Staying Faithful

16 Jul

    Somewhere along the way, you will meet someone who will be more charming or sensitive than the person you’re already with or sexier, more thoughtful, wealthier, better in bed & you will meet someone who will need you and pursue you and go crazy over you more than your girlfriend ever did because no girlfriend is perfect. Your girl will only have 90 percent of what you’re looking for and cheating happens when you look for the missing 10 percent.

Let’s say your girlfriend is moody by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty girl next-door who has a cheerleader laugh no matter what she says e.g. ”I broke my arm yesterday, ha ha ha…” Or because your girlfriend is a couch potato who is always in pajamas and smelling of garlic and cooking oil, you may fall for the CK-One-smelling, colleague who comes to work in a sharp pinstripe blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your girlfriend’s the type who never shuts up even when you’ve tried using duct tape, your heart may skip a beat when you sit next to a brooding,mysterious quiet girl on the bus.

But wait! That’s only 10 percent of what you dont have. Dont throw away the 90 percent that you already do! add to the 90 percent the 100 percent that represents all the time that you have been with each other, the storms you have weathered together, the many adjustments you have made to better understand each other’s little quirks and idiosyncracies, the wealth of memories that you have accumulated as lovers, the old sparks that can always be rekindled by the walk on the beach, barefoot and underneath the stars just being with eachother…

Cheating happens when you start looking for what you dont have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already do.

The women are available not you… this is not an opportunity thing. You stay faithful by loving your girlfriend and thinking about the pain cheating would cause her even if she forgave you…

It’s called loyalty, strength of character, love, care, compassion, Honesty, Trust, Morals, integrity, dignity
-It’s called being a good boyfriend&good boyfriends become good husbands!
You have to remember that you promised your wifey. You are only eachother’s and temptation will always be out there waiting for you and inviting you in. But you must be strong and faithful, and remember that your heart and your love only belong to your woman. It is very hard to be faithful and it’s so easy to fall into temptation. But it’s not worth it.

Love is beautiful, and you should know how lucky you are to have found it with one person. It will all be worth it in the end, when it’s just you and your wife holding hands looking back on the wonderful life you had together, you don’t want to mess that up.

There’s a saying that a man is as faithful as his options let him be. If you got women routinely chasing you or putting you in a spot where you have to decide on sex with them or saying no, then it’s going to be a test of your integrity. An hour of pleasure is fleeting. A life of happiness is what everyone wants. If you throw away the latter for an hour of pleasure, a lot of people in your life will lose respect for you.

That is….if anyone finds out.

Then you have to live with the guilt and fear of worrying about someone finding out, or your mistress throwing a crazy fit and showing up at your door one day and that day may be when your girlfriend’s around.

Basically, there are good things and bad things with both cheating and staying faithful.
The good things in cheating are not better than the good things with staying faithful, but the bad things with cheating are way worse than the bad things with staying faithful. Example : You enjoy the hot sex, the conquest, the ego trip and the chase of getting a woman to cheat. Fun in the short term. But you also can enjoy a lifetime of happiness, pleasure, personal and relationship growth, with the security of knowing you have someone to share your life with.

Which is better?
You get caught cheating, your woman leaves you or never trusts you again and you destroy the beautiful thing you shared or you have to endure some low points in the relationship, boredom, monogamy, less freedom only for a while. Which is worse?

But u must first come to the realization that there is NOTHING and NO ONE worth more to you than your woman… it may take days, weeks, months or even years for you to come to that realization but once you do, you would do all in your power to protect her from hurt.

When feeling down and sorely tempted remember all the reasons why you love your woman and leave them on your list to remind you of what you have and what to be thankful for…..

Cheating shouldn’t ever be on your to-do list. Everyone should just know that you don’t cheat, the booty calls should realize that the status quo has changed and that as a man of integrity you have devoted yourself to one woman and you should be firm with them and not encourage them by giving them the slightest bit of attention. It only takes a minute to call your significant other and tell them, “this isn’t working out, it’s
over.” Click. Does it seem insensitive and cruel? Of course, but is it anymore insensitive and cruel than locking lips with or rolling around in the sack with someone else when you’ve promised exclusiveness with someone else? Don’t be that person. You know that old expression, “once a cheater, always a cheater?” Well it follows you. Reputations can be a nasty thing, especially in small circles, and that little adventure with the hot babe you met at the bar may wind up costing you a lot more than the drinks you bought. When word gets out that you’re the type that can’t keep it in your pants, not only have you doomed your current relationship (because the truth always, ALWAYS, comes out), but you’ve significantly slimmed your chances of finding anyone else willing to take a chance on you. I mean really, the people you classify as “hot” usually aren’t willing to waste their time on people who can’t manage to stay faithful anyway. They’re more than capable of finding someone hot AND monogamous.

Everyone gets tempted from time to time, but part of being an adult is having self-control. If you can’t manage that, again, don’t get into a relationship. Spend some time alone, and grow up & gain some perspective. Don’t be fooled by the saying that ‘all men cheat’…because the woman you are with may just be one of the few who’s determined to be with a faithful man and if she’s worth it, you’ll be sorry to see her go.

“Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well; whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself completely; in great aims and in small I have always thoroughly been in earnest.”
— Charles Dickens


Posted by on July 16, 2010 in Relationships


4 responses to “Staying Faithful

  1. KOO

    October 19, 2010 at 5:08 am

    Chutzpah? And yes I know the meaning! I just dont quite see you the 18 year old you that I left as a Chutzpah! Guess you’re all grown now! This is a beautiful piece and I’m quite impressed with your writing. I do wanna caution though for us women too. We (all humans) are flawed by nature. But this should not prevent us from working on our flaws. If a man’s girlfriend talks to the point where he wants to duct tape her mouth, then there might be a problem there, especially if he is the type who gets really irritated with talkatives. Actually, he probably shouldnt even be dating her in the first place, but these days, anything goes. In this scenario, sooner than later, the laws of diminishing returns would set in and soon that “10%” talkative defection would become “25%” overall defection in the sight of the man. This is likely the point at which break up would occur. We women often times are groomed to be marriage material, but no one really grooms us on being a lifelong partner. Because you were 90% yesterday doesnt automatically grant you immunity for the rest of your life.

    A few years ago, I was in a long term relationship that was on the verge of marriage. We had talked about it, and agreed that right after my graduation we would get married. A year and a half into that relationship, I had let myself go. I would bum around at home in slacks and my boyfriends t-shirts just because… I had stopped dressing up and being sexy. I’d get home from work, take off my make up and wrap my hair. My high heels would have come off in the car and i’d be walking in the door with unsexy flipflops. I started wearing just my grannie panties, no sexy lingerie, afterall, I had already bagged the man. Of course at the time I didnt realize what I was doing or how I was affecting the relationship, but I would get mad that bf was hanging out with some random hood-rat type chics. I knew (not to brag) that I was far more beautiful than those girls, but by letting go of me, I had accelerated the cycle of diminishing returns. Of course my natural reaction was to let him know how much I didnt like seeing him hanging out with those girls and how it made me not “trust” him and blah blah (which to him just equaled one thing – nagging). One day, a few days before Christmas 2006, five months to my graduation, I eventually called off the relationship. It wasnt until four months later that I could look at the chronological events to even try to decipher what went wrong and then realized ALL I did wrong. The whole point of this is to reiterate that because you have a flaw or bad habit doesnt mean you shouldnt work on fixing it. At the very least, your partner would notice your efforts, and that’s would count a long way.

  2. Phuray

    October 19, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Now Anita your first comment on this piece is certainly as beautiful!!! No doubt though that staying faithful, just as many ‘virtues’ doesnt always get desired rewards, but then we’ll agree that things just always work differently for people, dont they?

    Let’s not forget that partners can generally be grouped into two categories; ‘those who know what they want’ and ‘those that dont’…I mean of what use is all this to anyone who knows for sure that he really cant be bothered with the 90% he’s got? If a worthwhile relationship is the ultimate goal then both partners should always pay attention to ocassional ‘slacks’ as these always quickly add up to big ‘not too pretty’ gaps. This also goes to say that self appreciation also majorly reflects on how we get treated so at the end of the day its not just a one-sided appraisal…a devoted guy who knows he’s not perfect but that his chic has no commitment interests would be better off putting an end to it rather than ‘staying faithful’ because partners dont exactly get hit in the head and start appreciating the other as they should (or do they?).

    Life is BEAUTIFUL and EVERYONE sure deserves large doses of that beauty, especially in love. But as much as we’d like to believe we understand these matters in different depths though, I still strongly feel that fate always plays a huge role. Chuss…..

  3. eva

    October 19, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    Awwwwww tru talk babes

  4. Cross

    January 12, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    Ehmm *clears throat* – this sure looks ‘anti-guy’. I hoPe we see d neutral part of this piece sooon Lol!
    Good piece. I love


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