Back breaking clarity!

06 Dec
Back breaking clarity!

Two days ago, I was standing by the open boot of my car in a pair of cute heels, chatting away while absent mindedly lifting and arranging the boxes for the office Christmas party which was the next day. Just then, my village people struck! I twisted my back to an angle so I could lift and push an unruly box to the other side of the trunk when I felt the worst pain of my life and I howled like Tom getting a classic whooping.

I tried to stand up straight and the right part of my back hurt, I saw stars like literally. I walked painfully to the driver’s side and lowered myself gingerly into my seat, taking deep breaths while the sweat which had suddenly appeared threatened to blind me as it gushed down from my forehead in waves.

‘It’s probably a muscle strain or a sprain, take some painkillers and you’ll be fine’.

I nodded feebly as I put the car in reverse and started my homeward bound, very agonizing journey. You know how potholes can be vaguely annoying but quickly ignored when driving? Haa! Try driving with a bad back! It was bad enough that jolts of pain were shooting down my right leg and up my right arm as I stepped on the accelerator or turned the steering wheel to the right but those potholes had me screaming ‘Father Lord’. The pain was blinding and by the time I got home I was almost in tears.

I abandoned the baby girl life, kicked off my heels, managed to drag my handbag out of the car and limped to my bedroom. I have heard stories about lying flat on the floor when you have back pain but the thought of contorting my body enough to lower me to the floor filled me with palpable fear, I picked the bed and lay very still. Soon the pain passed and the sweating reduced and as my breathing became more regular, I picked up my phone with ‘kangaroo hands’ cos maami was afraid to stretch lest the pain returned. I actually thought I was getting better till I felt the insane urge to pee and tried to gingerly get up only to be rudely reminded that my body was not werking oh! I only had two options, pee in the bed or get to that loo no matter what!

Damn! I started thinking about the recent episodes of ‘Bob hearts Abishola’ and how Bob’s energetic mum had been dealing with being bedridden, started thinking about the story of ‘Sinbad and the old man of the sea’ and how Mr B would just be carrying me on his head everywhere! Then I thought about all the differently abled heroes I knew, the men and women who had learned to live their best lives regardless of their circumstances and a new respect for them rose within me. I thought of the zanku I hadn’t learned to dance yet and how I wanted to try the kizomba dance.

I thought about how I used to sway them hips and how I’d been reduced to walking like one of the old women in ‘Tales by moonlight’. I looked around furtively for something classy that I could use as a stick! I thought about how at 35, my baby girl life was being threatened into early retirement. Then finally I thought about my collection of heels!

‘No sweet Jesus, I cannot be subjected to wearing flats for the rest of my life please.’

Anyone who knows me, knows I’m crazy about shoes. I could already count at least four people who’d gladly come and share my heels assets with aplomb! Someone in University used to call me ‘height + heels’. Lol! Well some of us wanna touch the sky.

Sigh…I snapped out of my reverie, me that cannot even touch the edge of the bed in my current situation. Chei!

I made it to the loo and I could almost hear the furniture cheering me on as I took each pained step. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep all night and I couldn’t even toss and turn oh, just laid there like a log of wood, praying that cockroach would not choose tonight of all nights to climb me. Only had paracetamol at home and that didn’t even scratch the surface.

The next day, some dude who needed a favor at work woke me up with his calls, when I sent him a message that I was ill and my colleague would sort it out, he just replied ‘ok’. I rolled my eyes at the sms, what happened to ‘sorry’ and ‘get well soon’ and ‘take care’. World people! Anyway an alarmed colleague suggested I do an Xray and scared the living daylights out of me with her worst case scenarios. She wanted me to get to work immediately. Did I mention I work in another state? There was no way I was gonna brave at least a hundred potholes just to go get an Xray so I called the Orthopedic surgeon at work and described in great detail my symptoms, the location etc. He promised to send me a prescription and that I could do the Xray later.

That’s how yours truly was placed on several strong meds, one of which made me feel woozy from time to time. Ordered for some food, meds, company (my girl G) via my phone and even had that awkward moment where I was waving to the girl who brought the food, she was standing at the gate and I was trying to get her attention when some strange man in my neighbor’s house started waving back at me frantically. He was embarrassed and I was embarrassed, it would have been funny if I wasn’t in pain and wasn’t already dreaming of the rice, dodo and gizzard sauce I ordered.

Today is day 3 and I’m feeling almost good as new, I still can’t twist in certain angles though. I may even be able to attend Shiloh before it ends and who knows, be rocking heels by Christmas. Of course it helped a whole lot that Mr B returned from his trip and I could overexaggerate my pain and have him fawn over me abit! Don’t judge, nothing makes a princess all better like some pampering.

This incident gave me a whole new perspective about life and health. So many people have had their lives changed in an instant by a sudden illness or a dismal diagnosis or an unprecedented action and without forewarning or a backup plan. It’s tough, sometimes they have to be strong for their families even though all they want to do is fall apart. If you’ve ever been there or are currently in this situation I pray for strength for you, I pray for comfort and I pray for the will power to adapt, survive and thrive. Sending love and light your way…❤

If you have never been in this situation, don’t take your life or health for granted. Live your best life, have savings, investments and an insurance- nothing is too small and it’s never too late to start and be mindful of your health and activities. No one had ever warned me not to ‘lift and twist’ but after my back had issues I went online and bam! There it was all over the place! Warnings and more warnings and the degrees of injuries that could result from lifting and twisting. I think I was lucky, to be honest, it could have been much worse.

As Christmas draws nigh, please live life intentionally! Is your Christmas tree up yet? Mine is still in storage, Santa had better know I’m on bedrest, he should just nicely park the Lamborghini I asked for in front of my house and put the keys under the footmat. Daalu!

Have a great day Chutzpah fam,



Posted by on December 6, 2019 in Memoirs


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2 responses to “Back breaking clarity!

  1. Debola

    December 8, 2019 at 10:14 am

    Well written darling

    • Neetah

      December 8, 2019 at 9:16 am

      Thank you ❤


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