The Truth about Office Romances…

09 Jul

Have you ever caught yourself smiling sheepishly after your boss walked out of the room? Have you ever admired a work colleague and then found yourself daydreaming about him/her in a manner that caused you to blush? Did you feel bad afterwards and kick yourself in the shin because you are happily married or in a great relationship and in real life you wouldn’t be caught dead making out with a work colleague? Relax, statistics show that a lot of people (a whole lot more than you can imagine) find themselves in such sticky mental jams or how on earth do you think office romances -which by the way are also the most likely to fail- are born?

Here are 5 reasons why your boss or ubercool work colleague could be your number one fantasy:
1. He/She looks well put together: You know that cool, calm, collected look that has your head spinning and your significant other looking like an ‘mgbeke’ from the village? Yes that’s the one.
You may leave the house very early in the morning when your wife is still in her hair net, with no makeup and smelling like yesterday or your boyfriend is walking around with morning breath and yesterday’s boxers and then you step into the corporate world where it’s designer suits, heady perfumes and calm professionalism and you wonder why you weren’t lucky enough to bag one of those hotties at your work place before you met your significant other.

You might want to reconsider that last thought.

What you perceive of an individual at the work place is only about 15% of that person’s actual self. There are preset images, perceptions, language, culture and work ethics that majority of people know they have to conform to from 9-5. Don’t be fooled by the facade.

Your uber cool work colleague could be the mother of all slobs at home! #fact

2. He/She is so easy to talk to and you guys seem to have so much in common. Again this is an unfair comparison. The workplace brings an air of solidarity but be warned that you do not read more meaning into it than it’s worth. Anyone even an axe murderer or the most socially inept fellow you can think of would be easy to talk to if you spent 8 hours with the fella every blessed day. Throw in the unity that working for the same mean boss or corporation brings and one or two shared office projects and he/she begins to look like your soul mate.

Thing is, you left your soul mate, the real one- at home this morning with barely a parting shot because you were running late for work and you get home cranky and tired and making conversation is the last thing you wanna do so eventually it becomes a case of out of sight, out of mind and vice versa.

3. He/She understands you better than your significant other. They notice when you are feeling down or when you had your hair done or when you lose some weight. They totally feel your taste in music and will do all those silly things your man or woman doesn’t have time for and did I add they are your best movie buddies and don’t forget TGIF! Of course he/she understands you more but do they understand that when your allergies act up, you need to lie on your side and drink hot peppersoup? Do they understand how you get afraid of the dark because when you were a kid your nanny locked you in the closet one too many times or how you had to hustle to pay your way to school. The list is endless, the truth is what actually counts?

Would that person who seems like such a rock still be there for you if you lost your job, all your money and all your swag? Hmmmmm

4. He/She is so sexy and toned and looks like they would be awesome in bed. Calm down bae, take a deep breath. I know your man or woman is packing on the pounds and isn’t looking so sexy anymore but life is much more than twenty minutes of great sex with a hunky work colleague. What happens when you are all spent and able to see clearly again? How do you walk away from the mess you have made when your brain has suddenly been unclogged and the ‘agro’ has evaporated to whence it came?

A wise man once said don’t eat where you shit (and vice versa). Sleeping with a work colleague is wrong on so many levels. Statistics show it never ever ends well. What happens to the boo you have cheated on emotionally or physically and the awesome work colleague whose awesomeness evaporated the minute you realized he had a small weiner and came in half a minute? You can’t turn back the hands of time unfortunately and you are left with guilt and sometimes much worse (Did somebody say chlamydia?)

Again I say, don’t eat where you shit!

5. He/She is so smart. They understand spreadsheets and work deadlines and strategy. Stuff your boo will never understand but then again your boo is an engineer and you are an accountant and there is a reason you never dated an accountant back in the University right? Your mate doesn’t have to know the nitty gritty of the work you do. What’s really important is the empathy, support and comfort a mate gives. How smart is your work colleague outside his/her sphere of influence? Don’t be myopic, think about how smart you thought your mate was, the very first time you fell in love. This sort of love is such a fickle emotion. Your mate hasn’t gotten duller, you have only just lost sight of the bigger picture and you are focusing on the world that is Tanxo corporation.

Having someone who you can talk about your day to, one who truly understands the sort of day you had probably because he/she experienced it too or is in the same field as you are can be such a turn on but this is just one of the hazards of the work environment. Finding a way around this is a must unless you are a single guy/girl looking to hook up with a work colleague. If you are not single then you need to get a grip on reality and realize that there really is a life outside the office that is more important than the one you live behind those doors.

Just like your job is one broken contract away from unemployment, your relationship is one broken contract away from singledom. You need to take stock and decide for good if the opportunity cost (that hunky dude that sits in the next office or that secretary with her too short skirt and perky boobs) is worth the risk.

Terms and conditions apply….

Have a great evening Chutzpah fam,


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Posted by on July 9, 2014 in Relationships


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