Perils and Pleasures of Dating after Thirty II

15 Jul


Amaka seethed as she tried to block out the animated chatter filtering in from the kitchen.

“What happened to the other guy na, the one that worked in that bank and drove ochuzo?”

“She didn’t like him either oh. And he was so nice, used to call me everyday.”

If only you knew Emeka was a cheat and a liar

“Hian! How about Mazi Eze’s son, the one in Amerikah?”

“She said he wasn’t her type of person, biko that girl is driving me mad”

Mum you wouldn’t be so mad if I told you he was a 419 boy, but if I told you Aunt Chichi would hear and soon the whole village including Mazi Eze would know what their son was up to!

“My dear, you need to talk sense into her oh. Does she not realize she is over thirty? Her mates have given their mothers five grandchildren”

Five ke? Aunty Chichi can exaggerate for Africa chei!

“I plan to take her for special prayers in church this week. Talk to her too na, she is your favorite niece, maybe she will listen to you”

“I will try. Meanwhile have you bought the wrapper for Mama Nkechi’s daughter’s wedding?”

At this point, she got up, walked out of the house and wasn’t a tad bothered that the rickety door had slammed shut on her way out. Being thirty wasn’t a sin, as far as she was concerned it was the best year of her life except for her man-less state but that had been ongoing since she was 28 so she was used to tables for one. She sat down in the shade and started making a mental note of all the great things about being thirty.

1. Great job

2. I don’t live at home anymore

3. Drive a fancy car

4. Self-assured and can enjoy my own company

5. Have a career

6. Freedom

7. Money in the bank

8. Few, good friends (most frenemies have been eliminated)

9. More spiritual (God seems to be the only one that really gets me)

10. Wiser (made most of my mistakes in life and learnt from them especially where men are concerned)

Thirty was a great age if she did say so herself. There were downsides and she reluctantly conjured a list of some of them in her head.

1. Most of your friends are married and now act like aliens

2. Your family is constantly on your neck to get married

3. You are marginalized and treated differently because you are single. (Amaka remembered the day the doorman at a new restaurant in Lekki had refused to allow her in just because she was unaccompanied by a man. For heaven’s sake eating alone wasn’t a crime, as long as she could foot her bills and she sure as hell wasn’t man-hunting)

4. The chronic bridesmaid/asoebi buyer

5. Guys feel you are desperate for marriage and try to use that to play a fast one on you or expect you to lower your standards because of it and even your friends feel you are too picky. (sigh..,)

6. Sometimes it gets lonely. (Like when she had malaria and had to take care of herself alone in her apartment)

Well thankfully her list didn’t run to 10, so obviously there were more pros to being 30 than cons. She thought of the last two suitors she had shoved aside. The ones her mum and aunt had been discussing.

Emeka had stolen her heart completely. He had a sexy baritone that made shivers run down her spine and he shared her love for art. They had had so many fun times together and she was a hundred percent  99% percent sure he was the one until she had asked to hang out with him one fateful day and he had been forced to let the cat (cat being his girlfriend of 6 years) out of the bag. She had been devastated to put it mildly and was very close to giving up on love but she had eventually moved on. She was a mature woman and she couldn’t let a man, no matter how dreamy he was, break her. She had learnt a valuable lesson after that: ALWAYS ASK IF HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT AFTER HE OFFERS TO BUY YOU A DRINK! Straight talk, no chasers. She was a grown woman and grown women didn’t waste time with men who wanted to play games.

Then there was Okezi, Mazi Eze’s illustrious son and the pride of the village who had caught her eye and she his, during the Christmas break. He was a tall, light skinned brother with a foreign accent and a very successful business abroad. He had wined and dined her and her dear mama had started picking out wrappers for the wedding. Thankfully she had asked her friend Kanyin to do a background check on the guy, she was actually looking for secret girlfriends but what Kanyin uncovered made the possibility of another woman the least of her problems. Nna the dude was a scammer, 419 yahoo boy. He was popular in Europe and probably on a ‘Wanted list’ somewhere. She hadn’t even bothered confronting him, she had heard many stories of the lengths criminals would go to protect their true identities and she didn’t want to be in harm’s way all on top toasting matter. She had severed the ties abruptly and the guy had spent the rest of the holiday serenading her mum. She just wasn’t interested shikena!

She wanted to be married, really she did- but she didn’t want to have to lower her standards or settle for less just to be called Mrs Somebody. She wanted love and happiness and if she had to wait another ten years for it, she would. She got up and decided to go for a run, if she was gonna wait ten years for her man then he was gonna meet her looking as sexy as she was twenty years before.

“Time to burn off the calories from that ofe akwu

…To be  continued…


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2 responses to “Perils and Pleasures of Dating after Thirty II

  1. Adetula Akeem

    July 18, 2014 at 9:51 am

    Gods time is the best.
    when the right man comes she would not hesitate.

  2. ogho

    July 21, 2014 at 7:50 am

    Sensible gal ni. Not part 1 that is forming actor and boz for man. You will find your Mr right jo, or Mr partially right. Not Mr 419 abeg. On to the next part…


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