to ditch rule number 7 on her mission list. She didn’t want Tosin becoming a stranger. She still dreamed of being Mrs Mcfoy but she wanted to be the wife to a faithful man. She decided that she could only do most of the other things on her list if they were together and Tosin’s birthday gave her the perfect opportunity to extend an olive branch of forgiveness and a new beginning…

It was three days to his birthday and Aisha was flipping through City people magazine when she saw something that made her hands quiver;

‘Lagos Big Boy Tosin McFoy esq in hot romance with actress Tanto Chikeh…rumours on impending marriage’

She stared at the pics taken some days before. They looked like a couple alright. She threw the magazine across the room and burst into tears.


30 minutes later, Aisha was still wailing. She dialled Tayo’s number.

“Hello Aisha how are you? It’s been a while.”

“Tayo” sob

“What’s the problem?”

“Tosin” sob

“Did he cheat on you again?”

Sob sob

“Hello Aisha?”

“Ok babes I’m coming over. Let me pack a few things. I’ll crash at yours and go to work from there tomorrow. See you in an hour. Be strong ok?”

Two hours later the two girls sat holding each other on the floor as they listened to Sheila talk. It wasn’t often they had a conference call and work had made their usual hangouts a rarity.

Sheila: “Babes you know I don’t have time for men and their rubbish. Aisha just dump this guy once and for all.”

Aisha: “He thinks we have broken up already” sob sob

Tayo: “Guys she was tryna get him to be faithful and decided to punish him for a while. She put his proposal on hold and even rubbed another man in his face.”

Amaka: “You put his proposal on hold? When some of us are praying for ring! Hian!!!”

Sheila: “Do you expect her to marry a cheating bastard? Not all men are as great as Ehis oh!”

Tayo: “Girls you can argue all you want but I’m the one here consoling a crying Aisha so we need a plan and forget all the advice on letting him go because this girl don spiritually join herself to this bobo.”

They all burst out laughing but Aisha’s wails cut them short.

Sheila: “Aisha I swear this boy don jazz you so now you want to compete with Tanto? No offence but that girl is fierce!”

Tayo: “Sheila you are not helping! That girl has only been with Tosin for a couple of weeks, Aisha has four years in her pocket. Besides I tend not to believe everything I read in these naija magazines”

Amaka: “Why don’t you plan a nice seduction and get him back? Like you said, his birthday is a perfect excuse and you know that man like the back of your hand.”

Sheila: “In that case you need a plan. Cos it won’t be easy to outshine Tanto. She makes men drool and she’s very sexy meanwhile Aisha’s just Aisha.”

Tayo: “Sheila shut up! Whose side are you on sef?”

Aisha: “I will get him back Sheila. He stayed with me even when he was cheating with all those hot girls and I was the one he proposed to not her!”

Sheila: “Babes you know I gats your back any day! In that case, here’s what we are gonna do…”

It was Tosin’s birthday and Aisha stood nervously outside his apartment door. Cake in one hand, bottle of wine in the other. She wasn’t wearing anything under the sexy short dress she had on. Her friends had made sure she was ready for tonight in every way and Tayo had even informed her that she heard from the grapevine that Tanto would be out of town tonight.

As she stretched out her hand to knock on the door. She heard footsteps and turned her head. Her mouth dropped in shock as she saw Tanto dressed in a hot mini dress carrying a cake and a bottle of wine!

“Who d’hell are you?”

To be continued…


Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


8. Wedding Chronicles: EHIS…Amaka’s soon to be fiance (amen)

It had been a good evening. Ehis was stretched out on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV screen but his mind was miles away. Why couldn’t his days be as perfect as this evening was?

He’d been dating Amaka for 6 years and despite her frequent, less than subtle get-him-to-propose moves, it had been a good relationship but he knew life was changing for the both of them soon and he had to savour the peace as best as he could.

Katrina was not to be messed with. She had taken over her husband’s cartel and from what he heard she was even more ruthless than he had been. Her obsession with him had been his lifesaver and now threatened to be his death sentence…

It seemed like yesterday that he had finished secondary school. He had had no hopes of going to the university because his father was quite poor. When uncle Obasuyi had offered to send him to Italy to further his studies, he had jumped at the offer. Nobody told him he’d have to sell drugs on the streets of Italy just to get a morsel of bread. He remembered the fateful day Katrina had come to his rescue…

The police had been trying to bust the drug ring in his area for a while and he’d been very careful cos uncle had warned him that he was on his own if he got caught. On that fateful day, his instincts had told him not to sell drugs to the scruffy looking teenager who walked up to him on the streets. The guy had pleaded and cajoled and used all the right code words and he really hadn’t sold much that day and didn’t want to get uncle mad. As he brought out the white envelope he had been surrounded by policemen and everything became a blur.

He had refused his one phone call at the station remembering uncle’s strict warning and had resigned himself to whatever life he could hope to have behind bars in a foreign land and refusing to think about his mother or sisters lest he burst into tears. When the policemen told him he was free to go and his guardian was waiting outside, he thought they had mistaken him for some other dude. His Bini instincts told him to just take the offer and run. He had no clue who this guardian was but he knew it wasn’t uncle Obasuyi. Maybe God had sent an angel to his rescue…

An angel she was. Katrina was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Her long blonde her was the blondest he had ever seen. Her lips were dripping red and formed a perfect pout. He walked up to her and could barely utter the words ‘thank you’. So awestruck was he that when she asked him to get into the stretch limousine, he had entered without question. That day changed his life forever.

It had been the typical Joseph-Potiphar’s wife story except this time Joseph had not been able to resist the beautiful Katrina. Her husband had taken a liking to him, teaching him all he knew and appointing him as commander over several of his boys including Uncle Obasuyi. He had made many enemies and it was one of these enemies that eventually whispered into Raphael’s ear that his favourite boy was sleeping with his wife. Thankfully Katrina had many loyal spies and he’d been smuggled out of the fort to an undisclosed location long before his boss could lay hands on him.

He had begged Katrina to let him return to Nigeria but she had refused. His papers were with uncle Obasuyi and so he could not sneak out on his own. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Katrina, theirs was a madly passionate and very tumultuous affair but she was married to one of the most powerful drug lords in Italia and he feared what she or her husband could do to him. Raphael was not to be toyed with after all.

It was the recurrent dreams of being tracked down and brutally murdered that caused him to find other ways out of his dilemma. Katrina had never been stingy with money and he increased on his demands. Once he had gathered a nest egg, he found a man who was willing to get him a passport and all the travel documents he needed at a fee and one day while Katrina was at the fort, he had left her a note and returned to Nigeria.

Several years later, the dreams had started again. He was a successful auditor and had a lovely girlfriend and should not have been bothered when CNN reported Raphael’s brutal murder by unknown assailants but that news turned his after dark hours into a living hell and that night the first of the all too familiar dreams paid him a visit. This time Katrina was the one with the gun. He had woken up drenched in sweat and with the acrid taste of terror in his mouth. He tried to rationalise that Nigeria and Italy were worlds apart and that Katrina would have moved on and found herself another love interest. She still was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on but the need for self-preservation was foremost in his mind.

He was used to the dreams now and actually dreaded going to bed at night. He had told his friend Sam about his constant nightmares not giving him the origin or reason behind them and Sam had advised that he needed some security in his life and proposing to Amaka would give him that. For all he knew, Amaka could have been talking to Sam because she’d gone to great lengths to prep him for marriage even getting his parents to worry him but he had decided to take the plunge and make Amaka the mother of his children because he desperately needed a distraction and maybe the flurry of wedding activities would chase away his demons.

He loved Amaka, there was no doubt about it and he knew it was unfair of him to reduce her to a desperate schemer just because he kept holding back. He hadn’t meant to hold back for this long, he already had caught a glimpse of how beautiful marriage to Amaka would be but his instincts kept staying his hand. After Sam’s advice he had decided that there was no better time to propose than on their 6th anniversary.

He had walked into the store, found the ring Amaka was so obsessed about and a pair of earrings he knew she’d love and had just paid for his package when he heard it…


Only one person called him by that name. His hands began to shake…

…To be continued

Have a lovely day peeps…xoxoxo πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰


Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


7. Wedding Chronicles: AMAKA…

“Happy Anniversary baby!”

Amaka’s heart began to pound as she caught sight of the little blue box. Relax Amaka it may not be what you think…

“Oh Ehis, you didn’t have to…”
“Aren’t you gonna open it?”

Maybe he wants you to see the ring before he gets down on one knee!
Aisha opened the box slowly. It had been 6 years since the day she agreed to go out with Ehis and it was about time he gave her a ri-

“Earrings? Fantastic! Thanks boo”
“I knew you’d love them. Know how you love Swarovski crystals”

I’d love a ring even better, moron! Amaka shook her head to dispel the evil voice before it made her say something she’d regret. There’d be enough time to act all disappointed later in the safe confines of her bedroom. She put on a big smile.

“Now it’s time for you to open your present!”
“You got me something too? You shouldn’t have! I have the best girlfriend in the whole world…”

Amaka made it through dinner. She even surprised herself and made it through the light make out session on the couch. When Ehis dropped her off at home she had one thing and one thing only on her mind:


Yes that was her crack! She rummaged through the fridge searching for her brand of weed, already craving the sweetness and numbing cold that came with it. She didn’t even bother with the lights. She’d had enough of bright lights to last her for days.

“Why can’t he just be like other men?”

She asked her empty apartment.

“What else does he want from me?”

She’d met him in her 3rd year in university and now she’d been working for 3 years and she was still waiting for the bloody question.

“Aren’t I good enough to be his wife? Haven’t I been the perfect girlfriend?”

She’d given Ehis everything. Been there for him when he was a struggling student. Shared her pocket money and then allowee with him when he was tryna get his s**t together and now that he had the dream job and the dream house, who told him it was ok to just be the perfect boyfriend?

She remembered all the hints she had given him and all the hints his family and hers kept dropping every chance they got. She was tired of the pressure and even dreaded picking up her mother’s phone calls. She’d been a bridesmaid more times than she could count. Had caught the bouquet at 6 different weddings till she stopped responding to the single women’s call at weddings. Ehis had been beside her 4 of those times and still hadn’t gotten the hint.

Her girlfriends said maybe he wasn’t that into her but when they hung out with she and Ehis and noticed his devotion to her they changed their minds and just asked her to be patient!

“If I’m patient for any longer, I’ll just have to change my name to Patience!”

She rolled her eyes at her attempted humour and then took another big, comforting spoon of ice-cream. Did he know what his nonsense delay was costing her? Every missed opportunity to get down on one knee led to some ice-cream binging in the comfort of her house and the cycle always had her gaining weight and then struggling to squeeze out time to go to the gym so she could burn up the fat. She wasn’t getting any younger and after 6 years, she had to struggle to stay in the game. She didn’t want Ehis thinking she had lost her youth or attractiveness and she definitely didn’t want one small girl turning his head and reaping where she did not sow.

“Lord when will I start reaping my harvest oooooh?” She asked in exasperation.

She dreaded christmas nowadays because it meant travelling to the village and being the only female in her age group that was unmarried. Nnenna and Chidex always seized the opportunity to rub their husbands and children in her face and then her aunties would give her long sermons about why she should forget Ehis and marry a decent man from their village.

“This boy doesn’t know the stress I go through for him!”

She’d turned down all her suitors and even Nnamdi who was the most persistent had of recent reduced his calling frequency. What hadn’t she done to sway Ehis but he had constantly refused to tow the line. She’d gotten their pastor to call him to his office and advice him to settle down. She’d bought him marriage books and videos. Urged him to watch many marriage-oriented movies and had even sent his emails on conquering commitment phobia and if all that wasn’t enough, she’d done some desperado moves too. She frowned as she remembered the two times she’d tried to use pregnancy to make him commit. Both times he seemed to consider it and both times her period had come just as he was gonna say something tangible about the whole settling down matter.

Frankly she was tired. What more could she do? She’d considered breaking up with him but the thought of starting all over with a new man whose plans to marry her where not even guaranteed had her staying put with Ehis without a second thought. She even checked his phones and social network every once in a while and she was convinced there was no other woman. Ehis was just not ready and nothing she had said or done had made him change his mind.

It wasn’t like Ehis was anti-marriage. He was fond of calling her the mother of his children or his ‘iyawo’ but he was the first child and it seemed all he was really concerned about was making money. She needed a plan. She was tired of putting up other people’s fingers as her BBM display pic after they got engaged. Life seemed to be passing her by and the anniversaries she used to look forward to had become sad reminders of the time spent unmarried.

She’d lost count of the marriage seminars she’d attended and the self-help books she’d read. She’d been prayed for and prophesied on countless times and was tired of hearing people say ‘This is your year Amaka. This year we will buy your asoebi!’

She had just finished the icecream when she got a phone call from Tina. Tina worked at the jeweller’s shop at shoprite and they’d become friends after she’d come into the store on three separate occasions to stare wistfully at her dream ring. She’d even brought Ehis into the shop and used style to show him the ring. So that he wouldn’t get her the wrong one and ruin her fantasy. She absolutely hated yellow gold rings but at this point, she’d wear a big old gaudy one if that was gonna bring her the wedding she’d always dreamed of.

“Hello Tina, how you dey? It’s pretty late to be calling. Hope no problem?”

“I wanted to congratulate you today before the news becomes stale na”

“What news?”

“Your engagement! That your man came into the store early this morning and he bought that ring you are always looking at and a pair of earrings too. Congrats oh! Me I must wear aso-ebi aunty”

“Thank you Tina. He hasn’t proposed yet but I will let you know when it’s official…” And with that she had hung up, hands shaking, barely able to breathe.

“Finally!!!” And she smiled a big smile as she closed her eyes and began to daydream about her wedding dress…

To be continued…

Have a lovely Sunday peeps! Xoxoxo πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰


Posted by on January 27, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


6. Wedding Chronicles: CHINEDU…Sheila’s main scoop!

Chinedu was frustrated. He had to be the butt of some cosmic joke cos it seemed the guys upstairs had conspired to make this one of the worst days in his 33 years. First his car had been towed right in front of a client’s office. The client hadn’t even been on seat and to make it even more annoying, there was no one on the quiet street save for a nitwit of a boy who assured him that his car had not been stolen. There were no illegal parking signs to be seen so what was wrong with the people of this country? He sighed…

Two hours later, he had located their yard only to spend another 30 minutes bargaining and had only been allowed to go after wads of his money unwillingly left his hands. It was weekend after all. He had gotten behind the wheel only to discover that his car wouldn’t start. He looked at the fuel gauge and almost passed out in disbelief when he saw the pointer on empty. Those thieving crooks had emptied his fuel. He had been forced to leave his car there while he went to look for fuel, too angry to even fight the men lest things got out of hand.

The closest petrol station for miles around had a queue longer than he could count and he’d had to wait alongside a crowd of other people with empty jerrycans till his turn finally came. As he was speeding back to his car 45 minutes later atop a rather unsteady bike, he remembered his date with Sheila or better put, her phone call jogged his memory. He knew picking his phone on a speeding bike was foolhardy but her ring tone was more insistent than romantic and as he pulled the phone out of his pocket his wallet had fallen out. By the time he got the inebriated okada man to come to a halt, his wallet had disappeared as if by magic. They combed the short stretch of road several times but there was no sign and the people on the road looked unperturbed.

Sheila’s call came in again and then just as he pressed the answer button, the phone had switched off. Typical blackberry. He was so mad. He felt like screaming his head off. Thankfully he had some change in the car to pay the okada man. By the time he finally arrived at the restaurant there was no sign of Sheila and his phone was still dead.

He cursed under his breath. He usually was careful about the words that came out of his mouth but today had been the heights.

“Lord help me please…”

As he drove home, he thought of Sheila. She would be so disappointed but he knew she’d understand as soon as he told her what a horrible day he’d had. He smiled. There was something about her that made him feel so good inside. As he parked his car he caught himself humming the love song playing on the radio. He didn’t believe in the whole butterfly, fireworks concept of love that was peddled everywhere you looked. He believed love was a choice and he had started to feel like he’d made the choice in her favour. He thought of how great she looked last week at the party and how excited he’d been to introduce her to family. The family had been just as excited to meet her too because they’d gotten rather exasperated at the countless, failed matchmaking attempts. He chuckled as he remembered the last girl.

“What’s your plan for the next five years?”

“Well…um…my plan is to get married, have kids and take care of my husband…”

“And what if the husband doesn’t come in the next five years? Do you have a plan B?”

“Olorunmaje why would I still be single at 33? Abeg oh! This is my year!”

He had smiled and the evening had passed in shades of grey. He couldn’t wait for it to be over and declined her seemingly over eager request to spend some more time together.

Why were some women so desperate for marriage he wondered? Why would anyone keep their life on hold in the hopes that the ‘one’ would come galloping into their lives on a white horse. He admired a woman with drive. Admittedly he was set in his ways and believed he’d seen ’em all and dated ’em all but even though he had agreed to have at least one date with any girl he was match made with just so that his folks would quit nagging him to settle, he still hoped to find that woman who wasn’t waiting for a man to make her complete. Maybe that’s why he had been drawn to Sheila. Sheila was her own woman and she’d intrigued him from the moment they met. He had boasted about her to his cousins and not even Soji’s useless talk of Sheila being one of his runz back in school had bothered him. Maybe he had found the next Mrs Obirima but only time would tell. He certainly had some praying to do.

No sooner had he switched on his phone that a text message came in. He hurriedly opened it, hoping it was Sheila but it was from MTN. He hissed. He dialled Sheila’s number but it was busy. Maybe she was trying to call him.

He got a ping and this time he was sure it was Sheila but it turned out to be his home boy Richie.

“Wanna come hangout with me at the club? We could shoot some pool, I haven’t whipped ur ass in a while”

Chinedu was about to decline the offer when it occurred to him that he and Richie hadn’t hung out since the incident. He didn’t want Richie thinking he was stigmatising him since he was the only one that actually knew about that fateful day. The one that changed Richie’s life…

“Guy what does your result say? I’m HIV negative thank goodness! Richie? Are you listening? Richie-”

“Guy I’m finished…”

…To be continued

Have a great day peeps…xoxo πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

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Posted by on January 26, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles