15. Wedding Chronicles: AMAKA…the saga continues

06 Feb

It had been three weeks since the phone call. She had seen him six times and every time she had ensured her makeup and outfit were perfect after all if she was gonna have a surprise engagement party she didn’t wanna be caught unawares. Six times she had been disappointed and the worse part was that Ehis didn’t even seem to notice her long face and pout every time he dropped her off. He seemed to have a lot on his mind. Maybe he was having some trouble taking the plunge and needed her to help him make up his mind.

On Monday she dashed to the market during lunch break and bought ingredients for the banga soup he loved so much. The traffic hadn’t deterred her, she had arrived at his house at 7.30pm, thankfully she had the spare key and a very surprised Ehis had met her pounding yam. On Tuesday, she had personally delivered breakfast to his office with an ‘I love you card’ and had to cook up a rather impressive lie to avoid getting a query from her boss. On Wednesday she had arrived a little later due to the horrid traffic on the island but was thankful that Ehis didn’t get home till after 9pm. She had cleaned his house from top to bottom and made him coconut rice for dinner. On Thursday she’d left work early because her boss was not at the office and she’d seized the opportunity to wash all his clothes and then make dinner.

On friday, Amaka was late for work. Not because she was carrying out her make up his mind plan but because she was so tired. She had gotten home after 11pm every night since Monday despite Ehis’s protests that she not stop by on a work night. She was a woman on a mission and at this point even her job was secondary. Lucky for her, her boss wasn’t on seat although he did catch her dozing at her desk twice that day. That evening she went straight home, changed into something slinky, made sure her hair and make up where on point and then waited. She wanted to time her movement so she arrived at Ehis’s house just as he was heading out to the club with his boys. They’d ask her to join them and she could prove to him that she wouldn’t be one of those wives who stopped being sexy after marriage or lost their groove once he put a ring on it!

Amaka woke up with a start. Everywhere was dark and she seemed to be sprawled on a chair. She felt around for her phone. The blinking red light made it a tad easy to spot. She stared at the time dumbfounded. It was 1.30am. How could she have fallen asleep? Her plan was ruined.
She kicked off her shoes and then started fiddling with her phone. She’d have to make up for this setback tomorrow. She didn’t want Ehis thinking she was inconsistent. She knew just the kind of wife every man wanted and she was determined to be so wifely that Ehis would have no choice but to propose. She’d more than shocked him this past few days yet the conversation always went the same way.

“Hello darling, what a pleasant surprise”

“I was going home from work and it struck me that you had nothing to eat for dinner and I decided to stop by…”

“Awwww you shouldn’t have. Come here…”

And all she’d get was a bloody hug and a peck! She wanted more!!!
On Wednesday he’d said he had something for her and excused himself, her heart had been pounding so hard, only for the man to return with his company’s 2013 diary. Her thank you had been forced but she didn’t think he really noticed. She absolutely refused to give up! She’d heard horror stories of men buying rings and giving it to other women while their long standing girlfriends continued dreaming away oblivious of the new development and she’d also heard of men proposing years after they bought a ring. She had neither the patience nor fortitude to wait that long or leave things to chance. She wanted a 2013 wedding and what Amaka wanted, Amaka got (some of the time!).

On saturday she visited his parents and cooked them a huge pot of soup along with a basket of fruits. She’d been the model daughter-in-law, helping them clean and go on errands despite their insistence that she not stress herself. She knew his mother would call him and she wanted to ensure that when that call was made it would be 100% in her favour. She’d also prepared a list of wifely attributes that a 21st century wife ought to have and she planned to accidentally leave it at his place on Sunday. She perused her list, looking for ways to perfect utter perfection.

Amaka’s 10 commandments
1) A good wife always dresses sexy in the house. No wrappers or hair nets, only bum shorts, slinky dresses, negligees, teddies and never wears panties to sleep 😉

2) A good wife wakes up while her husband is still asleep, makes him breakfast, cleans the house then comes to wake him up with some good loving and after he is satisfied, she brings him his breakfast in bed- everyday!

3) A good wife never nags. She always let’s her man have his freedom and never complains if he stays out late or hangs with the boys too often. She never watches African magic and excuses herself when her man is watching football so as not to interrupt him.

4) A good wife gives her Savings ATM card and all her salary to her husband for him to plan the family’s spending. She has absolute trust in his wisdom.

5) A good wife cooks dishes from various countries and tribes for her husband on a regular and can cook better than any mama put or restaurant.

6) A good wife never goes through her husband’s phone, emails, facebook, twitter or anything he considers private and never asks to see his pay check.

7) A good wife keeps her figure and maintains her flat tummy and slim body even after 5 kids.

8) A good wife always shaves every where shave-able and ensures her eyebrows, fingers, toes and hair are well groomed.

9) A good wife prays for her husband and always encourages him and never stresses him out. She also follows him to whatever church he decides to attend.

10) A good wife doesn’t need a house help. She takes care of her home and her kids and in-laws and is also a top executive at work.

Amaka chuckled. After she got the ring, she would realistically look through this list again but for now this was her strategy. Besides she was sure somewhere in the world there was a woman who followed all 10 of these commandments to the letter. She did wanna be the best wife he could ever have and it was just a shame that being herself hadn’t earned her a ring all these years.

She woke up smiling on Sunday morning. She was certain that this was her last Sunday as a single girl. She had decided to skip church since she knew Ehis would be going for evening mass. She would miss Pastor Poju’s message but his last message on faith had her still energised!

“Faith without works is dead so it’s left to me to work that ring out of Ehis’s hand and on to my finger!”

She had dressed up in a lovely but demure outfit and a couple of minutes later, she gave herself a satisfied nod. She was definitely ready…

…Amaka had the distinct feeling that she was being watched. There was a car parked in front of Ehis’s house. It was black and the windows and windscreen where tinted too dark for her to be able to make out if there was anyone in the car.

“Thought the police had banned tinted windows? Hissss. Naija for you!”

Amaka felt a bit uneasy. Ehis rarely entertained visitors on a Sunday morning. He called it his ‘Sabbath’ and used the opportunity to catch up on precious sleep time. As she got to the front door, she realised it was slightly ajar. There were suitcases by the door which was very strange. One looked very much like the one Ehis had bought for his trip to Ghana last year.


As she pushed open the door, she caught sight of a blonde woman in a black dress talking to Ehis and then someone crept up from behind and put a cloth over her mouth.

The last thing she heard was the sound of her own muffled scream!

…To be continued!

Have a great day peeps! Xoxoxo 😉

1 Comment

Posted by on February 6, 2013 in Wedding Chronicles


One response to “15. Wedding Chronicles: AMAKA…the saga continues

  1. @Vuprax

    February 11, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    Lol @ 2013 company diary!


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