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Happy birthday to me…xxx

07 Sep

     Mortals cannot choose the day they are born or the day they die, their choices begin and end after these two are made for them…

I didn’t choose to be born on the 5th of September but that was the day my mama’s water broke and the doctor announced it was a girl…that girl turned 27 two days ago…

I decided to do a l’il research about the 5th of September not that I’m superstitious or anything but like every optimist out there, I’ve always known I was special…

First thing I googled was famous people born that day and apparently a couple of odd ball characters share birthdays with me! There were presidents, football players, mathematicians, poets, royalty, actresses, composers and great business men, even famous criminals!

Most of the names didn’t ring a bell but of the ones that did, Jesse James the famous criminal and son of a clergy man struck me the most. Not that I have any criminal intent but here was a man who was born on the same day as dozens of great men and decided to go down in history as a famous bank/train robber! He had a choice, yes times could have been tough and his clergy father over-strict but he blazed his own trail and that was exactly what I wanted to do. Make a name for myself, be so great that at my funeral they’d have to truncate the eulogy cos there’d be too many wonderful things to say and who knows, I could even end up on the 5000 naira note later on, or win a Nobel prize…. 😉

All men are born equal…some more equal than others… 😉

Someone asked once why all the great men in Nigerian history had no shoes growing up. The thing is, no matter how great you are or how rosy things are in your life, there’s gonna be that thorn, that storm, that weakness, that dark cloud hiding your sunshine. That thing that seeks to define you…How you handle it determines if you’ll be a hero or a zero…

Before I start my list, for all who are wondering how I spent my birthday, here’s a shocker…I spent it in bed! Tossing and turning and reflecting for the greater part of the day. 27 can be a scary age, just 3 years short of 30. I wasn’t all I’d hoped to be but I hadn’t done too badly either. I had goals I’d achieved, goals I’d left hanging and dreams I’d almost forgotten. I also had some hard life decisions to make…At 5.30 pm, I got a call from an old friend that shook me out of my reverie and as I planned the later part of my day, I made the rather hard decision to kiss Abuja goodbye…

The rest of my day was fun thanks to J, E and S and I got some really cool gifts though I was a bit disappointed that everyone skipped the private jet, range rover sports and land in Maitama on my wish list! 🙂

Now to the 27 things that are part of a great list of awesome events that made me the 27 year old I am today….

1) When I’m in love, I forget to eat which is great cos I like food. I’ve been called ijekuje, medemede, grubido and queen gaul because of my love for fast food and sweet things…. At the same time, I am conscious of my weight so alternate between fasts/diets/the gym and large helpings of cake and suya! Thankfully I’m tall… 🙂

2) I wrote and sold my first novel in primary four. It was about a magic mirror. All 10 copies were painstakingly hand-written and illustrated on white paper cut up and arranged in book-form and sold to my classmates for 2 naira, 50 kobo each. My mom never knew! World’s youngest entrepreneur?

3) The first boy I ever had a crush on was in church. He was nerdy, wore glasses, had pimples and was awfully smart. One day he tapped my shoulder from behind apparently to catch my attention and electricity went through my body. I was 12 at the time and I’m still not sure if it was the anointing, butterflies or jazz! 😉

4) I don’t know my right hand from my left. I have a little birth mark on my right hand that I look at every time I need directions and I’ve learnt to do that at lightening speed! Don’t laugh, I heard only geniuses have that problem. Seems I’m using both halves of my brain equally! 😉

5) I shake my leg and it’s contagious. Sometimes I do it in my sleep and I have 8 different types of shakes and the best of boyfriends have given up after trying to decipher my secret code. I shake my leg when I’m sleepy, bored, angry, horny, restless, excited, nervous or praying! I’m shaking it right now… 🙂

6) I’m a helpless romantic and water full my eye! I really get into a movie, so into it that where others say ‘awwwww, sad’ I cry buckets! Even cried when I watched ‘Lion King!’ I’m also jumpy, couldn’t find my purse after ‘Snakes on a plane’ cos I’d flung it in fright at some point. Nevertheless, I love horror!

7) I pray before I do anything, even before going clubbing… #shameonme! I’m no better than those criminals who pray before robbing…geez! But He is faithful and I’ve never been robbed, mugged, kidnapped, in an accident, drugged etc though my guardian angels did advice I slow my role so I’ve become more indoorsy of late! 😉

8 ) I cried the first time I entered the anatomy lab and saw all those dead bodies. I wasn’t scared or disgusted, I was just sad that I had to cut them up to achieve my dream. They had dreams too… #sentimental

9) I used to be deadly afraid of dogs till I moved to Abuja. Now I live with Nikky, Buddy, Jack and Nikky’s 5 pups. Alsatians and a Bullmastiff. Now i could almost write a book about dogs…

10) I’m afraid of heights, and that also includes being carried so no sweeping me off my feet please. Thank God carrying your wife across the threshold no be by force!

11) When I was in the university, I was superstitious about sandals and slippers. Every time I did something wrong or felt guilty about something, the strap of my shoe cut, no matter how new it was or how strong it looked and I had to do the walk of shame to the nearest shoe-maker…

12) I love my friends and family but I’m terrible at keeping in touch…and would rather send an sms than call… 😦

13) I thought Beast was the sexiest X-Men character! And would have totally married Rock in fantastic four. Something about soft, brainy yet brawny guys not necessarily conventionally hot…

14) At various points in my life, I have wanted to be a genetic engineer, an architect, a pilot, a sexologist, a police woman and a house wife…

15) I was an ugly duckling till the end of secondary school, I have almost no pics left for public viewing of me between age 9 and 16! Any man who fancied me then, knew the meaning of true love or was enthralled with the boobs on the skinny black girl!

16) The first time I was ever on TV was a children’s program on NTA channel 10. I was in JS2 then and my mates teased the hell out of me and my green aunty-give-me-cake-dress!

17) I’ve made grown men cry and grown men have made me cry!

18) I believe in love and would never marry a man for his money. Unfortunately it has been a while since a millionaire tested that theory! 😉

19) I love children and I wanna be a pediatrician but after failing primaries, I am thinking I’ll just give birth to loads of ’em or open an orphanage instead! Now considering other disciplines of medicine…

20) I love sexy lingerie….

21) I wanna change the world…and I wanna go to heaven…both are not easy tasks!

22) I would like to get married next year and have a kid before December 2012 just in case the world does end on that day!!!

23) I got duped by a conman for the first time in history. 65k waka just like that! And I always thought I had waffi sense! So much for Isoko wayo…. 😦

24) I spend more time on my blackberry than any other activity. My not so secret sin…

25) My favorite part of my blog is the site stats…seeing the number of people that visited my blog everyday gives me a daily dose of self-achievement…love you guys!

26) Of the seven deadly sins, if I was gonna be judged on one, it would probably be lust… 😦

27) I’m easily satisfied and have been called low maintenance by every single guy who I’ve ever been remotely involved with, i’m starting to think it isn’t such a compliment anymore. Need to develop a love of money and a hunger for the finer things of life… 😉

I will end this blog with excerpts from http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/september-5-birthday-astrology.htm I am allowed to be self-absorbed since this post is dedicated to me and the author had such lovely things to say about the September 5 breed. 😉

“Because of their attitude and appearance, Virgos born on September 5 stand out in a crowd. Intelligent and composed, they are usually in control of their emotions. They’re not just physically attractive but also are composed and dignified.

Relationships are the essence of life for September 5 people, and they spend their life working to make them the best they can be. They have a talent for making marriage work and are responsible and affectionate. They are loyal and expect the same.

They are often highly educated, yet many make their livings in nonacademic jobs. They work hard to achieve financial security. September 5 natives are often satisfied after attaining even modest goals. They balance professional goals with their personal lives without losing sight of either.

Don’t hate, appreciate…we are far from perfect but we will take over the world…if you ain’t born on September 5, ask God why???? Have a lovely night peeps… xoxoxo 😉

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16 Comments

Posted by on September 7, 2011 in Hall of Fame, Memoirs

 

Tags: , , , ,

16 responses to “Happy birthday to me…xxx

  1. babaneyo

    September 7, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Happy birthday (although its 2 days late) and I want an invite to the wedding next year 😀

     
  2. Femi

    September 7, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Your best piece yet, yes they keep getting better,I really hope the world is ready for u, cos I see rapid growth on this blog daily. Phenomenal stuff. Keep doing ur thing. Happy birthday.

     
    • Neetah

      September 8, 2011 at 10:17 am

      Thank you Femi…

       
  3. W

    September 7, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    Na only Chi_Neke know wetin you see for Beast body. Chai!

     
  4. Layi

    September 7, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    beast is like 3rd on my list of fav x men after wolverine and gambit. Lust is a sin everyone is guilty of too. Happy 27 babe. I get confused when I see other south paws like sths strange about them and can tell one even when they are not using their hand.

     
  5. grace

    September 8, 2011 at 12:09 am

    Nice piece here!! Humorous,very humorous! So,am trying to remember how many times I had seen ur sandal cut when we were in a group together in school?lols
    Happy 27th year!its a great year in any1’s life.u got to be in it to feel it!

     
  6. Lue

    September 8, 2011 at 8:44 am

    2, 3 n 6 re really hilarious. must say yu have a fun-filled life…..TV in js 2….lol. wish yu d best and everytin yu need. we love yu loadzz too.

     
  7. adebola mohammed

    September 8, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    Okay, I came late to this one. Third world internet issues. Enthralling piece. You always thrump d last one, save for the long days in-between. You seem to have yourself figured out but in all honesty, you are so much more than you know. You are still miles from your peak, inspite of what you’ve achieved this far. Stay true to your conscience. Happy Birthday in arrears.

     
  8. Okeoghene

    September 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    Happy Birthday

     
  9. Neetah

    September 9, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Thanks everyone….xxx

     
  10. Kemmiiii

    September 9, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    Lol! Happy Birthday in arrears. The fact that you cried! does that make me stone hearted? cuz I did not flinch on my first visit to the grosslab!!

     
  11. Myne Whitman

    September 15, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    belated birthday wishes Neeta, all of your heart’s desires and more. Hope you had a great time!

     
  12. deniks

    October 6, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Niceee.. Doe am feb and am nt askin God y yet. :d

     
  13. Nshina

    October 15, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Belated birthday wishes dearie..a nice read.We’re so alike..I cry bucket loads at movies and even when I’m reading a book..hee hee!Used to ♡ horror but these days they put some really freakishly scary s**t in movies.Still haven’t recovered from final destination 5.

    Best wishes in the year ahead.May you find what you’re looking for in every aspect of life (men inclusive..hee hee).

     
  14. Michelle

    June 28, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    I’m September 4th. Great minds think a like. Virgos star shines the brightest in the Kosmos.

     
    • Miz Chutzpah

      June 29, 2015 at 5:38 am

      Yes great minds think alike 😉 my almost birthday mate xoxo #virgosrock

       

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