When Daddy says No!

15 Feb

For many of us our fathers are our heroes. They don’t have capes and don’t always get it right but we know they love us fiercely and want only the very best for us or why else would they work from dawn to dusk or be so strict with us every once in a while? Without doubt daddy always knows best…

My friend ‘M’ has had to carefully consider this as mutiny unfolds in her household. She comes from a family with 4 daughters and her father has always been strict where men were concerned. This wasn’t alarming because most men would unsheath their swords at the slightest lingering glance cast upon their female spawn but as she and her sisters approached the giveaway age, their father found a new rule to daily add to his barrage of rules and regulations and like slaves they groaned and tried to adjust while holding on to the tattered remains of a social life till things came to a head when her sister brought her secret boyfriend home. They’d been dating for years and the guy had popped the question. Needless to say, her father was shocked that the man could go behind enemy lines and have the effontery to seek his daughter’s hand but alas he could not find anything wrong with him other than his tribe and capitalized on that, swearing that over his dead body would he ever condone the union.

Anyone who has ever lived in a house full of women knows that one can’t win a war against a bunch of starry-eyed, love-sick women. The conspiracy began and various strategies were employed but two years after, her father still wouldn’t budge. He didn’t mind the tears, was unmoved by the chorused pleas and undeterred by doors banging in feigned rebellion. He knew he had good children and that despite their chagrin they actually did believe that father knew best or so he thought…

The girls had taken it personal, M was dating a man from the same tribe as her elder sister’s fiance so she knew winning the battle for them would end the war. Her elder sister recently did a secret court marriage and according to the Federal Republic of Nigeria she is legally married. She has decided that her final attack will be a missed period followed by an elopement of sorts if her father doesn’t change his mind. Here she is caught in the middle, pitched between the man she always called hero and another man who may never love her even half as much as her father does…Does daddy always know best?

My mother told me the story of her classmate who had to wait years till her father conceded to her marriage. Her father had been an influential man and had high hopes of his daughter marrying ‘well’ and that didn’t include the village-headmaster, poor as a church rat, hungry looking man who obviously adored his daughter. Why wouldn’t he? Poor sap! The young lad probably saw his daughter as his ticket out of poverty and he only accepted him after he was sure no other eligible bachelor was on the horizon.

It’s quite criminal that we are not warned before hand that our fathers are gonna go on a guilt trip once the doctor pronounces our sex, fearing karma for all the misdeeds of their youth and dragging us along in their shadows till they find an ‘unsharp’ man to hand us over to! Little wonder the ‘badder’ a man is as a young man, the more fearsome and formidable he is as a parent especially where his girls are concerned. He looks at them and remembers the kele kele loves, one night stands and countless broken hearts he left in his stride not to mention the abortions. There is no way he is gonna allow miss-know-it-all karma who looks just like the ex who cursed him, get a hold of his darling, precious, innocent daughter.

…And the saga continues. So do we listen to daddy and follow him like a good daughter would, away from our singing hearts and raging hormones or do we do an ‘omo buruku’ number on him and follow the man of our dreams, the rogue who’ll be a potential daddy in a couple of years? Women marry their fathers, so they say& like poles repel (Do the maths); Hence the father/son-in-law tiffs. There’s a little girl whispering into her daddy’s ears somewhere…’Daddy you taught me right from wrong, you showed me how to survive and be sharp in the jungle we live in, now I need you to trust me…’

Sometimes fathers may not get it right but you’ll always be the little girl they held in their arms at the hospital and swore to love and protect. While I may not have the answers my friend M desperately seeks, I do know that our people say that what the elders see sitting down, the children can never see even if they climb on top of a tree…

Have a great day peeps…xoxoxo


Posted by on February 15, 2012 in Inspirational, Relationships


Tags: , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “When Daddy says No!

  1. Mario

    February 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Good Piece.

  2. Chika Okoronkwo

    February 16, 2012 at 2:52 am

    wow, this could not be farther from the truth. I know cos i went through the same with my daddy (who said never trust a boy until he is 25 and even then, only sparingly) and it took 2 years to convince him that my white american boyfriend (who even tried to bring kola and wine to appease my dad) was truly the man for me. Down to my wedding day my dad was still planning a ‘quick’ escape and his toast said as much. He looked like he was forever losing his daughter on my wedding day and I actually ended up feeling sorry for him, even despite all the wahala he put us through!

  3. Ema Leecious

    February 16, 2012 at 9:37 am

    I so know how this story plays out… Sometimes daddies just need to trust that they have done the right thing in raising their daughters…its difficult, but its part of life.

    Thanks for sharing, its a beautiful piece.

  4. revivedafrikana

    March 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    I was married once to a man my daddy knew nothing about and never met. 3 years on and I wished I had taken him to be questioned by my father and asked ” what are your intentions for my daughter”. If I ever get married again, I will be sure to get my daddies approval

  5. yemijohnson

    March 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    is daddy always right, i think not.

  6. Nollywood REinvented (@NollywdREinvntd)

    March 12, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    African movies teach us that daddies aren’t always right as he may have ulterior motives lol but that aside no man is perfect, hence, daddy too can be wrong


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