05 Jan

   I’d like to start by saying happy new year and whatever happened in 2010 stays in 2010! Well except unprotected sex which may land you a series of unfortunate events that may linger far into the new year. Well that aside, I’m sure I’m not the only one that misses the holidays….

January comes with it’s share of drama but rising above it, is something Nigerians alongside the rest of the world have done year in year out!
Let’s look at some of the realities 2011 brought with it…
1. ‘Broke-ness’
Bank accounts got cleaned out due to the lau-lau spending that holidays promote. Savings accumulated all through the year were zapped in a jiffy and though the memories linger in your head, on facebook or on your camera you still can’t help driving by the Marquee and looking on in regret.

2. Hangovers and weight gain
The holidays wouldn’t be the holidays without alcohol and loads of food. Eating and drinking are the order of the day. Going out just wasn’t complete without a full tank of gas and now that the tank is empty or at least running in its usual capacity, we are left with a pound too many around our bellies and a liver that screams save me, save me!

3.New Year Resolutions
January wouldn’t be January without New Year Resolutions.
Here are a few of the hilarious, far-fetched, near impossible and also some achievable ones I’ve heard this year. Some of them were even made by yours truly! 😉
-Be more focused
-Be more prayerful& patient
-Become a lepah/gain some weight
-Quit smoking/drinking
-Quit womanizing
-Get married by fire by force
-Become my own boss
-‘Straff’ as many girls as possible
-Finally ‘straff’ my neighbor’s daughter/that girl I dey pursue since
-Learn to drive/get a driver
-Stop cheating
-Hammer my first million/billion (Get rich or die trying)
-Get bigger boobs/flatter tummy/abs+muscles/a bigger arse
-Get a promotion/Meet my job target
-Lose my virginity/stop having sex
-Get a maga/be independent
-Start being nicer/Stop Gossiping
-Start exercising/eating healthy
-Stop borrowing
Sound like a total makeover huh?

Now depending on the person making ’em, these resolutions can either be achieved or forgotten as the year progresses. Usually by February life is back to normal for these folks and new year resolutions shelved away till the next year!
Resolutions come from an innate longing to be better than you were the year before. Noble as it sounds, determination and a commitment to follow through is the only key to success.
Baby steps towards your goal are in the long-run a better way to go than giant erratic steps. Remember the story of the tortoise and the Hare? Slow and steady always wins the race.
Now I can imagine giving a hustler on Lagos streets that piece of advice. He’d promptly retort that the patient dog gets only bone cos meat go don finish since!
But knowing when to leap and when to crawl is an act of discernment. Only the wise can do this accurately so this year along with your other requests, ask God for wisdom cos it is the principal thing.

4. New Prayer Requests
Most people spend the 31st of December in church armed with two envelopes. One usually contains a long list of things they want God to do for them in the New year. For some adults, this is Santa’s real list and He has the whole year to deliver. Others start the new year with intense fasting and prayers, all to ensure a smooth and secure year or to entreat help for the trials the new year has put forward.
Many religious leaders have uttered prophecies for the new year! Prophecies of greatness, prophecies of doom but whatever it is you heard about the new year, remember that you have the power to decide what kind of year you are gonna have.
Some got promoted in December, others lost their jobs or a loved one, whether it was with a heavy heart or with joy and gladness that you screamed ‘Happy New Year’ at the stroke of midnight, remember that a new year brings new hope.

5. For Nigerians, January heralds elections!
Not a time anyone looks forward to, well except the politicians for obvious reasons.
Elections in Nigeria have always been surrounded by a period of political unrest and looking at the recent bombings in various parts of the country, one can only pray for safety of life and property during this period.
And as politicians campaign and agberos secretly strategise, corpers around Nigeria look forward to the INEC recruitment that will fetch them up to forty thousand naira, not to mention being absent from work for long periods! Different strokes for different folks.
In all of this, prayers cannot be over-emphasized. For peace, good-governance, free and fair elections and for tolerance.
I remember the June 12 elections and all the trouble it caused, I had to stay off school for quite a bit and a lot of people lost their lives and properties. My only prayer is that Nigeria never sees such dark times again.

On a lighter note, I got a rather disturbing broadcast yesterday night. It said; Google May 21st, 2011. I was initially afraid but chastised myself that google was a search engine and the real danger would lie in clicking on the web pages found, whatever they were.
It was a warning! Bible scholars had predicted the end of the world. Many thoughts raced through my mind. I’d never get married or see Paris or drive a ferrari. Lol.
On a more serious note I remembered that the scriptures did say, ‘No one knows the day nor the hour that the Son of Man will come; That He shall be like a thief in the night.’
Still not comforting cos the bible scholars had given us a definite day to turn over a new leaf which meant we could be naughty till 11:59pm on the 20th of May 2011 but the Scriptures sound a note of warning! It could happen today, right now! Without any prior warning whatsoever. So I think it’s a wake-up call for all of us!
Live everyday like it was your last.
There was a hit movie I enjoyed as a kid, I think it was called ‘Never too young to die!’
That’s koko mehn! One day you’ll be asked to give an account of your life and defend every word, thought or action you ever did in the open or in secret. Don’t be caught unawares.

As you start the new year, you are allowed to start on a clean slate.
Move past your blunders of the old year and re-invent yourself! Prove to the haters in the world that they cannot predict your story!
Have a great day peeps and Happy 2011. May it be your year of all Grace! Xoxo 😉


Posted by on January 5, 2011 in Inspirational


Tags: , , , , ,

4 responses to “2-0-1-1

  1. christine umebese

    January 5, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Real nice,true story…

  2. Purple Knight

    January 5, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    I think the lau lau spending phenomenon is very potent and hard to shake off. . . Plus, I can Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴͡ we have some New Year resolutions in common. . . Hope I still remember them, come february!!

  3. rotimi shaba

    January 6, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    Nice piece nd I will stick
    2 ma resolutions dis year

  4. Dr Henri

    February 14, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Jan. 5 was my birthday anniversary. Spent it in the office regrettably as I had a deadline to meet the next day. Might have been an inspirational for me if I had access to your blog back then.I like the part about story prediction but you know our words are signposts to others pointing in the direction our lives are headed. However, nothing predicts our future more than our habits today.


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