The average woman has a masterplan by the time she’s 16; Be a career woman, marry the man of her dreams and let him be the one she gives her heart to along with her virginity. She figures getting the career will be the hard part till she falls in love for the first time.
The first time I fell in love, I figured the equation was simple enough till I realised I loved him and he loved them, simply put!!
I was his girlfriend but I was a virgin and NBK- never been kissed and he was hot with all the honeyz he could f**k and I was presented with my first problem, the solution not so simple. I remember googling how to touch a man’s c**k because I was tired of sharing him with half the school. I never did catch him cheating but it was quite obvious he craved for more than my inexperienced and innocent love could offer.
I wanted him to love me for me. I wanted to be enough for him. I never did do anything with the information I gathered on the internet cos he was gone in 60 seconds! My first love…
Through the years and one more boyfriend an idea had begun to form slowly in my mind.
I analyzed the possible kinds of women who could steal a man’s heart and came up with four categories;
1. The asewo- knows everything about sex and how to make a man go gaga.
2. The good girl- virgin, innocent deeply religious, wife-material
3. The hottie- beautiful with a great body &loads of sex appeal
4. The intellectual- successful, intelligent independent go-getter that commands a man’s respect (DIVA).
And then I thought of creating the ultimate monster capable of warding off attackers, a woman who was everything a man could ever want or need.
‘The intellectual asewo-good girl who was smoking hot!’
I thought I had it all figured out.
If this ultra-woman could only learn to touch a man till he went gaga and possibly give the ho on Allen Avenue a good run for her money in the fore-play department but still withold sex so he’d be able to stroke his ego on his wedding night that he’d been the only one there! She’d have to be religious too, a virtuous woman he could take home to mama but also an intellectual whom he’d be proud to relate with, a cut-throat Diva and of course she had to always look hot. Her hotness was regardless of her size or weight or cheekbones but a combination of confidence and making the best use of the assets she’d been blessed with.
Men would adore the monster and line up to be given a chance to possess her but she wouldn’t be seeking their approval, she’d be looking for just one man.
She’d have to stay armed because it wasn’t enough to have him but she’d also have to be able to keep him too cos it’s a dog eat dog world and only the fittest survive! She needed to have a foolproof plan for keeping her man from cheating.
Like every woman I thought I had it all figured out. I didn’t anticipate that men would be greedy and easily dissatisfied, not wanting to eat egusi soup every day of the week however sweet the soup was but once in a while craving a bit of okra and edikainkong!
I didn’t anticipate that there could be other reasons for leaving a man you love without him cheating and most of all I never ever anticipated that there could be a man who would not worship the monster!
Women have had it so tough for centuries;
-From the disillusioned girl who loses her virginity to a man she loves only to eventually marry another man who sees her as promiscuous and a disappointment because she wasn’t a virgin when he married her!
– To the women who have bought Alum to shrivel up their vaginas and have gone for surgery(vaginoplasties!) just to create the illusion of virginity to please their husbands.
– To other women who have been accused of damaging their wombs because of their sexual experience by a husband who was frustrated at not having a child early in marriage even though the women have never terminated a pregnancy or even caught an infection!
– To the other women who have been dumped by their husbands for inability to bear children after these same men made them commit several abortions while dating!
-To women whose husbands cheated on them right from the start of the marriage because they were virgins and inexperienced!
-And then there were yet women who were disgraced and humiliated because their men got frustrated at their refusal to give up their virginity before marriage seeing it as a sign that the women didn’t love them enough.
Shoooo, how you take see am? These brothers want make we kolo na? Kai!
So which is the lesser evil? Is being a virgin better than being a non-virgin in today’s society?
Can one actually please a man?
-They expect that if you are sexually experienced then you should be great at sex and of course, not a virgin but then when they love a woman who is sexually experienced and great at sex they are consumed with thoughts of how many men she’s slept with and may end up leaving her for a virgin.
-Then the man who finds out his woman is sexually experienced but still a virgin can’t get enough and wants to take it by force or he thinks she’s lying and tries to force the truth out sometimes raping her in the process or just doesn’t touch her because he’s disgusted at the hypocrisy and thinks she might as well go all the way cos the thought of not entering the promised land after seeing it so often is one he cannot stand!
-And then there’s the man whose girlfriend’s an inexperienced virgin and he cheats on her from day one.
Agreed there are EXCEPTIONS.
Men who love their women deeply and truly without misconceptions and don’t care about her past or how many she’s been with.
These men don’t care if she’s a virgin or not cause they realize life is more than sex.
-If she’s a virgin they feel blessed at finding a rose amongst thorns knowing that at the right time they can turn their woman into their personalized sex goddess.
– If she’s not a virgin they feel lucky to have a woman who can make their blood hot anytime and satisfy them with little or no help.
-And a few appreciate a woman who can give them the best of both worlds.
Love is all that matters these men will tell you and a woman’s sexual experience usually doesn’t define her character or virtue.
Then there’s the issue of satisfying a woman.
When a man’s dissatisfied sexually he cheats.
When a few women are dissatisfied sexually they cheat but the majority of the women suffer in silence, no wonder someone invented the dildo! 😉
A virgin is easier to tame cos it’s new to her and whatever you give her seems good to her as long as she doesnt conceive the idea of trying it somewhere else.
A non-virgin is tricky cos when you sleep with her your performance is rated alongside every man she’s ever been with and she may once in a while be less patient with you and instead seek out a stud who does the job best.
With an in-between girl, you are judged on fore play cause that’s all she knows so even if you are bad in bed and with a dick not worth writing home about, if you know how to touch her in all the right places she’ll be easy to please but the downside is foreplay will always be important to her and she may need it like the old fashioned way to get her wet unless your sexual prowess is so good that it makes foreplay seem like child’s play! In contrast, a non-virgin may only need to see a hard c**k to get wet.
So then what do we tell our children? Stay a virgin, don’t stay a virgin or be an in-between? More women are finding solace in the compromise of in-between and even though they are guilty of the same sin as the non-virgin in God’s eyes they hope that their ‘smartness’ is an insurance that covers whatever kind of man they meet.
But life is a risk and sometimes your insurance policy just doesn’t cover it.
There’s a grave possibilty that you may not be everything the man you love wants. 😦
When picking a partner, the average woman is torn between burying for good whatever sexual expertise she has and living a life like a virgin (whether real or an illusion), ignoring her sexual wants and needs and hoping the ‘sex’ would be so great and worthwhile in the end but at the same time risking him cheating on her OR on the otherhand keeping her sexual experience knowing that it’s for her man’s benefit and it makes him go gaga but knowing deep down that she may not have all his respect OR giving him ‘half&half’ and knowing he sees her virginity as a worthless addition standing in the way of getting the full taste of the sexual pleasures she continually teases him with and with this she also stands the risk of him cheating or worse still, seeing her as a confused hypocrite!
No one wants to be with someone who can’t please them sexually, man or woman and no one wants to be with someone whose lifestyle doesn’t command their fullest respect.
So now we face a dilemma. How do you please your man, keep him faithful and yet earn his respect and still preserve your peace of mind without you both dying of conji?
THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION!!!
Answers most appreciated 😉 Have a lovely day peeps! Xoxo