Emotional Cheating…the worm in Adam’s apple!

09 Feb

  Emotional cheating is a phrase that has been thrown around for more than a decade and its concept is blurry at best.
Some would like to see it as a term that pertains to women as women have always been thought to be unable to cheat without involving their hearts but in a more general sense it’s been used to describe any activity that though imperceptible or seemingly harmless could in time destroy the relationship and rob one’s partner of their joy and peace of mind.
I like to see it as a worm in an apple. The hole through which it entered is not usually visible or might be so small that it is ignored but the worm is inside the seemingly good apple and begins to devour it from the inside out till one day it gets to the outside and then we wonder how a good fruit could all of a sudden go bad!
It destroys your relationship from inside out like the l’il worm & makes you succumb to physical cheating not to mention lying to the person you care about.
Many times the actions associated with emotional cheating are not crimes in themselves. Some of them could be even regarded as socially acceptable but they eat at the relationship and soon a web of little white lies and misplaced priorities is spun and your focus starts to shift.
Once emotional cheating is birthed in its entirety, given the right opportunity, the physical cheating occurs and becomes the main event! L’il wonder most people who are caught cheating say it just happened unaware of the fact that they’ve been emotionally cheating for a long while so their defences were lowered. Emotional cheating is the devil and it sneaks up on you!

Here are some ways you could unknowingly be cheating emotionally already:
1. Thinking about another guy/girl in a romantic way
2. Thinking about another guy/girl in a sexual way
3. Hanging out with a guy/girl who you know likes you & who you sorta fancy though you have a boyfriend/girlfriend
4. Being too close to a work colleague or friend of the opposite sex to the extent that he/she knows more about your life & thought processes than your man/woman.
5. Being too close to an ex
6. Collecting gifts and accepting help from a guy/girl who is obviously going out of his/her way for you despite the fact that you know they have ulterior motives and your bf/gf would be mad if he/she found out.
7. Dressing extra nice because some guy/girl even if you call ’em innocent eye candy is gonna be there to see you.
8. Lying to your boyfriend/girlfriend about who you are hanging out with or who you are talking to on the phone even if you justify that you are not doing anything physically wrong.
9. Telling another man/woman about your relationship issues and accepting his/her shoulder to cry on & bashing your bf/gf to him/her even though you know the guy/girl is single & wants you.
10. Calling your man/woman another man/woman’s name whether in bed or in a conversation!

Lol! I think most of us are guilty of at least one of the above. Emotional cheating is just as terrible as physical cheating and one usually leads to the other even if it takes years to mature. So don’t justify it.
How could some harmless flirtation cause any trouble you ask? Ask the people who got caught cheating, it all started out innocently…

Sometimes emotional cheating seems justified. A selfish partner who doesn’t give you enough attention or time or who has cheated on you in the past or hurt you or who just stresses you out on a regular can be reason enough to give a third party a free pass to your heart. You are not cheating you say and your heart is only for rent and those short moments spent laughing with the other person or enjoying their undivided attention or even just having a listening ear and a warm shoulder could be all too sweet but wouldn’t it be better to sort things out with your partner or at least give him/her the boot when you feel yourself getting more involved? Ahhhh it’s complicated! I totally get it.

Stolen bread sweet pass but when they Sharia your hand, bread will never taste the same again. Many of us entered relationships feeling like our partners were the best thing that had ever happened to us. Don’t let your 80% give you the boot because you toyed with a 20% for much too long.
Emotional cheating may not have you watching your back right now but it is not your friend!

As Valentine’s day draws closer and love is in the air wildly competing with all the other things in the air, make up your mind to clean up your act and give your relationship your best shot! Put all of you into it and if it still doesn’t blossom then you know you’ve done your best and you can go running to plan B! Afterall there are too many fish in the ocean ay? 😉

Have a great day peeps! This is my last blog as a corper, yay me!!!

Lasgidi here I come……. 😉


Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Relationships


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

7 responses to “Emotional Cheating…the worm in Adam’s apple!

  1. DL

    February 9, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    *scratching my head*

  2. Akeem

    February 9, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Well done o

  3. Purple Knight

    February 9, 2011 at 6:03 pm


  4. dapxin

    February 11, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    If there are too many fishes in the ocean, then question, is cheating as I take it you, use here, not therefore justified ?

    I mean would it not therefore be impossible or infact stupid not to cheat ?

    Look at it this way; You are to write jamb, and you are surrounded by the marking sheme, Is it therefore not plain inhuman to be asked to not look, when you clearly see ?

    Just questions o; ya know you are now a fully qualified :p

    • nitarules

      February 11, 2011 at 3:24 pm

      Gosh you cracked me up! The men are gonna make you their hero…Tsk! Tsk!
      Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

  5. dapxin

    February 11, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    assumptions are dangerous. Or you doctors now have a way of detecting ‘remote’ sex ?

    maybe I am not men ? :p

  6. Dr Henri

    February 15, 2011 at 1:09 am

    I initially wanted to stay from commenting on this write-up but it came right back in my face. Ok…umm..I think this is more of a feminine challenge. As nonsensical as it may sound, men are a lot more faithful emotionally than the women folk but a lot less faithful physically. The reverse wins with the ladies – less emotionally faithful and more physically (sexually) faithful- and of course for obvious reasons. A guy in the midst of 3 intimate gals may not be confused about where his heart is anchored. A gal in the midst of 3 close males may be setting herself up for a ‘Dear Aunty’ columnist. Sometimes therefore,it becomes a question of the devil and the deep blue sea: Which is more hurtful – a heart that is with you and a body that is partly somewhere else OR a body that is with you and a heart that is somewhere else. What I think? Its easier for the body to return than the heart. What killed Caesar was not the dagger of faithful Brutus in his body but the stab of a friend in the heart.”Even you Brutus…then Caesar dies.”

    In anycase,I get your point that little drops of straying thoughts might eventually make a mighty bucket of cheating – whatever that means. I hope I have not given cannon fodder to some loose cannon guys.


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