Ok before I start let me announce that this post is not actually about comparing vain, selfish men to generous, once a year good guys! Heck NO! 😉
I have been pondering as I usually do, on matters such as this and following a discussion I had with le boo, I just had to share. The thing is le boo believes that all girls want a man with the sort of body on Burna Boy and Peter Okoye (P-square).
You can’t blame him, you see the way the girls go gaga at an Iyanya concert. Most of these men know that stripping to almost nothing is one of their selling points. 😉
Then there’s the other type of guy. Now let me explain why I used Santa. It isn’t because this sort of guy is cheery and verrry good, heck no! That jolly belly points to a love of food and alcohol if you ask me LOL. Anyway this other guy is not so fit, probably has never seen the four walls of a gym before and he varies from lanky to heavy, but swanky and buff are definitely not adjectives he would get a lot! He is your regular, every day, run off the mill guy; some are naughty and some are nice!
Before you rush to make a selection, might I remind you that contrary to what Hollywood, Nollywood, Bollywood, Ghollywood and all the other woods have been selling you (they and their glossy magazine allies), more than 70% of men in the world fall into the second category. But work with me on this one, if you had two men hotly pursuing you or could possibly fall for one of two men, each belonging to a different category stated above, would you veer towards Johnny Bravo or Santa?
I was gisting with a friend and she said a guy’s body doesn’t really matter to her. His personality is what’s important to her. She added that guys who were too good looking were usually a handful but when asked if she’d go to a P-square concert she exclaimed that of course she would, eye candy plus good music was irresistible! (Now you see why girls can’t resist boy bands?) Sigh…
Now my issue with having a perfect bod is that it sometimes eats away at the emotional quotient of these guys (girls included). After all how can they pay attention to say, one loyal girl when they have myriads of girls fawning over them? Sucks right? The same applies to women too. I know a hot woman who would boast that her man had no choice but to stay good because she never missed an opportunity to point out all the other men who wanted her including his friends (and the thing is, they all did want her bad, she wasn’t bluffing and her man did feel grateful). My cousin once told me that she couldn’t marry a man who was prettier than her because she would end up chasing him and giving him all the attention instead of the other way round and maybe she had a point there but I have spoken to a few great looking guys who feel their looks put a dampener on their love lives. One guy P said the first time a woman talks to him, she throws words like player, Cassanova, bad boy, ladies’ man & dog at him and expects him to be vain, narcissistic and egotistical. P says the women don’t give him a chance because his looks place him in a box and that he is judged harder than the other men. P joked that his chubby room-mate got more girls weekly than he had ever gotten in his entire life.
Don’t you just hate stereotypes? How many times have you walked away from a potentially good relationship because divorcees are like this, fine boys are like that, men with kids are usually like this, Yoruba boys are usually like that………. (The list is endless). One girl said to me about a guy she just met who seemed interested in her that “a guy who is that good-looking, dresses that well and smells so good- with a car, can’t be single…”
So back to the topic: Johnny Bravo or Santa? Ladies you simply cannot judge a book by its cover. I have met good men who looked like Greek gods; carved to perfection and men who were nothing to look at but acted like every woman ought to bow down and worship them. Personality matters! So look beyond the abs or flab and into the soul. Remember that a nerdy dude who blossomed late in life would still be nerdy inside but a fine dude who became flabby later in life would always act like he was still the boss!
Personally I would prefer a guy without six- packs because his six packs would remind me of the soft curve of my belly and the extra pounds around my thighs (Besides I do love rubbing le boo’s belly) but when it comes to having a man for keeps, looks definitely have nothing to do with it!
Have a great day Chutzpah fam,